Please why tell me?

[Raphtaila]

Why would he call me fat and ugly and dumbass and say he's kidding like it hurts my feelings why would he call other women cute when he has me why say he loves me but not what he loves about me

[DaveJord]

People who really do these types of things are usually doing them as a means to be little you, and in doing so bring more under their control. They are emotional manipulators, they accomplish this by conditioning you to accept their abuse, and in doing so they excerpt more control over you as an emotional manipulator.

15+ Signs of Emotion Manipulation (healthline. com)

www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/emotional-manipulation#joking

Read this artical... pay attention to the areas titled

They twist the facts

They make you feel sorry for voicing concerns

They diminish your problems and play up their own

They’re always “just joking” when they say something rude or mean

They don’t take accountability

They always one-up you

They’re always criticizing you

They use your insecurities against you

They use your feelings against you

They use guilt trips or ultimatums

They’re passive aggressive

They leave you questioning your own sanity

I did not list all 15... but sounds like you have an emotional manipulator on your hands. "Just Joking", Criticizing You, using your Insecurities against you, Using Guilt Trips, Passive Aggressive, and leaving you questioning your own sanity.

You look like a very attractive women, you do not need this asshole.

[SteveSmith1985]

There is a lot to unpack in what you just said. I would need to know more about your relationship and history to give any answer as to WHY. I am hoping it's because he has a little-boy sense of humor and doesn't know that he is hurting your feelings. But... he ought to know. He's not a little boy.

But this could also be something more serious. It depends on when/how often he calls you fat or ugly or dumbass. But this could definitely be an indicator of a more serious issue.

You are absolutely right. Loving you is not congruent with calling you fat or ugly. He should be telling you those things which he loves about you. He should be making you feel beautiful and wanted.

You definitely should talk to him. If you tell him it hurts your feelings. You can expect him to stop talking to you that way. If that's not something you feel comfortable doing OR if you have already done this, and nothing has changed... then you've got that more serious problem. If that's the case, I've got more to say to you. Feel free to DM me.

(by the way, you look great!) 🙂

[Aerissa_Jade]

Some people think there is no such thing as too skinny, even when ribs are very visible from someone that is way under weight, they'll say she is fat.

Him calling you fat and ugly, you can do better... dump him and find someone better.

[Daniela1982]

Maybe he just loves having sex. You can ignore a lot of flaws when you are having sex. This does not mean you have to put up with it. Just tell him how you feel and then illustrate it with some choice words.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yeah; throw him out like Jazz. Lol

[Jamie05rhs]

And wow- I didn't know John Hagee used that type of language.

[Daniela1982]

@Jamie05rhs John Hagee?

[Jamie05rhs]

@Daniela1982 The guy in the first gif. Lol

[Daniela1982]

@Jamie05rhs That was Penn Jillette of Penn and Teller.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Daniela1982 Oh. Lol

[Screenwriter]

You're with an abusive man, that's why. When people say mean and hurtful things, then "they're kidding," they're NOT kidding, but are trying to get away with denigrating you because there's something wrong with THEM.

He does not love you. You are his punching bag. For whatever reason, he cannot or will not say what he loves about you. I wouldn't hang around waiting for him to change. He won't. Talk to a counselor and get away from this abusive, messed up man.

There are many men out there who will acknowledge that you're attractive and treat you properly. You don't need a shitty person like him in your life. Good luck.

[D_Bone_Steak]

To be honest... I can't call you skinny. And sure I might hit it and quit it right now but my assumption about you is the weight is just going to get packed on with time... which puts you out of any long-term consideration.

I think your dude has already laid into the long-term role and trying to talk you out of... what I would say you are just going to become, most likely, over time.

I know plenty of men will simp out and just say you're not fat... but let's be real, you probably weigh more than them. And most likely the type of guy you wouldn't want anything to do with sexually.

I'd love for you to prove me wrong and post this as a 'before' picture and have the 'after' picture showing you go in a great direction. ... I doubt it though. My instant long-term consideration see's a double gut, back boobs, boobs that are like flappy ham bags, and so on.

[jshm2]

Stop wearing such boring colours, and try upgrade your wardrobe. You've got some good assets there, show them off better.

But you're probably better ditching your man for someone better, tbh.

[AmeerX]

You are not fat. You are on average side. And you should not think too much about it. Just try to love him. And ignore the other women. Stop comparing or you will keep comparing and someone better looking will always be there

[Thatbaldguy]

You're gorgeous. So huh. Your boyfriend is blind and such lol

[MementoMori777]

If that's how you feel then find happiness somewhere else and leave him

[misogynistic_pig]

It's a good manipulation method, it has a name but I don't remember what it's called.

[misogynistic_pig]

That doesn't mean you're not fat, you are.

[AmeerX]

She is not fat. Get your eyes checked

[misogynistic_pig]

Very fat.

[AmeerX]

Are you an idiot? She is practically normal sized woman. She has Broad shoulders and that's how girls are supposed to look like. Those Instagram bitches that you have become addicted to are not the average size of a girl.
And no I am not fat either if that's what you are thinking right now

[D_Bone_Steak]

@AmeerX She's fat bruah... you'd make a good wingman that takes out the fat chick that cock blocks.

[AmeerX]

@D_Bone_Steak no she isn't.
Let me show you what fat girl looks like.

www.google.com/search

[AmeerX]

If you call Raphtailia fat then I am sorry you're all with extremely high Instagram level deluded body images imprinted in your brains.

So, no she is not fat. You are all making it look like she is fat.

I think she used to be fat as she admitted but right now she is average

[D_Bone_Steak]

@AmeerX Okay, admitting she's average is viable because the way things are now this is basically average... or at least what average has become since I was her age. I don't like that you think we're all deluded by Instagram models, but it's sort of funny.

But a visit to the doctor, with a basic BMI test... you can't tell me she won't be classified as obese and probably given a speech about diabetes and high blood pressure. I'm not trying to be mean and no I'm not demented by Instagram models, it just is what it is. I mean be honest about that part. She might be your type or whatever, but a BMI test will place her in a category. I'll concede though that yes, she is average... in fact much better looking than most of the women where I'm currently living... that link you gave, that's what women look like here, and it's horrible. I really think something is in the water and can't wait to move out of here. I miss seeing eye candy.

[Anonymous]

Some people don't know the difference between honesty and outright rudeness. Dump his ass.

[Raphtaila]

The thought has crossed my mind a lot

[Jamie05rhs]

First of all, you're not fat.
Second of all, you're absolutely beautiful.
Thirdly, please dump him.

[Truthatanycost]

Vast numbers of women are attracted to highly toxic men as you probably already know.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Truthatanycost Sadly, yes.

[Tracker1958]

Sound like he wants you to leave. Why have you not already left him?

[Raphtaila]

I love him and support him i respect his career but im afraid he would miss the dog more than me

[Tracker1958]

It's not going to get better if you don't make a move. So you are dependent on him? Do you love his money or him? You mentioned his career not me.

[_Troian_]

You ain't overly fat but close to the line, just saying as a friend.. do a diet.

[Emanon25]

You’re so beautiful not ugly.

[Emanon25]

He doesn’t know anything about your beauty.

[Raphtaila]

Maybe so

[Emanon25]

For sure.

[In_Trance]

you don't look like your profile pic at all. how old of pic is it?

[Farmerboy2]

How many times you gonna ask this. He is an asshole that’s why.

[MCheetah]

I think you're just with the wrong man.

[Levin]

Hun, you need to kick his ass to the curb!

[Fleet7635]

You are gorgeous

[Fleet7635]

His decisions are mind boggling

[Anonymous]

Because you allow it.

[TheFlak38]

you're FAT!

[collie22]

Lose that guy