The other day, my boyfriend and I were having dinner. We were talking about our health and etc. I mentioned to him that I wanted to take a break from birth control pills, and asked him if he is willing to take a vasectomy? Since none of us don't want any children (boyfriend is 8 years older and has a daughter, she's in her mid 20s). He refused to get a vasectomy, I asked him why? He said "why would I want to get my balls chopped off?" I told him that his balls are not going to get chopped off. It's a small procedure where he won't be producing. He still says no, I explained to him even though we are using protection, and on top of that I'm on birth control just to prevent pregnancy. I just need a break from taking pills. He said to me " You can stop taking the birth control, and we can still do it with PRECAUTION." I looked at him and said "No thanks. No babies for me."
I do understand why he refuses to get a vasectomy, I was just thinking it doesn't hurt to ask and suggest that he would but I don't think he would understand on my situation. I'm the person would ask once and don't ask again. Should I take a break and take the risk of doing it with precaution? OR continue using birth control?
You're 💯% entitled to go off birth control and give your body a break from the hormones being pumped into your body. Seems to me that even though your boyfriend doesn't want anymore children, he isn't wanting to take responsibility for birth control thereafter.
Most vasectomies can be reversed. However, this doesn't guarantee success in conceiving a child. Vasectomy reversal can be attempted even if several years have passed since the original vasectomy — but the longer it has been, the less likely it is that the reversal will work.
Do you feel that you may need to rethink your relationship with him?
No, I don't feel the need of rethinking my relationship. The both of us are not planning to have a child. I just wanted to take a break from taking too many medications and birth control is one of them. It's a discussion that him and I talked about.
He does, and he is aware of it. That's why I told him I wanted to take a break from birth control. We still have safe sex and me on birth control on top of that. That's why he said I can take a break and still continue safe sex with precaution.
That's what I thought too! Because the beginning of our relationship, I did ask him. I said to him "I know u already have a daughter and she is grown, would u want anymore kids or are u done? He said he is done. Then I asked him "is that ur final answer?" The reason why I asked him thay because I wasn't planning to have children anytime soon or at all. I just wanted to know what i digned up for in a relationship. If my partner decided and wanted to have one with me, we can discuss about it. It takes. two. to tango in order to make a baby but raising one, it needs team work.
@suzzieQ I understand u have very strong opinion on this. @egale1951 made his point by stating his opinion and his thinking very similar to mine on what my boyfriend is thinking. Yeah, I will continue using birthcontrol just to prevent it, I'm just debating it wanted to take a break, and again like I comment on your opinion. The willingness of taking the risk.
Is there a reason you don't want to take the pills? Such as not having to take one every day, or do you just not like the hormones. There are other things you can try for instance if you want to take someone Estrogen free maybe you could try to the Deppo Provera shots, or the Nexplanon implant, or if it's just an issue of not wanting to take something everyday there are the patches. If you did do cycle tracking which can be unrealiable for some women with irregular periods I would recommend using even a back up like a condom, sponge, spermacide or a diaphram with spermacide.
If you want to stop the pill then just look at the other options, the pill is not the only option actually, that’s only what teenage girls were told at some point, using the fear of pregnancy ofc, a women can only be pregnant 5 days in her ~30 days cycle so a much more natural approach is possible… ofc if you take a sample of 1000 woman you will always find a few with ovulation early on in the cycle etc but what matters is when YOU ovulate and you can track that now basically with your body temperature
I understand it's his call on his body, and mine on my body. We are already using protection and I'm on birthcontrol on top of that protection. I just wanted to know if he is willingly to do a vasectomy since he doesn't want any more children. Again, it was a discussion that we had. I mentioned to him that I wanted to take a break on birthcontrol and that is why he said that I can take a break from birthcontrol and we can do it with precaution. Meaning we can still do it with a condom but no birthcontrol.
Well, you certainly seem like a logical gal... 😂 I think it just comes down to him being apprehensive about getting the minor operation. It makes sense for him to go on and get it especially since you are both in agreement over not having kids.
It is often irreversible for the man and it sometimes diminishes his performance too.
My grandma convinced my step-grandpa to get a vasectomy and then later left him because she was bored. He was never able to have kids in the future when he got remarried because it permanently damaged him. It is more harmful top the man.
It's something for my boyfriend and I talk about. I just wanted to take a break on medication. We are already having safe sex, and I'm on birth control on top of that. I just wanted to take a break from it birthcontrol. Which he is aware of it but it is something we discussed about.
Just dont have sex with him unless he is willing to use a condom. Birth control has tons of negative side effects that could kill you... prioritize your health and dont have sex without protection.
Of what you could do is take a break from your birth control, and tell him that you dont feel comfortable taking unnecessary pregnancy risks and will not be having intercourse unless he gets a vasectomy or until you chose to get back onto birth control. He seems incredibly selfish to not get a simple out patient procedure that takes less than an hour, is more effective than any other birth control method and that is reversible...
oh okay then I would tell him that unless he gets sniped, you won't be having sex until you decide to get back on birth control. If he wants to know why, read him all the side effect that come with hormonal birth control including the bits about blood clots, heart attacks, strokes, and cancer.
The guy is 44, I'm 36, I'm pretty sure he knows. We are in a healthy relationship, we discuss things over. I'm not making a big deal about it. It's just a suggestion for him and I'm debating if I wanted to take the risk of taking a break from birth control and do it with precaution.
Well if You are determined you don’t want any kids 0% chance in your life of any circumstances - only 100% way is for you to get tubal ligation aka get your tubes tied.
A tubal litigation is an extremely invasive procedure that is more complicated, with higher risks and is not reversable. While a vasectomy is an out patient procedure that takes less than 30 minuets and is reversable
Thought about that but if my long term partner decides to have one. At least we can discuss it first and plan to have one. Other than that no. Don't get me wrong. I love children, I just don't think it's for me 🤷🏻♀️ in today's society, everything is going backwards. I just don't want to bring a child into the world with so many problems. Plus, it takes about 2 household incomes or a little more to raise one. AND I love my sleep and my boyfriend's attention on me. Lol Talking to him openly and discussing the BIG issues first in the relationship will give us the idea on what we should do next in the relationship. Gotta know what u signed up for in the relationship. My boyfriend is very sweet and silly guy. He supports whatever the decisions I make. 🥰
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