What do you consider to be your greatest relationship discovery?

Question

BullShark · Accepted Answer

It doesn't matter how sexy or attractive your partner may be. For me, my greatest discovery in a relationship is whether or not my partner is on the same wavelength as I am when we come to think, or how smart they are, and I can't stress that enough.

Now there's a difference between being goofy and being a total idiot, but I definitely feel like a smart partner is probably one of the most fundamental things you MUST have. Someone who can understand your problems and where you're coming from, someone who can help you come up with solutions to your problems, and someone you can have meaningful, deep conversations with.

I mean yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever actually sat down and talked with someone for HOURS without running out of words to say and someone whom you feel like you're really connected with?

Rapport · Accepted Answer

Don't get in one if you're not mentally/emotionally ready for one.

That's an obvious thing, but it's something that I feel like more people need to acknowledge.

A relationship ain't gonna work if the relationship you have with yourself is already garbage.

melanieeeB · Accepted Answer

For me it was that it's okay to express anger or any emotion or boundaries and needs and them not leaving immediately or hating you cause you did so and that stuff like that is normal! ... as a kid I was mostly taught to become a people pleaser and that my emotions and needs didn't matter and if I did express them it didn't go well, so growing up I was always scared to anger someone else by putting me first or even second

ElizaPam · Accepted Answer

That there's no shame in men and women assuming their natural roles in relationships and a relationship can't be happy with feminism

Guy13 · Answer

Networking and Relationship are important...

Weapon77 · Answer

That me trying to treat all people as my equals while keeping everyone's best interests in mind and trying to get past the negative things they do or say will only make me miserable and lead to them walking all over me. My error was thinking most people were like me and thought of everyone as having roughly equal value of opinions and such, but almost all people actually value themselves and their own opinions and desires above everyone else's, so if I actually want to be equal, I have to also care more about my own thoughts and needs than those of others. It doesn't mean I can beat people I don't like or steal or anything, but it does mean I can call out family members and strangers for being assholes, ignore people I can tell are assholes, and not go to events or do anything I don't want to do.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

I discovered that my personal experiences, no matter good or bad, are anecdotal and they don't require me to look at entire groups of people with generalizations because of them. It's helped me look at each person as an individual. To make a silly point of it. If I had 4 bad reIationships with 4 blue eyed people, I know not all blue eyed people are the same, and that it doesn't mean all blue eyed people need to be avoided or label them as bad. This makes me feel less jaded and positive about humanity. There are so many f'd up things and people out there but they're not all bad and so many are good.

Lliam · Answer

The importance of non-judgemental or accusatory communication. If two people love each other, they don't hurt each other. They listen to each other. Even when there is an argument of disagreement, they communicate lovingly.

Minxxie · Answer

Ignore most of what they say and pay attention to what they actually do.

DiegoO · Answer

I had several, but the most important of all was:

Love yourself first and make sure to find a partner that love her/hisself as well, otherwise, either you'll not be able to give the necesary affection for a healthy relation, or you'll end up with someone uncaple of giving and receiving, healthy affection.

NathanDavis · Answer

with the first one... that I could actually keep myself emotionally and mentally balanced... who knew? lol...

but yes, that was the biggest uncertainty of mine, before I ever got into any relationship

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Relationships are a choice. You have to choose to be in a relationship. Now, maybe that’s not a choice you’re all that sure about, and that’s perfectly fine; but it is something you have to choose to do, and it really IS that simple.

Agape93 · Answer

Loyalty matters most. If they're loyal, they won't cheat, won't maliciously lie to you, won't betray you and won't hide things from you.

es20490446e · Answer

That most problems dealing with women come from not realizing how much women like men, and how well they hide it.

MM1480 · Answer

The trend of ghosting especially from guys who openly claim to like you and show through weeks of obvious pursuit.

DavidHart · Answer

i discovered that i am able to have sex 3 times per day.

Havthrills · Answer

That I go for the crazies that want to kill me towards the end?

msc545 · Answer

I discovered that women never have my best interests in mind and cannot be trusted.

SnowedIn · Answer

vulnerability with each other.

slatyb · Answer

That after three dates women want sex.

Wubs3000 · Answer

Don't force what won't work

BJP21 · Answer

How you treat people matters.

pizzalovershouse · Answer

Communication is it

Guardian45 · Answer

Women DON'T think or act like Men

EaterPeter · Answer

Relationships are overrated.

dustybiker · Answer

Honesty.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Kissing

What do you consider to be your greatest relationship discovery?

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