If you were in love with your partner and you found out she was a dancer like over 10 years ago, would you break up?

[Anonymous]

It feels like a lifetime ago, but I never told my partner, I’m afraid he’ll judge me. Plus there is no one I’m friends from back then. Of course it has never come up

Yes

No

I don’t know

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Updates

+1 y

Thanks, I told him anyway and he was as bothered as I thought. I let him know it’s nothing I want everyone to know, and we agreed. It’s not affected us.

[YourFavoriteFriend]

In your case, if your partner never asked, then you can say it to him and put it out as "you never asked" which may not work but you can try if you want (and you should in my opinion) to be honest.

As for me, having a past like that is a no. I would ask and If I had learned that she lied, that would be another reason to break up with her.

[Guy13]

Interesting…not sleeping well? I guess our past never really fades…

[Asker]

I’m sleeping fine I’m just curious

[Guy13]

Gotcha…. it wouldn’t bother me if we are secure in who/what we are together. Everyone has a past although honesty upfront would have been appreciated.

[Darine123]

Stripper? If he doesn’t ask about it do not tell him. Past is past you can’t fix anything. And if you didn’t do that you maybe not with him today

[jennifer_bloom]

You are going to pay for spreading lies about me. One day you will regret you ever met me.

[Asker]

I think you replied to the wrong post 😑

[Kryptocyn]

I wouldn't, all that matters is how you are as a person, a lot can happen in 10 years, you have changed a lot and you probably haven't realised it, people overestimate what they could do or change as a person in a year but underestimate what they could do or change as a person in a decade, I would recommend to tell your partner for your peace of mind and to have no lies to be between you and your partner, wish you all the best

[Asker]

Thank you, I agree.

[Kryptocyn]

No problem

[Anonymous]

By never mentioning it, you've moved it from just being your past, to being a lie through omission. You've also robbed him of the chance... the free will to make his own choice. This is partly why I do not do relationships. They become a liability... lie... ability. You've purposely kept something from him in order to get the outcome most favorable to you and what you need. Thereby disregarding his own needs in the process. This is what will be the factor that causes the most damage... ironically.

[Opinion Owner]

Concerning your update 'It’s not affected us. '

Don't be naive. When a man learns something like this, it will have an impact. Whether he's conscious of it is another question.

[Asker]

The opinion of an anonymous older man is not of concern to me, you two have nothing in common

[Opinion Owner]

If it didn't, you wouldn't have even bothered to reply...

[TroyDT2]

I'm guessing you mean exotic rather than ballet. Ask yourself, "What if we continue on and my partner finds out from someone else?" Will that be better than telling? Only you can answer that.

[BJP21]

Thats water under the bridge. She simply a former exotic dancer. she's a keeper.

[Anonymous]

Not sure, I mean she's been hiding it for 10 years. It's really hard to forgive such a deep breach of trust.