Boyfriend and rent?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend lost his job during COVID and since then he’s gone into some sort of depression, he lost his childhood friend March of that year so things have been tough. During that time, we both had to move out of our parents and agreed to live with eachother. I understood he was going through a rough time so I was there for him taking care of the rent till he got back on his feet. Well it’s been quite some time since then and it’s gotten to the point where he will start a huge blown out fight if I ask for a measly 300-400 dollars for help with rent. Yes he cooks sometimes and cleans but I’m doing the majority of the housework on top of working and every week he goes out to eat with his mom, leaving me to come home with the money I asked for him to leave on the table not there, and the kitchen a mess. He says it’s because he has no income coming in but the guy has 40k in his bank, and although he says it feels like “blood money” he has an additional 10k he saved up. I can never save because I’m living pay check to paycheck and I’m starting to resent him.

I thought his mom was my friend, so I texted her explaining my frustrations with him saying no the moment I asked for a little help. She never answered me and proceeded to pick him up for dinner and that hurt. I’m so angry inside and I want to kick him out but I’ve never been in this situation before. He gets really aggressive and mocks me when I cry and tells me “I’ll be out the end of the week” but he never does. I feel like I’m going to explode from stress and anxiety

[Bethany22]

He's aggressive AND he's using up all of your money even though he has money saved? He obviously doesn't think you're the one for him, so find yourself another apartment, and leave him in that one. Share with roommates, as you're still young enough. Maybe you'll meet your next boyfriend there.

[Asker]

This is a hard pill to swallow but you’re right, thank you.

[Bethany22]

Hope everything works out for you

[Aerissa_Jade]

Kick him out, this is why I say guys need to be stable. He clearly is not stable, yet if I say I want a stable guy other men think that means I want their money when I don't want it. I just want them to be fair, help out and take care of themselves.

You will continue resentment and it will get worse until you've had enough, eventually that will happen and now you'll have wasted all this time with him.

Best to save yourself issues and do it now, make it official with eviction papers and such, if the lease is only in your name. If both your names are on it, can't really do that.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for this. The lease is only in my name. Sorry to bother you with this, but is there a somewhere I can get more info on evicting someone who isn’t on the lease - my landlord never asked about/knows about him. He just wanted to know what my salary was and I was approved then and there

[Aerissa_Jade]

Check your local laws, each state or area is different. Even when you start the process it might take awhile though.

[ArrowheadSW]

If he's got $40K in the bank he needs to be contributing! As for the depression, it is understandable but he needs to get with it and seek treatment. There is only so much you can do. If he doesn't progress with his life he needs to move out and let you get on with your life.

[Guy13]

It sounds like is keeping himself liquid as Mom suggests. 10,00 can do a deposit and 4-5 months Rent. Do you share loans and lease etc?

[Asker]

No we don’t share anything. And what do you mean by keeping himself liquid? I’m sorry I didn’t understand that part

[Guy13]

Moving on 10,000 savings

[Asker]

Thank you. After today I’m starting to see that. I know it’s pathetic but it really makes me sad. I was there for him at his lowest and seeing the blatant disregard for all I’ve put into this while he’s getting a free meal, I don't know. Better I realize now than never I guess

[Guy13]

It’s a shame as he’s letting a keeper slide through hands.

[Ironic_Method]

That doesn't sound like a relationship. If he's threatening to move out then he's just using you for a place to say. Make him make good on his promise and evict him.

[JustiReno]

He need to come out his pockets for you he just using you for money, so pathetic

[In_Trance]

I think you need to figure out what you're actually doing here

[Anonymous]

I assume he was the one who asked you out and hit on you

[Anonymous]

He is using you. Dump him ASAP.