After months of trying to know her as a person, I asked her if she liked me. She rejected me and put me in the friendzone. I respected her decision and avoided her as much as possible.
The rejection broke my heart. I couldn't look her in the eyes, which was something I liked doing with her before the rejection. She, on the other hand, for reasons unknown, was more attentive to me. Every time I showed up at work unannounced, she tried to insert herself into conversations she was not a part of. She would often answer questions I asked of someone. I ignored her all throughout this event. I was depressed.
I wanted to start my healing process, so I changed my schedule so I wouldn't get to see her anymore. After two weeks, I discovered that she had taken a leave of absence due to "school", to which I don't believe at all. After months of not seeing her, I realized that perhaps I was a bit harsh on her. A female friend of mine later told me that girls hate it when they are ignored.
Now she is back at work. I tried to be professional around her, but I sensed tension between us. I realized that I really care about her even though she wasn't really interested in me. So, I decided to text her and apologize for ignoring her. And that I want to see her and offer my apology face-to-face outside of work. She was receptive but mentioned that she is in a relationship and offered friendship again. Now I'm apologizing not because I wanted to change her mind or as some sort of manipulative trick. Still, it made me sad to hear her say that she is in a relationship because when I asked her out, she said she had just gotten out of a long relationship and wasn't ready. It was just another proof that whatever she wants I don't have it. In any case, I want to end my "relationship" with her on a positive note. I'm leaving work (not because of her) and I really don't want her to think that I'm an asshole. Should I explain to her my feelings and why I ignored her or just simply apologize?
What Girls Said
To me it’s strange that when she rejected you, she started to be more attractive towards you. As I had some painful experience with a manipulative man, to me it looks like she wanted to have your admiration and tried to hoover you back in liking her, tho she doesn’t need you in her life anyway.
For example, how decent girl would act in this situation: she offered you friendship, she perfectly understands it hurts you and you need awhile to cope with rejection. She shall back off and don’t play with you emotional games like “oh, you’re still amazing friend and I want to communicate like before”. No, even if she wants to stay friends, she would give you space to heal. I tell it from my personal experience, I rejected a guy but respected him as a friend AND I knew he was in pain that I friendzoned him, hence I didn’t force him to talk to me, gave him time and we didn’t chat. Several months later he texted me about finals in university and we talked about study in a normal manner like nothing happened before. I knew he was mad at me and hurt, but I didn’t play his feelings and left his life for the better because I respected his feelings.
Really, if she’s in a relationship, she should leave you alone and go be busy with her partner, the hell she wants to look white and sweet?
But once again, I may be wrong and she’s not a manipulator.
Now advise: if you cannot eat, sleep, and you feel you need to make a final point with her, then tell her why you avoided her to clarify things. But I don’t think you need to apologise for that, she’s an adult and understands how you feel and it’s ok to act like that after rejection. You did nothing wrong.
I feel extremely sorry for you because it happens to me like every time I like a man, and I feel you.
Like I said, he just ignored my message to have a great vacation and question where did he go on holidays. At least he didn’t give me any false hope like your girl did
More attentive* in first line, typo
Thanks i really appreciate it.
Considering the situation, it is a good idea to give her some space.