Why do a lot of people still encourage relationships where the man is much older than the woman? Isn't that patriachial! ? ?

[Anonymous]

I thought we lived in the new Millenium already.. why such old and outdated and PATRIACHIAL values? !

[abc3643]

You know, it's not like men have this convention at which we plan how to oppress women and establish these societal rules like "Generally, men will be older than women in relationships."

So, why does this happen?

It's called "emergent behavior". This often means that, when a system is left alone, the actions of individual parts make it seem like the actions of the individuals were coordinated.

For example, look at a flock of birds flying or a school of fish swimming. Each animal acts individually, yet, all the animals appear to exhibit similar behavior as a group. There are no written rules for this behavior; it just happens as a result of the animals' instincts ("rules", so to speak).

That's important to realize.

And the same thing happens with humans which is why many of our societies appear "patriarchal" (believe it or not, there are a considerable number of matriarchal / matrilineal societies).

OK, so what about this specific trend: Women in relationships with men older than them?

Well, again, look at instincts.

In this case, two instinctive trends are at work.

First, regardless of sex, the younger the adult, the more physically attractive the adult is on evolutionary (healthier and more fertile and capable) and biological grounds (less aged so healthier).

Second, and this is a female instinct - not male at all - is that females are generally attracted to males who are older because the older male often seems more capable of protecting her and her children. He is more confident but also more knowledgeable and careful. He is more attuned to her and not just all about sex. He is likely more established in society. Etc.

So, am I full of shit?

Nope. As evidence, all you have to do is notice here or among close female friends or whoever all the women who have fantasies involving male authorities - doctors, teachers / professors, cops, fathers/father's friend/friend's father, etc. This is a very prevalent fantasy - almost fetish - among many women.

Anyway, bottomline, this isn't a patriarchy thing.

[abc3643]

For the record, my last girlfriend was 9y 1m older than me and my wife is 5y 6m older than me.
Previous to that, my GFs ranged to a maximum of 5y 8m younger than me.

[abc3643]

This video is an example of emergent behavior.
In this video, each of the 5 metronomes is started individually with different starting angles and they are not started simultaneously. Yet, the vibrations from each metronome affect all the other metronomes so that, over time, gradually all the metronomes become synchronized.

The metronomes didn't have a plan to synchronize - they just did because of the laws of physics.

https://youtu.be/T58lGKREubo

=====
A lot of "the patriarchy" is the same way; humans being humans in groups interact which leads to apparent group behavior that looks planned when it's not.

[SpokenTruth]

When I was little I wanted a girlfriend but I was too young. When I reached my teens I wanted a girlfriend but they were already chasing the guys with money. When I reached 19 I got a girlfriend but I wasn't good enough I was only temporary (her own words). When I reached 20 I got a new girlfriend but she cheated advised to do so by her mom even cheated with a good friend and he told me about it and we broke up.

In my 20's I wanted a girlfriend but they were looking for someone older with a established career and all the money. When I reached my 30's it was the same thing. And into my mid 40's those things begin to run through my mind, Due to open borders and technology I lost my opportunities my career. I had no marriage, I had no children.

The clock had run out, So no matter at what age I was at there was always a problem why I had no one. And as I reached my 50's I came to realize it was no use trying anymore the clock has ran out.

And what I have discovered along the way was that all those females that I wasn't fit enough, good enough, rich enough, those that went for the rich guy, lived the good life, had the marriage, had already raised their children, had it their way, only now they have had their life fall apart, divorced single and lonely, and now they are paying attention, they are looking my way now, now that I am finished with it all and no thank you.

And at a time when I was dreaming of those women trying my best to be what they and society expected of me, I begun to realize for every ounce of love I had for them they returned it with a pound of hate. And today I was never married, never got to experience having children and can't go near children of others either much less adopt, feminism is against me, the laws are against me, society is against me too.

I had my career stolen handed over to foreigners, evaders, the very ability to support a family is gone. I am looked at as a danger anywhere I go. I am stuck in a country where I would rather not be and even pretty much had the opportunity to leave confidently removed too. I am now single, childless, alone, in a country I no longer want to be in that I would leave in a heartbeat given I had that opportunity.

I have to live in a country where I have to worry about my own safety if I would risk going around others especially females or around children being painted as a predator. I wake up everyday and repeat the same old thing I have done for the majority of my time on this earth, which is to be alone, sit alone, do everything alone, all attempts for a remedy are over. So please tell me where this Patriarchy is or was I missed out.

[SpokenTruth]

As for me don't worry about me looking for younger females. I don't want to go near any females much less date them. I no longer want or would I be willing to ever consider dating or a relationship. I have long ago put the idea away as a life commitment.

[raven6933]

So basically you're blaming everyone else for your short comings. Way to take responsibility... not. Maybe it wasn't them it was you. Yet you didn't figure out what it was and did absolutely nothing to correct that. Sucks to be you. Your gonna die an angry old man because you didn't take responsibility for your own short comings. Damn that's sad. You got anyone else ya wanna blame?

[SpokenTruth]

@raven6933 So according to you anyway, you think I could have actually have some type of power over the system or over feminism and those in control? I didn't partake in a system deliberately pitted against me? You actually think I or common man has that type of control? And for your information I have been trying to wake the masses up for years to make them aware of the plans of those that did it all. And you think that isn't taking responsibility.

[raven6933]

Oh please stop. What is it you people blaming others for your short comings? It's not them it's you. Your attitude is what turns everyone off. The poor pitiful victimhood mentality needs to stop. Be a man not an obnoxious jerk. Stop trying to gain sympathy for your short comings. When you see women as objects they can sense that. Female intuition. Babies and animals are also great judge of character. If an "immigrant" as you claim took your job, that says more about you than them. When you suck, you get replaced by someone who doesn't suck. Try working harder while whining less. Again it's a you problem. Be a man and take responsibility for your actions. Women want to be loved, cherished and respected not treated as objects. But since your privilege card has been rejected it's still a you thing. No one owes you anything. Change your views and life may improve. Here's a test. Buy a bus ticket to somewhere that you have never been, treat them with respect and see how it works out. When you have the attitude of poor pitiful me no one wants anything to do with you. It's all about how you carry yourself. Good luck.

[SpokenTruth]

@raven6933 Me blaming others for my short comings? Are you suggesting that I opened the borders gave my job away to invaders? Are you suggesting that I pitted the entire system against myself to a point where I literally had to fear bringing someone else into my life or even going near others? Are you suggesting I could have fixed any of that?

[raven6933]

Oh give it a rest. There are no open borders. Stop repeating what the talking heads a f*ck entertainment tells you. But here are some fun facts. Before the invasion there were no boarders. The Mexicans occupied the entire southern half of North America. Also there is a International law that says we can not turn away asylum seekers and to do so would be in direct violation of the Geneva Convention. If you're so afraid other the "others" then move to Russia where it's lily white and you can pray as much as you wish. Also there women love to be dominated. If anyone should be whining about "open" boarders is the Native Americans. Look at what your ancestors have done. If you can't take responsibility for your poor attitude then there's no helping you. Stop expecting handouts. No one owes you anything. If you can't make your "white" privilege card work then that's on you, no one else. It's people like you who give a bad reputation to other males. The system is not rigged against you. It's rigged for you and if you don't know how to take advantage of it then again it's a you thing. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and be a man not a mouse. There's nothing worse than a whiny bitchy male who blames everyone else except for themselves. The "alpha's" are laughing at you not with you. Get a spine and grow up. Mommy has ruint you.

[SpokenTruth]

@raven6933 You may think there is no invasion because you didn't lose your career or jobs to them like I did. You are talking to someone that literally sit across the room and watched them do their own job that they (meaning I) couldn't get. I was doing the sweeping and clean job while they were doing drywall and finishing. And whites are also the minority around my area now literally and many of the new neighbors can't speak English at all or can't speak it well and it's all provable, And yes you are right about one thing, Russian women know what it takes to be women unless they are in the new minority indoctrinated by western feminism. Also now that you mention Russia and ancestry, the Russian's were the first American natives. Decifer the link remove the brackets from the period and enjoy the read:
snexplores (.) org/article/dna-reveals-clues-siberian-ancestors-first-americans

[Aerissa_Jade]

I encourage anyone to be happy with whoever, age doesn't matter as long as you are compatible. Guys closer to my age have often been terrible, older is nicer and those older men say that women their own age, simply don't want to be with them. They are too independent and are happy being single.

I just say age doesn't matter as much as people think it does... and outside of GAG it is rare to even hear about it.

[Apple1996]

For real large age gaps are creepy. I've seen a lot of these "younger women" speak out when they are older about how it was a mistake and that they were groomed. I wouldn't want anyone going through that situation so hopefully this trend stops cuz it's just disturbing

[Vegasrunner]

@Apple1996 If by trend you men going on for thousands of years. Older men w/ younger women is not new, it just may be new to you. Men are valued for their resources women are valued for their beauty. Men don't typically reach their financial peak until they hit their mid 40's women are not beautiful when they are in their early 20's this is not a difficult concept. A lot of women don't like it because it reminds them how short of a shelf life their value is.

[Apple1996]

@Vegasrunner it was only that way back then cuz women would die during childbirth so there'd be a lot of men that lived longer lives. Now a days it's actually the opposite since women live longer.

And umm nah there are plenty of successful men in their 20s-30s they're just already taken. If a guy is still single by 40 cuz of taking so long with his career then he isn't worth dating

Also women don't peak until their late 30s-early 40s. Men peak in 18-22 range. Literally women do hold their value for a very long time and even into old age they are the better looking ones out of both genders

[Vegasrunner]

@Apple1996 This is another example of women living in complete delusion. It was that way back then because just like today men value youth and beauty, when's the last time you've seen a 40 yr old miss America winner? Outside of some celebrity or sports star which is less than 0.001% of all men men don't reach their financial peak until around 45. It's much easier to find a woman when you're in your late 30's 40's simply because you have more resources. Are you aware that roughly 1/3 of men under 30 are currently virgins? Lol, women peak around 24-25 maybe into their late 20's that's why they are routinely phased out of TV roles, commercial and all other visual mediums once they hit 30. Again you're making the mistake many women make of believing the genders are equal. A rich old ugly man can have as many women as he wants. A rich old, ugly women dies alone because her only value to men is her beauty. Hard reality I know but it has always been a fact of life.

[Apple1996]

@Vegasrunner miss America doesn't equal beauty. Those women are literally faking their beauty with make up and hair pieces lol.
Beauty and looks aren't everything to most men. They just want someone loyal and loving which is hard to find in women. Which is why there are so many single men. But there are plenty with a lot of money that are willing to have a wife and family if they could find the right girl.

And umm nah old rich women are single cuz they are smart and don't want to deal with grumpy old men. Even they don't want the older men. That's why old men go after a young naive girl to manipulate. It really has nothing to do with looks. The old men are just desperate for love at that point if they never got any in their 20-30s.

[Vegasrunner]

@Apple1996 Winning a beauty pagent doesn't equal beauty? Say that out loud and see how that sounds. Not sure what men you're referring to but beauty and looks is all that women really have to offer men. Lol wait, men are single because they can't find anyone but women are single by choice? This is the epitome of female delusion. If you're simply going to make something up you should at least make up something believable. Rich old women are single because no one cares about how much money a women has, here value is only in her looks. Most rich old men aren't single because a man's value is in his resources so it's much easier for them to attract a women. You may want to visit planet earth at some point in your life.

[Apple1996]

@Vegasrunner I don't think many guys look at beauty queens as women they want relationships with. Most of those women are actually single cuz they are busy with their own careers and don't wanna settle down. Men want a woman to settle down with.
And there is much more women offer to men then their looks. It's the main reason why men want marriage is for all the benefits they gain during it

[Avicenna]

@Vegasrunner: Most women aren’t delusional about this topic like Apple is. The most delusional claim is that men peak at 18-22 (she once told me 16-22!). Now, women in their 30s Are great, but if they’re moms, they are not that desirable to other men.

[Apple1996]

@Avicenna men literally have fetishes over milfs 😂 they are most definitely desirable when old and have kids.
And yes men peak in that age range. After that it's downhill for them. If you haven't noticed men start balding and going grey much much earlier then women do. It's just how aging works.
Even my own husband that is 25 was complaining how he's aged a ton and I still look the same as I did at 16 when we met

[Avicenna]

No woman with kids is desirable to most men for any type of relationship. Men don't prefer a MILF with kids, the only reason why they are interested in them at all is because they are presumed to be more willing to have casual sex and be more skilled at it due to their many years of experience.

For someone who says there's much more to women than their looks you seem to be awfully concerned with men's looks, or more accurately, them looking very young. That's not what's attractive to most women.

Women's attractiveness is more tied to a youth than a man's is. Not that everyone ages the same and there is definitely more to a person that their looks. But 18 year old men are mostly boys. To suggest that they are at peak attractiveness to women is ludicrous and even a blind person knows they aren't being targeted by women, which is what you'd expect if they were at their peak. Guys that age are less likely to be having sex than men my age are.

And you do know that lots of men don't go bald, right?

[Apple1996]

18 year olds are not boys anymore. It's for sure when men peak sexually. Just cuz they aren't having sex that doesn't mean they aren't peaking.

I'm not to caring about looks. More just saying that the grey/balding thing is a sign of aging. And women at those ages tend to have 0 signs of aging.

[Paulalove98]

@Avicenna men love milfs it's a fact especially young men and men in their early 30s.

[Paulalove98]

@Avicenna milfs exist and are always gonna be existing if a woman takes care of herself, even a woman without kids can be fairly attractive in her 30s, 40s, 50s etc. I've seen women whom I went to high school with that are only 22 or 23 look freaken 30 already due to bad unhealthy life habits and I've seen 33 year olds look better than them.

[Apple1996]

@Paulalove98 yeah it seems like some gen z are not aging well. Both men and women due to unhealthy lifestyles. Which is very sad 😔

[Paulalove98]

@Apple1996 I'm from gen z but I don't smoke, drink or do drugs and I also exercise and wear SPF people tell me I look the same since I was 19. I think it's really sad the mid 2000s kids are looking older already.

[Paulalove98]

I also drink lots of water and green tea @Apple1996 and don't wear makeup.

[Avicenna]

@Paulalove98: I don't know what alternate universe you're in, but MILF is more a fantasy than reality. Women with kids are not attractive to the vast majority of men for anything but sex. And men prefer younger, childless women. It's also not a secret that women's bodies change after having some kids.

[Avicenna]

@Apple1996: LOL, men do not peak sexually at 18. You obviously lack life experience in this area.

At what age do you claim women have no signs of aging but men do? Men do usually have more sun exposure, but you're deluding yourself again.

[Paulalove98]

@Avicenna what if someone has one or two kids because that's not a big deal.. My boyfriend doesn't mind I'm 24 and he's 20. What do you mean universe? Huh? Milf is literally trending and so well known especially on TikTok and real life lol wth.. you confuse me. For the record my sister found someone at 42 with 3 kids from a divorce and her boyfriend is 36 so he's also an older man and he could've chosen a younger woman but he picked her maybe because she has her shit together unlike some women whom are partiers and immature but hey if that's what some men like just going around and fucking girls who screwed the whole block, getting STDs, and their money taken them omg im laughing so hard lol then I guess that's a "their problem"😂 I'm not saying all younger women do that but times have changed unless they find a woman from China or something who wants to marry at 20. Maybe also some men prefer older women because they are more mature mentally than some 18 year old also outside of this platform nobody really cares about the group you're in. (Mgtow)

[Paulalove98]

It's also only a fact that the brain doesn't mature fully until the age of 25 but I'm not gonna waste my time trying to convince this close minded group (mgtow) that is SO STUPID and retarded asf and only exists certain places of the internet beside real life where people fall in love everyday regardless of how old someone is, have a family still, get married etc.

[Apple1996]

@Paulalove98 yeah exactly. I'm slightly older then my husband and he likes that about me since I always have things in order for our life like kids, house, bills, whatever else im on top of it.
He can't even stand looking at a younger woman cuz they are annoying to him and it's a instant turn off with the whole party and attention whore thing. Men want women who are put together and not immature

[Apple1996]

@Paulalove98 I've realized that a lot of the men that think younger girl/old guy relationships are normal tend to have control issues or are living out a youth they never got to have.
There are a bunch of 50+ year old men thinking teen porn is acceptable cuz they themselves are living out a youth they never got. It's disgusting and sad at the same time. I feel a little bad for guys that think it's the norm

[Paulalove98]

@Apple1996 you nailed it for reals. I think if anyone's living a fantasy, it's them and they can't even use the come back that we're saying this because we're old or something when we're both still in our 20s but STILL reality is men can fall in love if they really are into that woman whether she's 20 or 32 regardless if he's a mature man and isn't so close minded on this age thing and not some creep who only wants a naive, gullible 18 year old. I'm not saying all 18 or 20 year olds are immature once again but rarely when would you hear about an authentic love story or connection with a girl who's that young with an old man? Exactly! That's also lovely with you and your husband! At least you have a man with class.

[Paulalove98]

@Apple1996 those men are also delusional because even in the porn categories majority of the women aren't even 18-19, their actually in their 20s even mid or late 20s just age playing an adult teen girl. Omg I'm done lmao this shit Is funny as hell with whatever world these men are living in. Ehhh I don't feel bad for them because their sickos and need to seek help, their old enough to know what their doing and what's going on.

[Apple1996]

@Paulalove98 yeah I've had this fight with both of these guys before. Like I'm not against age gaps if the couple is seriously in love but that is rare. The ones doing it to live out their youth are creepy.

[Avicenna]

You two are hilarious. No one is suggesting the two of you are „old“. But that’s just another one of your delusions. You also apparently spend a lot of time watching porn and think everyone else is as deluded by it.

The reason why some guys are with single moms is that they would have no one if they didn‘t, not because they prefer them. And it doesn’t matter how much the single mom thinks she has her shit together, it’s much easier and better to date a woman without kids.

[Avicenna]

And thanks for the laugh about MGTOW. Your immaturity is showing. No wonder you have to be with someone who’s 20.

[Paulalove98]

@Avicenna my boyfriend said he'd rather be with me any day than a woman his age and OH by the way he I 20 also and younger than me. I guess about the single moms thing it kind of make sense but my friend is 25 and dating a guy who's 21 after a divorce with two kids.

[Paulalove98]

*He is 20

[Avicenna]

@Paulalove98: The age difference between you snd your boyfriend is not significant and it’s not unusual for a guy his age to prefer slightly older women. You are in a very different situation than a 40 year old with kids.

As for your friend, no 21 year old guy should be dating a woman with kids. I never would have. But that’s who he could get.

[Apple1996]

@Avicenna when I'm 40 my kids will all be adults or older teens so if I was to be single at that time I'd be a empty nesters and my kids wouldn't be a issue.
Also most guys don't mind being step dads. It's very weird of you to say that 21 year old shouldn't be dating a woman with kids since that's been normalized for the past like 30+ years to be a step parent

[Paulalove98]

@Apple1996 I blocked him because I was literally just done. My friend is near your age since she’s 25 and literally happy as can be with her new boyfriend despite him being 21 years old. He’s aware of the situation and doesn’t care. I’m 24 and no kids yet for my boyfriend and I but my boyfriend at 20 has no issue with me being older either. I feel like this guy is just a miserable fuck and got rejected so much, he is mad that women have it better than him lol.

[Paulalove98]

@Apple1996 I still think he and his group can shove their beliefs up their asses, and they can report this too if they want, my last worry is if this account gets deleted, this is simply just an opinion site and honestly their beliefs and retarded group doesn’t exist ANYWHERE else like we’ve both stated😂

[Avicenna]

I wouldn’t say that’s normal, and it certainly isn’t for 21 year olds. Most guys do not want to be stepdads. If you think otherwise, you’re sadly mistaken.

You won’t be an empty nester at 40, and there’s a very good chance that some of your kids will be at least partially dependent on you even after they turn 18. if you’re still together with your husband, obviously there’s no issue.

[Apple1996]

@Avicenna in my 40s I will definitely be a empty nester. Not gonna allow my kids to live with me in their late 20s. They can live in my backyard if that's the case. 😂

And I know many guys that are step dads and under 30 so to me it's normal since it's something I constantly see irl

[Apple1996]

@Paulalove98 I don't blame you lol. I try to be nice and not block but something it's hard not to

[Manab]

What if guy was getting higher education. Medical degrees or PhD takes years and getting a proper job in those carriers take years. Most women don't wanna date guys without stable jobs or without some wealth , car or any property. Most don't like guys while they are still students for a long time. Meanwhile girls in those same field can get plenty of men , who are well established or earning from young ages. They date those men. I have known and seen friends dating men way above them and older as those guys were rich. Even the average to ugly women don't wanna date men who are broke but studying. It's only fare to date younger women when you start earning.

[Apple1996]

@Manab jobs like that usually mean the guy is gonna be working a lot so hard to date even after they are graduated. Most girls don't wanna waste their time on that. Like my husband started working at 19 and will be able to retire at 39 so it just makes sense for women that especially want to be stay at home moms go get with a guy while everyone is young they can start a family young then live out older life together. Compared to being with a old guy that won't be around for a long time to live out that retired life together

[Avicenna]

I know you’re referring to military retirement, but I think you’ll find your husband will still be working long after he’s 39, especially with you having four kids. And it’s only because you’re in the military that you‘re able to afford having four kids. And what happens when he gets deployed to places you can’t join him?

It may work out the way you think, but it’s very unlikely.

[Avicenna]

And I’m pretty sure a medical doctor has more options than a guy who gets out after 20 as an E-6 or E-7.

[Apple1996]

@Avicenna my husband has been deployed 5 times and already has decent rank. He is trying to stay in more then 20 years but I think it'll come down to him making more money with being retired.

And we afforded having a kid even with him working at the grocery store so it's not really about how much money we have or where he works I'd still be having a bunch of kids.

[Apple1996]

@Avicenna and doctors are usually broke from schooling. Takes a long time to build back up. I use to think doctors were rich to till I talked to a couple. One nurse, one doctor and they worked at the same hospital and the nurse made more money/also had less debt then her husband

[Vegasrunner]

@Apple1996 Lol, you're kinda of just saying things out of enotion. Every miss America winner up to 2017 has been married so wtf are you talking about? Again men don't want to settle down, men want variety, I would know because besides from being a man, I have 100's of other friends that are men. Marriage is a female metric, and you're simply having a difficult time accepting that what you want isn't what men want because of your personal insecurities.

[Vegasrunner]

@Avicenna in my opinion most women are very delusiomal about this topic and I believe I have enough data to back it up. I've been w/ over 250 of my own and in my time as a vegas vip host I would have access to thousands of women a week. The #1 thing that women were afraid of was being forved to wait in GA because they were two old. Women that were 28-32 would be so desperate to prove they can still get VIP access that they would do literally anything for it. I actually dont believe this is a debatable topic because any man w/ a choice between a 34 yr old and a 24 yr old is going to choose the later assuming all other things are equal. What you have to understand is why women are so bitter about this fact, and its because its a constant reminder of the fading value of their beauty.

[Apple1996]

@Vegasrunner depends on the man. My husband said he started looking for a wife at 12. Variety isn't something he wants. Even all 3 of his brothers settled down and got married young cuz that's what they dreamed of. Some men especially ones that come from stable families want marriage/kids/family life.
And I don't have any insecurities about this. I'm already married and not old either

[Apple1996]

@Vegasrunner also you know way to much about miss America. Very odd 🤔
I was more saying models/beauty queens/actors in general are single or settle at a older age then they would have if they weren't busy working

[Apple1996]

@Vegasrunner as a bisexual woman I can tell you that 24 vs 34 I'd def be going for the older woman cuz I've seen way hotter 30 year olds then 20 year olds. Most 20 year olds still haven't found their sense of style and confidence yet which usually leads to them looking a little awkward.

[Vegasrunner]

@Apple1996 I agree w/ you 100% it depends on the man. That's why the top 20% of men get 90% of the women because the other 80% does things like looking for a wife at age 12 which is really creepy. He doesn't want variety because he kmow that he can't get it so he settles for what he can get. Most men are like that in my opinion which is why it is easier for guys like myself to have a variety of women. TBH any teenage boy that gets around other teenage boys talking about how he wants marriage and family one day is a loser, and would probably be laughed out of the circle. Again like most women you're struggling to apply female metrics of success to males while basing it off of only your personal experience.

[Vegasrunner]

@Apple1996 I simply report the facts and you were factually wrong as you are w/ your statement about beauty queens and actresses. Most attractive women get married at some point in their life so you're making yourself seem disingenuous denying this fact. Just learn to admit u were wrong and move on.

[Vegasrunner]

@Apple1996 I don't disagree w/ that. I personally prefer woman around 29- 33 because they're typically better sexually. The difference is I don't allow my personal beliefs to skew the facts and the fact is most men want younger woman around age 18-24. You're kinda proving my point bevause as a bi women you're looking for similar traits in women that women look for in men which is why it's much easier for older men to get women than younger men.

[Apple1996]

@Vegasrunner I was in a all male friend group in high-school about 20-30 guys. They literally all wanted kids and a wife. It's definitely a thing in the south and Midwest for men to want marriage. They benefit most from marriage so it'd be really stupid for a man not to want it.

[Apple1996]

@Vegasrunner unfortunately you are the one who is wrong about this stuff. You think just cuz you want variety that all men want that. Which is soo false 🙄

[Apple1996]

@Vegasrunner 18-24 women aren't even developed yet. Those men are just pedophiles lol

[Vegasrunner]

@Apple1996 They have to tell you that because they don't want to deal w/ the behavior that you are demonstrating currently. The fact that you were friends w/ all guys only proves that even women don't like being friends w/ other women so why would you believe guys would w/out altereior motives. I grew up in Indiana left when I was 16 and still own property there today. Men are pretty similar the world over. If men wanted marriage so much why are you the one telling me?

[Vegasrunner]

@Apple1996 That is a belief you are welcome to hold however there is no evidence to support that. Nearly every man that has options has exercised them throughout the history of the world. If what you were saying is true name one famous, HV fairhful man in the history of the world? You want to believe these guys you know are HV because it's easier than admitting to yourself you associate w/ basic guys that can't get women.

[Vegasrunner]

@Apple1996 That's an opinion that you are welcome to hold, however if men dating younger issue wasn't prevalent then why would you care?

[Apple1996]

@Vegasrunner all the men that want marriage are busy out there trying to find a wife. Not on websites like this. They aren't gonna be here to tell you. Gag only draws in certain people

[Apple1996]

@Vegasrunner I care cuz it's literally harming women. Did you not read my original comment here? So many women have been speaking out about how they were groomed at those ages by older men

[Vegasrunner]

@Apple1996 Lol, so that means that all the women who have committed men aren't going to be on GAG? Why are you on here then?

[Vegasrunner]

@Apple1996 If women weren't attracted to older men you wouldn't have to worry about older men grooming younger women. So are you saying that adult women aren't able to think for themselves? Sounds like another example of women being unable to take responsibilities for their actions.

[Apple1996]

@Vegasrunner taken women are online a lot. Not just gag but all other social media sites.
And no 18-24 still aren't fully mature yet so they make bad decisions like easily fall for a man that's grooming them and not realize it

[Vegasrunner]

@Apple1996 TY this is the perfect example of female delusion. If a man is online he's single but if a woman I'd online she's taken. That's a pretty foolish statement that is created by you to justify hearing information you don't like. By that logic only people that share your POV would be allowed online and it allows you to dismiss others if they don't think like you. Also science and government disagree w/ you. Woman mature faster than men and all states have 18 as the legal age of consent. Sounds like you're looking to take accountability away from women to help make yourself feel better. Also whether you believe they are "groomed" or not is irrelevant to the fact that more women prefer older men than men preferring older women. Men value youth and beauty and it seems illogical for anyone to try to argue that as you have highlighted.

[Avicenna]

In the real world outside of GAG no one is obsessed with this. And unless fathers or older male relatives are making young women get into relationships with much older men (something that generally doesn’t happen in Western countries), I don’t see how you can call a man dating a much younger woman „patriarchal“. Not is it encouraged.

i very much doubt you’d fume over men dating much older women. At the end of the day, what consenting adults do or who they date is their business.

[sassy_receptor]

that first sentence is facts. guys here are not in touch with the real world.

[Anonymous]

To the women reading this get something through your head. Modern day feminism is toxic, and todays era has taught men to be less masculine. Being masculine doesn’t mean being mean. If a woman wants to be feminine should I call her a bitch? This is the stupid, idiotic statements I see and read almost everyday. Third wave feminism basically has 3 points — 1) your career will make you happy, 2) don’t get married, 3) kids are a waste to have. More and more women who are in the thick of this feminist extremism in their 30s refuse to date or get married, not all but there women who feel this way. Therefore, if a guy is 20 years older then a girl is it ideal, no? But if he’s healthy, vibrant and cares for her why does it matter. There are women like Britney Spears who is married to a young Iranian model guy who is 12 years younger than her. Women are cool with that and that’s hypocrisy at its finest. Some girl is going to read this and give my comment one of these emojis 🫤 to dislike my comment. All it shows me is when it comes to age gap girls and women will say if a man does it it’s creeeeeepyyy. If a woman does it, you go girl! Such a cougar 😛. I’m in my 30s, I don’t care if I find someone 10 years younger then me. I believe in heaven and I believe in the afterlife that everyone who goes to heaven living an obedient life to God and a good citizen to others after they depart this world will be reunited with their significant other AT THE SAME AGE (early 30s), that is true love, that is forever love. I will live and die with those morals.

[Opinion Owner]

To the 3 people who disliked my comment, im sure it's girls who are cool with women dating younger guys and get a free pass... hahhahaa yaaaaa fuck you. I'm not going to be a bitch ass spineless simp and listen to that distorted feminist extremist bullshit, one day, feminist extremism will be a lost ideology shoved down the sewer where it belongs.

[Opinion Owner]

To the poster - why do you care? You're not helping those couples financially or emotionally... so mind your business. Pierre Trudeau the former prime minister of Canada from the 1970s/80s married his wife Margaret. Pierre Trudeau had his son Justin Trudeau (current PM) when he was in his 50s and she was in her late 20s. I don't care what women say these days. When I meet that special gal one day, her opinion will matter the most not the opinions females on social media or GAG or even dating back to the days in the late 2000s when I used Yahoo Answers and females gave awful advice.

[inhua]

nobody is encouraging any form of relationships much less age gap relationships. gay and interracial relationships and get promoted far more than age gap relationships.

while we're on the topic of "patriarchy", women are responsible for upholding the "patriarchy", not men. women have historically selected for men who are taller, stronger, more confident, more competent, more wealthy etc. and the phrase "men need to do better" is often thrown around so what do you think happens when men do become better? yeah men end up on top because women want men to better than them.

even then, not every man ends up on top though. CEOs, celebs, millionaires etc are still far outnumbered by men who working low paying jobs, men who are broke, homeless, in prison, living off govt paychecks etc. so really there's not much of a patriarchy.

[ShellyB]

I don't know if people really encourage it that much in general? I would say, any two adult people who want to be together should be together, I can give my opinion about what is "normal" or "weird" but it is up to them really. As far as why younger women might like older guys, I think a lot of times they just understand people and understand things better and know how to communicate better than younger guys (this is not 100% just on average). I am engaged to a guy close to my age and it is great but if I was single, I would be open to dating an older guy for the reasons I gave, I talk w older guys sometimes in bars while hanging out with my girlfriends and they are interesting and really good at talking w people.

[Qdbrown]

You don't just wake up in the 21st Century and expect human evolution to adapt to creepy feminist doctrine.

Women have an expiration date. Most older men do not want an expired woman. Sometimes an older woman can keep her looks, past 40, sometimes into 50's, but if the guy is single, the girls still look better in their 20's and early 30's.

Guys put a high emphasis on looks. and it's hardwired in our brains. Some guys can condition themselves to ignore the age problem. Most of these guys have low self-esteem. Most of these guys are not actually fullfilled in these arrangements.

Ideally a man and woman find each other young, fall in love, and they stick together for life. But due to feminism, and encouraging women not to find the best guy while she is young, these women become damaged, and she is not taken seriously as she ages, unless she can find a simp to deal with, thereby lowerinf her standards.

[TheorionMage]

Frank Lloyd Wright: "Form follows Function".
Feminine youth is rooted in merchandizing HER fertility and nurturing.

Male social function is to to defend her fidelity and provide fiscal & physical resources
for HER offspring and herself's maintenance & inheritance.

YOUNG males tend to be generally impoverished and covet 'hook-up's where they
sew their genetic seed and move on to 'hit & run' that's 'why' they're so intuitively
resistant to wear condoms.

Ask yourself HOW MUCH MORE randy as a female
YOU would be... if pregnancy and STD's were no longer an issue?

[mstbooblover]

Don't be mistaken. In more primitive circumstances an older male has proven his ability to survive, which is a precious feature for a female willing to create a family. There is no reason for this instinct to just disappear because our societies seem to have evolved.

There is also the plain fact that an older man can often still procreate, while the women's cycle stops earlier.

All this being said, just do as you all feel like, although we all have inherited of the features having allowed our species to survive ;0)

[Rockstarrrrr]

It's not really patriarchal... It's just about social constructs, you know... For example : the older person is usually the one leading the relationship so when it's the woman, it's unusual... and women age faster than men, so people assume he's going to leave her sooner or later and that's usually the case... Plus as a man you naturally fit the " guardian " role, so it's very normal for the man to be older and wiser and more experienced... On the other side... There's this weird freudian stigma around any relations between an older woman and a younger guy... People look at it as creepy and unhealthy.. Different...

[ObscuredBeyond]

Money talks. The situation you describe begets stability more often, statistically speaking. No one pushes women into this harder than their OWN MOTHERS! That's HARDLY "patriarchal"!

If you think she's a gold digger, look at her mother for answers. Especially if she's useless, and he's clearly a simp.

Is her mother single? Tattoos everywhere? Newports everywhere? Missing teeth? Works at a gas station? Has a picture on Mugshots. com? The younger gal is going to go for much older men. It's basic psychology.

Because if she can't get a much older man, she'll be resorting to Western Union scams, like the absolute dredges of society.

[Asker]

Hmm, my mom never did this. In fact she discouraged it. Maybe you are talking about other people, not mothers. I would NEVER encrouage my daughter to be with a Dirty Old Man that's gross! If she is why them, then she probably has daddy issues lol. What could she possibly have in common with someone 20 to 30 years older than her? Even more than 10 is pushing it in my opinion!

[ObscuredBeyond]

The things I've seen in Florida. The horror stories I've heard from Indiana. Joe Dirt wasn't supposed to be a documentary.

[EricJonesAB]

I think as long as people have the freedom to choose who they date you're always going to see all kinds of adults dating each other. No particular paring should necessarily be encouraged over others, but discouraging them from being together could also be considered wrong because there's no law against it, and it's their right to be together if they choose.

[raven6933]

Patriarch has nothing to do with age. It has to do with the value system that some have. I. E Native Americans have a patriarch society which means they value women to a higher degree. They know women are the essence of everything. Some other cultures act similar but Europeans definitely not unless you're the crowned queen or king. Everyone should try valuing everyone like that while not using a false narrative to obtain what they want.

[Paulalove98]

I don't know I guess cause that's more common. I'm older than my boyfriend by 4 years since he's 20 I know many people who don't like men much older and prefer the opposite or their age. I guess people just like to fetishize it? I don't judge but just saying.

[Vikkrram]

See no one is forcing anyone to be wid an older men , people are just ok wid that relationship coz you know technically men are always older to women in marriages , and hence are liable for taking care of their families and their better half.

But no one is saying that you can't have older women or you can't have same age relation.

[Anonymous]

Of course this post is coming from a women in her late twenties and perhaps an entitled feminist.

Women only engage in war with patriarchy when it doesn't benefit them. Women love guys paying for the dates and mostly never see them again otherwise, men has to initiate from asking and carrying out the relationships. Young women in their 20's are allowed to date and have fun with only rich and older guys and bad boys. But as soon as older men prefers an younger girl , older women start blaming all men. Stop shitting on men for their choice and perhaps date a younger guy.

[WhitneySnow]

Nothing wrong with an older woman dating a younger guy as long as it’s legal in their state (although after a certain point people are gonna look at you weird but they do that with really old men and young girls like in that pic too)

[TheNameIsRob]

I’m not into the big age gap thing, but your focus on patriarchal values is honestly more disturbing. It seems like many just repeat what they hear and don’t understand why they’re even saying it. Don’t forget to get out there and build some skyscrapers and lay some bricks, you know, if you want to tear down the patriarchy.

[Jamie05rhs]

I agree. Though I think this happens naturally within hypergamous societies. It's not something I really agree with or support, but I also don't think it's necessarily immoral. I suppose certain people just want those types of relationships; so whatever makes them happy.

[Price511]

A lot of people? Where I’m from this is the exception, not the norm. At best, it’s frowned upon. Nobody likes relationships where there’s a huge age gap, no matter what gender.

[Anonymous]

It's not patriarchal. It's nature. A lot of women are naturally attracted to older men, and men are naturally attracted to women who are in their prime child bearing years.

Calling mother nature patriarchal just underscores the absurdity of the concept of "patriarchy".

[FilmGuy93]

They don't. The WIDE consensus is that relationships with a large gap are creepy as hell. And the only people who think younger women dating much older guys is a good idea are the sugarbabies.

[SoftCliff]

Exactly. Outside Gag, relationships with a large age gap are frowned upon...

[sassy_receptor]

finally a man with some common sense. thank you.