If a guy was really rude to you although you never became a thing are they are likely to do that to someone else?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I take things too personally but I do wonder if this guy who was really rude to me is like this to other people. We went out for coffee a few times and although the meetings themselves were fine, he was quite cold and abrupt while texting. He would complain that I hurt his feelings (still not sure how) and gaslight me about things I don’t even know about. He was also upset that I won’t reply to his messages right away. I do not know if he has anger issues, but he did tell me he beat a taxi driver who proceeded to touuch him while they were arguing. I feel like he abused me emotionally blaming me like that

[ManOnFire]

Oh I can guarantee you that he treats other people the same way, yes. And the fact that he had no problem sharing that piece of history with you about assaulting a taxi driver lets you know it.

From what you describe it sounds like he is temperamental, potentially violent, and mentally or emotionally unstable. Question is: are you okay with that? Would you feel good about continuing to go out with a guy like him? Would you feel safe with him alone in your house or his? Do you even feel any attraction to him now being able to see these things in him?

[Asker]

No the thing is we already stopped talking for a while now. He was very rude to me and so we haven’t spoken since April. But I still feel the effects of his emotional abuse. Also, I learned that he got in a relationship right after doing that to me which is why I feel personally offended.

[ManOnFire]

I see. Well, that's good that he's out of your life. This is probably going to sound like your usual coach talk but don't let what he did/said stay with you. It's over and gone and you don't have to deal with him anymore. You said you sometimes take things too personally, that's something in your character that you have to learn to be stronger in, but don't carry what he did through your life. It's not fair to yourself.

I feel for whatever woman he got in a relationship with, she will probably find out everything you found out.

[Asker]

It has been like 3 months.. they are still together I think

[Asker]

Lol sorry the situation is just frustrating

[ManOnFire]

Then it means she's okay with how he is... for now. But for you, you dodged a bullet.

[Asker]

And something else. He had tried to come over to my house but I just said my parents were home. It all just seems like he tried to use me and went back to his ex. I hope she dumps him lol. Thanks for the advice though 😇

[Guy13]

Yes, he treats all people badly.

[Bethany22]

He sounds emotionally toxic and physically violent. You answered your own question talking about the taxi driver

[Asker]

Yeah but I also thought that might have been a one-off accident. He’s now in a new relationship posting PDA-filled pics