Do you have trouble talking about how you feel and expressing yourself?

Question

Historically my own personal red flag 🚩 is that I never known how to talk about my feelings.

I talk to myself in my head a lot about how I feel and I explain it so well in my head. Getting it to actually out of my mouth is so hard.

Do you have trouble talking about how you feel and expressing yourself?

These days I am decently good at it, but it has taken along time and still is not easy.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

I have no problems expressing my feelings when I need to, but most of the time, my feelings are irrelevant to my problems (which are largely NOT related to relationships) - the problems must still be solved and "feeling" about them isn't going to do anything to solve them. Generally, when guys have problems (which is most of the time), we don't spend much time worrying about our feelings - we know that solving the problem will make the stress go away, so we focus on finding and implementing a solution, and any anguish or frustration we feel along the way, we just keep inside. When we solve the problem, those feelings dissipate on their own, and we don't have to worry about them anymore.

This doesn't work as well with relationships (i. e., with women - it mostly works fine with relationships with other men; business, friends, team mates, co-workers, etc.), and some men struggle to deal with their feelings verbally, because that's just not how other problems in our lives have ever been solved. I've never had huge problems myself, but of course I wasn't great at it as a teen, due to lack of experience, but a lot of guys really struggle, and well into adulthood.

In most (but not all) cases, it isn't because they don't care, it's just that it goes against everything the world has taught them, and everything they've ever done. It also doesn't help that some women will take what a man says when he opens up and use that against him the next time she's upset at him for some reason.

Either way, it's important to understand how differently men and women approach feelings, and what a different role they play in our lives. It's one of the biggest differences between men and women, and neither sex should expect the opposite sex to think and act as they do about their feelings.

ShadezMcgee · Accepted Answer

I definitely do. That is one reason I speak on these forums because I can vent and say what I want to say that is bothering me.

The biggest issue I have in real life about voicing things I want to say is reservations on how those that know me may react. I hold my tongue probably more than I should and I am fearful of those that I care about growing to hate or resent me for saying what I really want to say. It sucks because I know I am doing myself a disservice by not saying what I want to, but I am also a coward because I am afraid people will be surprised of what I have to say because they already have a formed perception of me and if I don't align with what they think, they won't like what they see.

7Phoenix7 · Accepted Answer

Honestly, I used to have a hard time expressing myself. I'm known as the kind, sweet girl that you can vent to and I'll listen and give you advice or... Or just listen if that's what you prefer. But I always censor my own words or keep stuff to myself when I'm upset or hurt most of the time. Because I'm afraid of hurting someone's feelings or shocking somebody because they thought I was too nice to think such a thought lol

It probably stems from my childhood when I'd surprise my mom with my feelings about something. Her reactions to me expressing myself sometimes made me feel like I wasn't normal or I was bad for thinking a certain way.

LittleMelissa9614 · Accepted Answer

Sometimes. It depends who I'm talking to about my feelings and see if they would understand me. I'm going through a rough break up right now and I've only talked to my friends and family about what happened, what's been going on and how I've been feeling. I'm the one who had to end it even though I never wanted to end it, but it had to be done because I noticed he changed and his mental health isn't so good. But hey, I have friends and family members who I can talk to about my feelings and if I ever have a sad moment.

Guy13 · Answer

I can’t express my feelings, so what’s the Fix? I’ll be glad to have sex you in serious relationship 🎉 without all emotional garbage 🎉. We have enough to talk about without hashing out the past and how we became who we are at this moment. This is great but not does it ever works out. Take your post, print, and staple.-

Even better, open a word file and retype your experiences and feelings with Posts…. that you know must be shared. Read it to him/her…word for word.

That would be it for me…I couldn’t even look at another woman with the do the right and hard thing, depth, and Risk for my or our behalf. That’s me though 🤷🏻‍♂️

coachTanthony · Answer

It can sometimes be difficult depending on who you are expressing it to. Most times though I am good to go. Good question.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I have no issues talking about that kind of stuff I just don’t do it with most people except a handful.

And I’ve been more or less the unofficial breadwinner of my family for a while now due to our situation.

Which requires a financial sacrifice on my end but also an emotional one.

i can’t really afford to be seen as angry, frustrated, troubled or stressed among other things at the moment. So I have to suppress it, hide it and deal with it at a later time once we’re stable and secure finically. And appear stoic, calm/collected and with a plan in hand.

lightbulb27 · Answer

times better than others. takes conscious work to be connected to feelings. I find when I practice "feeling" and expression, it's easier.

a lot of our society disconnecting from our senses... e. g. read terrible story... flip page... to next terrible story. not good

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

Darn it, I hit the wrong button! I meant to hit “A” “yes I do” (have difficulty discussing my feelings). As we share a common history, I feel that we likely both have difficulty discussing our feelings for similar reasons. I somehow don’t have much difficulty here online, but that’s b/c of the limited anonymity our usernames afford us. But in person, I have GREAT difficulty expressing my feelings adequately. But I’m working on it.

MCheetah · Answer

Anyone who's read anything I've written on GAG knows that is definitely  not  the case for me. I guess 14 years straight of professional therapy one or more times every single week, will turn a person into an open book, huh?

Sailormoon95 · Answer

I do because I think it's a part of my race as I am Vietnamese interracial mostly Asians and as someone said on YouTube, Asians are more reserved. They tend not to express themselves too much, nor are they exactly outgoing. This is the reason why I go to therapy to help me interact and talk more to people.

TenderFantasy · Answer

No I don't. I'm lucky. I am tired of the bullshit of others so I either try to avoid it as best as possible or I try to confront them about it. Life's too short to have a lot of stress and hang ups!

Agape93 · Answer

Yeap. Most people don't care or don't want to listen, and when I do they usually don't understand or can't help anyways, so there isn't much point. Plus if I'm feeling particularly office can't describe it anyways.

Weapon77 · Answer

It's more that I have trouble knowing when I should express my feelings, and when I shouldn't. I had a rough childhood that inconsistently punished expression of feelings and rewarded bottling things up. It's lead to me often being quiet when I should express, and expressing more than I should or when I should not. Hard to learn the balance now

CA4444 · Answer

Yeah I struggle a lot I either say nothing or everything all at once, a few times I was even dissociating when saying stuff that was very personal/close to my heart it’s very weird & not easy

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

I’m very in touch with my feelings, but as a man i’m not permitted to express myself with just anyone. That’s my main concern, but it’s a major problem. I don’t expect that to change in my lifetime.

exitseven · Answer

This was a big problem when I was younger. I was so shy around girls I never could admit how I felt. I lost out on a few opportunities because of it. I still suffer from this somewhat.

LovingJo · Answer

As a rule I don't, but when the anxiety becomes too much and the stress has taken over, my mind becomes very clouded, and I struggle to articulate how I feel, sometimes!! 💯❤️

SnowedIn · Answer

I selected B. I don't have a problem opening up and expressing once I've decided to trust that person.

ArtemisSilver · Answer

No, but I do have a problem with being to ready to help and sacrifice for others. I need to try hard not to be taken advantage of for my generous and loving nature.

Passing_by · Answer

Yes, plenty of times. It was worse before but I have gotten a bit better at it. I still am misunderstood many a times... quite surprising when people think that I'm very expressive but truly, I am not.

Twalli · Answer

I'm very in tune with my feelings, but making another person understand how I feel can take time. I don't exactly know how to explain it so we need to have a 5+ minute conversation to understand exactly what I'm feeling.

FreyaRed · Answer

Yes. I have to lie by such questions and lies make things always complicated in long run.

DarkCarousel · Answer

Oh gosh no. I have trouble with over expressing. I wear my heart on my sleeves.

sheikalana · Answer

I have trouble initiating those type of conversations but if someone asks me I'm honest about how I feel.

Guanfei · Answer

Everytime I tried talking about my feeling, either I got ignored, I was made strongly notice that it was annoying. So now I shut the fuck up and pretend.

Remember, people don't want to know how you feel, they ask you out of politeness, and expect you to say you're fine. They don't want to know that you don't feel good, they don't care.

MementoMori777 · Answer

I'm a dude, I'm suppose to suppress my emotions, you on the other hand, you should vent because it's normal and it's expected for you to do so and you shouldn't have trouble doing so, when I do vent it's my bros tho

NathanDavis · Answer

not at all, no... not since I started a gradual process of self-introspection and growth, which is something I started about 20 years ago maybe I had trouble with it 20 years ago, but not today...

Redstang88 · Answer

Yeah kinda, but for me I think it’s more of struggling to trust someone enough to open up and be honest about it

Havthrills · Answer

Sometimes I do because usually people don't listen. I just give up and think "what's the point if they're just ignored."

BarryLiverstone · Answer

I used to be much more closed off. Still working on it but if someone asks I can do a good job of sharing how I feel

LiamJHayden · Answer

I do. Not because I have trouble expressing myself, but because I suppress my feelings so I am usually not sure what they are.

krin_m · Answer

Most of the times I do not have any problems, but once in a while when my emotions are very raw, I find it difficult to express them.

TotallyAlmost · Answer

It's not my favorite thing to do. Just typing that hurt.

Charliefretz329 · Answer

Sometimes, it depends on the subject cause I don’t want to whine…

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

No, I just do it not the Filthy Casual way so one would probably assume I do

Guardian45 · Answer

I'm neurodivergent, so it can be difficult. I'm here if you need someone to listen.

roy_ricky09 · Answer

It's absolutely normal. Everyone has their own way to express. Words aren't always necessary.

therisingtidx · Answer

I am popular for not having a filter, when I talk.

Fuentes · Answer

I am a man and I will not speak about feelings, this is a female trait if you ask me lol

Labokachulaa · Answer

Yes I struggle with this sometimes too.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Nope. I speak my mind

MountAverage · Answer

No, I'm usually very good at it.

SpokenTruth · Answer

Yes I do and especially right now.

Cubus · Answer

Quite troubles

Rohaan2020 · Answer

happens wid me all the time

SayPrettyPlz · Answer

depends on the situation

KostasKouvalis · Answer

In real life, yes. Online, no

LavLavLuv · Answer

Sometimes.. yea

clubmanager · Answer

No, i am not a woman.

Gagname · Answer

No I do not…

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