I really need an advice please? what shall I do to revive my relation with hil?

[butterfly113]

so i ve been dating this guy for like 8 months now and we kinda of fell into some sort of routine and the relation began to be quiet boring (this is how i feel) when i confronted him he was so upset and sad and he said that he never felt the routine when we re toghther all what matters is to see me and spend time with me and then he said that me telling him this made him start to be cold.. i explained it wasn't about him it was about the limited activities we had and we need to do some changes. He just said nothing and just left me on seen

Please what shall i do i am so scared we love each other and i dont wanna lose him

[caring__1]

Unfortunately, people often destroy their relationships by putting the major responsibility on the other. Both partners have the option to keep the relationship new and alive. You're no more entitled than your partner is. He probably received your statement as criticism, and criticism will never lead to a positive result. When we feel criticized, we become more resistant to change and less likely to take the other's feelings into consideration.

Show by example... don't put pressure on him to perform. Determine what you believe would keep the relationship new and alive and then do those things. If he doesn't seem to notice or reciprocate, you can discuss the situation showing curiosity rather than judgment. Say, "I've been doing x, y & z to add to our relationship, and I'm curious to know if you've noticed and how those things impact you. If you feel other behaviors might be more effective, please educate me. I want us to enjoy our relationship forever, without falling into a rut. I'm your partner. Let's work together on creating and nurturing something special."

Every piece of music ever composed can be played on a piano. New keys weren't needed to come up with something new. We just creatively combine the keys that exist into something that impacts us in a different way. It's not about shooting for extremes, but being creative in your new combinations. Never seek from others what you aren't already doing yourself.

[Jamie05rhs]

What you did was good. That's healthy communication. He really shouldn't allow himself to be offended by that. He's being too sensitive. (I'm not attacking him, though; just making an observation.). If I knew you personally, I would ask if I could talk to him so I could try to make him see.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for the MHO.

[Summeroflove]

I don’t know if you were not nasty. You should be able to express your concerns. The same as he should be able to express his to you.


It’s not healthy if you can’t communicate

[Bethany22]

He left it on seen, so dig in your heels and wait for him to come up with some interesting activities to rescue the relationship

[Guy13]

Make a plan of change together

[sawno]

Do you love him for who he is? Because with my ex I never got enough of her. I loved all the moments we spent together and it was super natural even on days we had less to talk about.

So only 8 months in and you are already having this issue? That means you either don't love him for who he is and did it for the pleasant thrill of a new relationship or you indeed need more because you are bored of the stuff you do with him.

First step is figuring out which of the two it is, because its the first he is not the problem and its going to be unfair to expect him to do anything about it. If its the second one take initiative and suggest ideas you would like to do together.

[dustybiker]

He might already be gone..

[Anonymous]

Obviously not if you hassle him like this.

[Anonymous]

Don't be afraid to tell him how you feel.

[moosesixty]

One word anal

[Anonymous]

dump him