Can the following difference (see example) cause stress in a relationship?

[Lliam]

This question is based on a conversation I had with someone. It's not autobiographical.

Let's say that a husband is has a calm personality and needs a certain amount of quiet time. Or he is methodical and needs time to process things before taking action.

The wife is busy, busy, busy. Her mind never stops. She are action oriented. She thinks of projects and things to do, plan vacations, discuss finances and the future, and making investments. She's enthusiastic, not nagging. Doesn't yak yak yak, but is full of ideas.

Assume that you both love and trust each other and, aside from this one personality difference, get along great. You are really good for each other.

If you were person A, would this cause you any discomfort? How would you handle it?

Can anyone relate to this?

[NathanDavis]

stress could be caused by friction, tension, conflict... whether you confront a situation or not, it will build up such stress

there would be a lot to assume here and many things to wonder as well, although they have such contrasting personalities and character, perhaps attitude as well, they do managed to get along first as a couple, and then even as a married couple, so they obviously had a way to communicate, to work along, to commit and compromise, otherwise I don't see how they would ever end up married

I'm still assuming though, and perhaps something changed, someone changed? things changed, that is for sure, which is natural for many circumstances in life, in people and also in relationships... maybe they started to avoid rather than reach, maybe they started to let it slide or brush under the rug rather than resolve, maybe they started to not care and let it build up but why? there could be many reasons as to why, and I cannot assume that much

but I do think that the key might be there, what changed, why did they change, what is different now that it was not previously there... once you find out what's missing today that was not missing before... how do you get that back, and then more importantly, do you even want it back? do they want it back? or are they no longer really interested on going back to what they used to have or in the way they had it before

everything changes, evolves, and needs to adjust in order to go on... the moment someone or something does not adjust, that's the moment you start to drift apart, till one day you're wondering well, where the hell are we now?

I am not sure on how long would they've been together but the usual in these relationships which such a noticeable (or seemingly) difference and contrasting personalities is that the more proactive one will be a bit more of a leader than the passive one, or maybe the passive one is more imposing and makes the proactive one to just... settle, either way... one had to be the one rowing in one direction, while the other would either sit and be lead on, or eventually row in the same way as the lead (hope this figure gets my point across lol) and if the stress and strain in the relationship happens or started to happen, might be due to the fact that the one that was following the lead might have started to row on their own direction, and a different one from the lead

but maybe I got it all backwards or not all, like I said there was a lot to assume here... lol

[Andres77]

its my life

[Andres77]

i'm an introvert with aspbergers and she's a EXTRAvert...

[Lliam]

Who is an EXTRAvert? Your partner?

[Andres77]

this description is exactly us

[Lliam]

So then it works out fine?

[Andres77]

we've been fine for years. lately financial stresses have been causing problems but before the current financial situation we were fine

[TrueConfection]

It could work. It seems like a nice balance if person B is productive with all that energy and a "nag".

At the moment, I can relate to person A. I'm up at 4am out of desperation for a little peace and quiet while I enjoy my couch and living room, but ALAS, I have person B who got up for God knows what reason and there noise noise noise, decisions being made, etc. Person B is probably trying to be helpful, but as person A, I feel like there is a sense of urgency in EVERY thing at the moment and I'm starting my day off aggravated as all get out... Maybe there is stress. 😂

Thanks for letting me rant.

[TrueConfection]

*and NOT a "nag" (top)

[Lliam]

LOL That was a great example.

[TrueConfection]

Thanks for the MHO ❤

[lightbulb27]

Person A is the introvert right? I've seen that with friends of mine... she was highly driven go go go spend spend spend, couldn't shut down... he was laid back, not as motivated ok with what he had. Yes, caused stress but they worked it out for many years. eventually came apart. I think that part... worked, but was key stresser.

[Sevenpointfive]

that personally wouldn't bother me. i've had close female friends like this and all i had to say was you're giving me anxiety. we'd chill out for a bit and then we were good to go again

[Lliam]

That's what I was thinking, too.

[Anonymous]

Sure Ying to his Yan...