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I’d like to say there’s three aspects to this. (It’s just what I’d like to say, and I believe to be true. Others can disagree and see differently on this).
You can either:
growing apart can take many forms and be the worst.
Can be: both hiding their feelings, complex or not, and can be them both eventually having their affairs.👐
Can be: those who stay together, grow cold, and don’t challenge each other to reach their goals, or believe and support them in their goals.
*Growing together* can be growing with the same interests, even at the same rate, possibly. Both excelling. Maybe both are in the same line of work and at the least, *similar* phases/stages in life.
While growing along side of each other, is both having different hobbies and such, but ALWAYS reuniting with the same zeal; it’s making time, being in the similar phases in life, just not always together 24/7.
The athlete can support his politically motivated wife, and help her hand out business cards, and the justice upholder can support her Olympic extraordinaire husband, and attend his every game. Their worlds are different, but very close to each other, and they will always make time for the one they care about and simply understand when things call them elsewhere. They keep a fine paralleled balance. 🙏 (Their occupations just examples ofc).
Growing apart is when no support is shown, no efforts are made, to meet/ see/ touch each other. Always missing each other,
Or
grudgingly, holding bitter and resentment, towards the other.
Growing apart is the saddest to feel, at first. When it’s recognized. The saddest to behold, but at least it seems fairer to the two, as it slowly rips a band aid off, and let’s them go their separate ways mutually, other than one deciding to just abruptly “end it.”
Very sad, yes.
But growing alongside each other ☝️ and growing together… those are the most beautiful things to be seen and experienced. Like the beauty of the first sliver of sun, coming up just over the horizon, like an absolute blistering diamond.
The feeling, as if the world is as it should be, and you’re with the person that makes every day feel like a party or concert, to the song by daft punk- Get lucky.
Sunrise and Sunset. 🌅 They’re always gonna be there for you, and they’re always going to have high chances and make serious efforts to understand you.
I think it’s more if you don’t communicate you will grow apart. People can have different interests that occupy large amounts of their time, but the partners have to be kept in the loop. Interest shown to share the enjoyment. Explain how it makes them feel. A reason for why. And then it’s okay. As long as you are transparent and still have spark you’re good.
My Grandfather said, “be sorry about your tone, pitch, and nonverbal even if you’re are right. People are right…people are wrong…you’re not going to make it to 55 if she is not your friend.”
My time in Asia and its’ culture taught me Communal where “you take on the world together not like you independent Americans who each go your own way.”
Combine the above two and faith, trust, and steadfastness bloom into a caring Respect. To do these things is to live a shared and planned sacrificial agape love.
Well I don't… I’m not cool like some people here who have a spouse to enjoy when things in interesting… or as you pout it to grow old with. But in principle I agree. You grow closer the longer you work together to grow closer. That being said though that there are couples that were meant to do life together and some that were meant to do life side by side though not really together.
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22Opinion
People grow but not always together this is why couples might not last til old age. They simply just aren't' the same person they were.
Emilia, I fee for the most part, you are correct, that you do tend to grow apart, in many respects. Example: my wife and I loved to dance together, and she was very athletic. We could have taken dance lessons and competed in Ballroom et cetera, but we did not. That would have given us a mutual point of interest to give us a mutual 'social goal' and social 'skill. That might have held us together.
Yes. That's not always a bad thing, if you only grow together it can be suffocating sometimes, but if you only grow apart then you can easily lose touch and start growing too far away. Ideally you want to grow together and apart, but not apart away, just apart up.
It’s a cutesy wootsy saying that means almost nothing like most cutesy wootsy sayings. A modicum of independence and alone time are absolutely necessary in every single healthy relationship. There IS such a thing as “growing too close”. “Codependency” is the technical term for it, and it’s absolutely disastrous 100% of the time.
Unfortunately that is true in most cases. Growing together means facing hard and rough times while relying on each other, sharing small and big moments of happiness, or just enjoying each others company. All these things build a strong bond that brings you closer every time and if you do not share these things, your bond will weaken and sometimes even break.
Is this a knock on people who didn’t grow? 🤨
I think adapting together is a key piece to being with someone for the long haul. It was impressive seeing my grandparents do it for 60+ years.
I think a relationship is always evolving as the partners change over time. If the relationship doesn't, it can lead to problems.
The last line of the last verse of this song sums up how I feel about this topic.
It starts at the 1:55 mark!
https://www.youtube.com/embed/iN5xA-Trtfo
Relationships ebb and flow. You don't have to cast them aside just because you're in a rough patch. Nobody seems to have any commitment these days, it's sad.
Growth is individual. If we don't accept each other's growth and adapt as we change, it'll create distance. The growth isn't what makes us grow apart, how we deal with growth is.
Yes, especially if you both started dating at a young age. People can change as years pass by. Their attitude and priorities change as well.
Not always, but you do need to make a conscious effort to take your partner’s needs and feelings into consideration.
It sounds true, but I'm the wrong person to ask. My relationships have all failed, including a marriage.
Not necessarily but the implications hurt, not gonna lie.
I hope I can grow old with my SO when I find one. Fingers crossed bc I’m annoying, he’s gonna have to be a strong one 😂
Yes, I do believe that is the alternative! I hope to find someone some day that I can grow old with. That picture is adorable. #lifegoals
To some degree yes. Not at all times but things getting stale leading to being unhappy and each others ideals change more drastically from that.
I want to grow old together not apart. But where is my princess with whom I want to grow old?
I believe no one will want to have this with me so I must grow up alone
I don't know😭😭
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