When people drift apart, can they ever get back together?

[Anonymous]

This guy and I really liked each other in high school... but then we went to college across the country from each other. We've definitely drifted apart, but I could see us spending a lot more time together if we were in the same city. Could we ever get close again?

Yes

No

Other, please explain!

[tehgargoth]

Ya, I always say long distance relationships don't work, but if two people get along, and you are living close.. I don't see anything wrong with it.. I have had friends who broke up before college and got married after graduation! IM(not so)HO Anything can happen, don't rule anything out but don't rely on it either.

[Asker]

lol yeah, we aren't looking to date now, but I mean, since college, we've grown apart, but we always had chemistry. He told me that he doesn't like me anymore... but, 2 months ago he sent me a love song about how he wanted someone like me to date and then when I asked him if he liked me he said he hasn't for many months and that the love faded and won't be coming back. Not sure if that's just a statement of where he's at in life, or if that's permanent because we're far away or because he's really done.

[tehgargoth]

Well what I think is that he's trying to get you to move on. And you should. I had a friend who sat and waited for "the love of her life" while he went to college and had girlfriend after girlfriend and she went into a depression. It's so sad.. she eventually met a guy she liked better :) All the time you spend on this guy is time you could be spending with someone you like better. I say stop even thinking about this guy and try and find someone new.

[Asker]

Oh, I've definitely met other guys lol. The last one didn't work out. I don't know why he doesn't think I'm trying for other relationships at the same time haha. He and I aren't dating so I'm not putting myself on hold by any means. So, by him saying I should move on... is that like a "he will never like me again" kind of thing?

[tehgargoth]

I think its more of a "At this time in my life I don't see any way that our lives are going to cross again" sort of thing. Which from my observations is usually how it goes. And it almost sounds to me like you also don't think your lives will ever cross again. So I am not really sure what you are trying to get out of querying him about it so much. I assure you there will be guy after guy after guy that is interested in you.. haha.. such is life. why worry about this guy?

[Asker]

Oh, I feel like if he liked me right now it would be pretty hard to date unless he moved here (which he could do). I'm still in school, he's graduating. I think I worry about losing this one because he's pretty darn perfect and I like everything about him. I've tried dating other guys, but everything leads back to this one. Maybe I should just let this go til we are in the same city again?

[tehgargoth]

I've said it before and I'll say it again.. there are like 2 billion guys on this planet.. so finding a "1 in a million" guy still has pretty good odds. If he isn't interested anymore then you are only hurting yourself by worrying about it. Go find some guy that has all his good qualities plus some haha.. odds are in your favor.

[Asker]

hahaha idk, are they? I hope! what he doesn't share the same dreams as me? this guy totally did. maybe someone will roll over and let me live my life the way I want to. I want to move home and live in the city I was born and raised in. that limits a lot of guys haha

[ryanontario]

yes but some time has to actually pass , but sometimes people change and move on too keep that in mind

[Asker]

so it's kind of a 50/50 either way haha. can't prevent them from moving on can't expect them to wait?

[AltTech]

Yes. There is nothing wrong with keeping in touch through email and social networking either.

[Asker]

hmm yeah, I feel like he just stopped liking me because I wasn't around all the time, but that if I was around all the time he'd definitely feel differently. He told me that he doesn't like me anymore... but, 2 months ago he sent me a love song about how he wanted someone like me to date and then when I asked him if he liked me he said he hasn't for many months and that the love faded and won't be coming back.

[AltTech]

I probably wouldn't waste too much time on him then. Nothing wrong with casually keeping in touch, but definitely don't expect something will ever come of this if he's said things like that. There are too many other opportunities out there.

[Asker]

ah. that's sad. maybe we'll run into each other somewhere down the line. who knows. it's funny though, all of the other girls he likes are so much like me. the things he tells me about? exactly what he and I used to do.