Do some people learn faster after the first mistake?

[Anonymous]

This is my 2nd relationship and this time my parents and family adore him. I chose wrong the 1st time but selected right this time.

Meanwhile there are people that continue stumbling with the same rock over and over. I'm like that in other aspects in life too, including cooking. I just don't fall for the same mistake twice. Once is enough for me.

Would you call that a fast learner?

[lightbulb27]

some do. everyone is an individual. some people make same choices over and over. a lot of choices come from sub conscious mind. so until that changes, get same decisions and results.

[CallmeTheKnight]

Yes, SOME people, not most. I learn immediately after one mistake

[Asker]

True. I learned from my ex boyfriend what a disgusting narcissist is like as well what a man that'll never marry me (keeps me as a forever girlfriend, playing dumb) acts like. I would have to be a complete idiot to fall for the same game twice. Those that don't learn and continue falling for toxic people all the times and continue believing they can change someone bad, well I don't feel sorry for them by then.

[Anonymous]

Did your first relationship last a long time?

[Anonymous]

Some do. Some women learn fast, some women learn slow, Some women... never learn.🤣🤣🤣

[aaron210419]

Yes, intelligent people do. Some never learn.

[Asker]

yeah I really stopped having pity for people that keep going for toxic partners all the times... that's their fault by then if they can't learn what's unhealthy from their first mistake

[aaron210419]

In most cases I'd agree with you completely, but on a deeper psychological evaluation it seems that in relationships, people who have had a traumatic childhood will unconsciously seek those that will make them feel that trauma because it's all they know. It can take years or even a lifetime to realize traumas such as narcissistic abuse etc. In general, I'm right there with you but I'm never quick to judge what may look completely obvious to me but could actually be much deeper than pure stupidity or even a conscious choice.