Why don't some women understand that men can separate sex and relationships and not have them be a mutually exclusive thing?

Question

A lot of times of GAG, stupid women will bring up how some guys like sleeping around a lot and being with loose or easy women (although I'm not one of these guys and have never been a "hookup" person whatsoever), and how these same guys "slut shame" and dislike these women or fail to respect them.

Do women really not understand how guys see sex and dating as two different things?

Cause I see of lot of this feminist BS on GAG a lot. It ain't that hard to figure out how men operate, though. If a guy isn't serious about a relationship or doesn't want one, yes, he'll see a woman who just wants to sleep around and be slutty as a positive, because he gets sex from her. But if a guy wants an actual relationship, he won't want to have anything to do with her, because the experience he wants with a woman is mutual.

One analogy I like to use is celebrities. You may like seeing movies with Scarlett Johansson or Chris Hemsworth in them, but does that mean you want to marry Scarlett Johansson or Chris Hemsworth just because you liked The Avengers? To men, sex is like watching a movie star in a movie; it's entertainment and fun. But few of us sane men would want to actually marry Scarlett Johansson for real (maybe a few of you might want her in a fantasy). In real life, we'd probably want someone more the opposite of Scarlett Johansson.

Men can compartmentalize sex and relationships and treat them as two VERY different things!

So guys who just want sex, can be glad slutty women exist, but it doesn't mean he wants to marry you (or will even respect you). That is why some guys will just use these women for bedroom fun but not "want to put a ring on it."

Do many women seriously not understand this? Or do they just like to hear themselves complain? Or is it some other reason they like to claim men have "double standards" that really aren't double standards?

Filthy_Immigrant · Accepted Answer

I think women do understand this. is just that their feminized egos makes them believe that they can conquer this.

I mean lets face it, feminism has been cockblocking us for quite a while now that unfortunately we modern men have become so pussywhipped as a result, till the point that we do anything for sex. even getting into relationships all for it, whether we love the bimbo or not.

women nowadays have gotten so used to this till the point that they believe that they can make any loser fall in love with them just for simply letting them have sex with them

Exterminatore · Accepted Answer

Because many of them can’t. Most women think their vagina is lined with 24K gold and that it’s extremely rare and unique. Because of this they feel they must extract something from the man, namely commitment before allowing access. Many of them anyway.

The reality is more than 1/2 the people on this planet have vaginas and they’re as common as asphalt.

William7489 · Answer

I don’t think that’s the problem. I’m pretty sure women know that men are visual creatures and very hormonal driven particularly when they’re younger. The problem comes into existence when you have the bad boys or the players out there telling all the girls what they want to hear just to get them in the bed and then blow them off. This gives every guy a bad name. Women, correctly, should assume that if somebody’s showing interest in them that they’re interested in them as a person and not just a quick roll around in the bed. If that’s what you’re looking for, you really should tell the person. And I’m not naïve, I know one night stands happen, but I’m talking about the most normal situation. It’s one thing to understand it, in the same way that I understand people who are desperate for money may rob a store, but I don’t ever condone it. In this day and age, you need to be very transparent with whoever you’re going to be trying to hook up with. Trust me it’s in everybody’s best interest.

sassy_receptor · Answer

i don’t know why some women don’t get it but i think my generation understands it easily and that’s because we’re doing the same exact thing with men. as women continue to go after what they want in life and are achieving their dreams, their standards are getting higher as they should be. so women are being more selective than ever before that’s men don’t like it (but that’s another story for a different day). that being said sexual needs still have be to met so will she have sex with a guy? sure. will she date him or does she consider him relationship material? no way. she has too much going on and finds enough companionship in her friends, family, dreams; and goals.

i see guys on my university’s social media app asking why women at the school don’t want to date and only want to be friends with benefits or not be committed all the time. they’ll tell stories about how they met a girl they really liked, we’re talking to the girl, and then she explains that she’s not interested in a relationship right for whatever reason.

so yeah women definitely understand the idea of compartmentalization because we do it too! men aren’t unique in this area haha.

AshLee83 · Answer

I think the same goes in reverse. A common question that arises among women after speaking of a new partner is “well, is he relationship material?”

Some relationship are purely sexual and aren’t expected to go any further. Demanding work schedules, daily obligations and an self inflicted pressure to achieve our goals can leave little time for pleasure. So sometimes it’s ok to just want sex as long as the feeling is understood and mutual. And as long as we’re only sleeping with was just other, no thank you std’s.

My point is, many women today not only understand purely sexual based relations, they understand it’s benefits. Should people be sexless simply bc they have a busy life. Nope. We’re sexual animals by nature. But sleeping with men or women who sleep around with multiple partners is quite disgusting, lonely or not. One dirty partner can give a gift that keeps on giving hahahaha.

So I’m closing, make love just don’t slut. Hahahaha

letuswaltzforthedead · Answer

There's also a difference on level of importance for both things. Many guys may say they want a relationship and not only sex but refuse to be with a girl without a similar sex drive level. Its usually what I hear married men or guys in a relationship complain about, either no sex at all or too little of it.

I think that's the main confusion a lot of feminists have, they think that just because many men dont want a sexless relationship, men should want a easy/slutty women to marry. They don't.

hahahmm · Answer

A lot of women compartmentalize too. The thing is that when you find someone who you really value you don't want to lose them so you're willing to give up some things as it's mutually beneficial. Sort of like if you're on a sports team with another good player & you both agree to play for the same team instead of switching teams every other week.

When a woman says she doesn't get it, what I think she means is she gets it but there's no reason/plus for her to admit it to you. For 100% sure there are women who are telling one dude she's loyal to him or 'waiting' for him while she's on everything that moves behind his back. Not unusual.

Personally, I was never the guy who wanted a bunch of women tho. But yes it's common.

TrueConfection · Answer

Nope, I seriously do not understand this. I'm trying though! I have read and re-read your post and shine of the responses.

I must be one of the "stupid women" that you mentioned because I do see men sleep around and then "slut shame". How often do we see q&a's about how many dates before she should agree to sex and q&a's about some unwritten rule that men and women need to have sex before they decide to invest in a relationship? Couple that with all the posts from men saying they only want to marry a virgin and body count matters. I'm not sure how that works unless a guy wanting a relationship with a woman who has a low body count is the only guy "trying out" women before he gets too invested. It just doesn't make sense to me. Maybe I'm too old fashioned? I'm not a feminist.

Emiliamazing · Answer

There are men and women who are looking for a relationship, and there are men and women who are looking for sex only. That's very obvious. The problem occurs when the objective of the relationship/non-relationship is not shared with the other individual.

Individuals sometimes hope that they can change a person's mind and get them to "turn over a new leaf" so to speak.

men are certainly more inclined to enjoy sex without a relationship, and it really should be made obvious through simple communication. Enter the "player". The player is not going to let on why someone might be the object of his/her attention, until he/she gets what they want in the form of sex.

TryMeBee · Answer

I think they can understand that, it's just the hypocrisy that bothers them. You can't have sex with a bunch of "easy" people without yourself having sex "easily," so when you start looking for something serious... why should anyone else respect or want you any more than you respect or want easy women for a relationship?

Clearly, women can also separate sex and dating. That doesn't mean having a lot of sex outside a relationship doesn't—or shouldn't—effect their trying to get a relationship later on. Its just the same with men, that's all.

nymphxie · Answer

It’s not that we don’t understand. It’s that it hurts a lot of us.

To me as a woman, sex is a sign of intimacy and it makes me feel loved. It’s hard to imagine how a guy can desperate love and sex, but I know they do. Some women understand but don’t want to believe it. It hurts.

JDavid25 · Answer

Well, I think a lot do understand it, they just don't like it (which understandable).. But also rather West, hell maybe even the World is Gynecentric.. It seems more geared towards understanding women than men.. A lot of women simply forget that men and women are wired differently..

RiseofArtemis · Answer

Because women can only think Like women. Men will have Sex with a Woman no problem if they get proposed the Idea of intercourse, but those women should expect the man to disapear as soon as he's done. They feel nothing for her.

A man can have unemotional sex with one woman and put all his love and emotions to the one he cares about. That's not the same with women.

bolverk · Answer

OK, I've worked with women at every stage of my working life and it has taken the better part of a year in each step for the women to come to the realisation that I can appreciate how a women looks, but that doesn't mean I want to date them, then we'd be able to develop a working relationship built on their skills not their sexuality, and I'd never date someone within the company, even more so following #METOO.

peedy · Answer

Men are logic and reason based thinkers
VS
Women who are emotion based thinkers

That is why we can never understand each other our brains are wired differentl men come home and hit the light switch and lights up the house woman come home and hit the switch and burn down the house

Jdjfjcjj · Answer

To the women who fall in this category, I'd assume this is the case (without mentioning the connection/bonds that they can develop through sex) because women in general sleep with men who they are attracted to. Many men can sleep with a woman regardless of attraction.

When guy pills away then, it can hurt for woman. Compounding the issue is that people desire what they can't have.

7barbieringz · Answer

I get it and I do the same exact thing. I've been told I act like a guy I relationships by the men I've dated lol I can detach myself very easily

little_bird1 · Answer

It's like a clothing store; you try out many stuff in hope to find the best one to buy. Sometimes we find something perfect but it's too expensive, still we enjoy those 5 minutes of trying it out before we leave in tears.

Berethor · Answer

Women tend to be more emotional so it hard for them separate between sex and relationship.

JayParris · Answer

They understand it just fine. They use it and like it when its what they want. They only talk down about it when it doesn't suit their needs or to save face.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Women have no desire to understand men as women think they are the center of all relationships.

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

Exactly! Finally something speaking the truth. Lust doesn't equal love

Why don't some women understand that men can separate sex and relationships and not have them be a mutually exclusive thing?

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