Are labels necessary in a relationship? Why do we need them?

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

[Screenwriter]

If you're talking about the labels of fiance', partner, girl or boyfriend, lover, friends with benefits... yes. You need to know what your PARTNER thinks you are to them. That means you need to know their definition of your place in their life.

Maybe your man thinks you're a friends with benefits and you consider HIM a boyfriend. Well that is Venus and Mars: far too far apart and with far different expectation.

Friends with benefits are sex partners ONLY. A boyfriend is someone you call when you've got a flat or need a cup of sugar or someone to help unclog your toilet if the guy knows how... friends with benefits are not there for ANYthing like this. They don't go out to movies with you, listen to your shit, or let you cry on their shoulders.

Boy or girlfriends are just that: real friends. People who care about you. FWBs are people who care about having SEX with you. They don't want you calling unless you're calling for that reason. They DO NOT WANT EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT. A boyfriend/girlfriend WANTS that!

If you have a finace', then marriage should be in your near future: about one year out. If you've had a fiance' for more than 2 years, something's off. Get a time limit on fiance'ship. If it's dragging on beyond 2 years, marriage is probably unlikely. It was a stalling effort.

A partner is someone you don't plan to marry, but you're involved with for the long haul: children, goals together, travel, love etc. It's a marriage without the civil papers and recognition.

A lover is someone who's above and beyond a friends with benefits... but might be in a nebulous zone. You might not be able to call this person to help change your tire or to cook dinner with. But maybe you WILL soon enough...

So, labels NEED TO BE CLEARLY DEFINED BETWEEN YOU TWO as in, you need to know what he or she means by what she or he dubs you. People have completely different ideas about labels they. use. MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND WHERE THEY'RE COMING FROM!!! AND GOOD LUCK!

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

You really are a screenwriter! And a really good one at that.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Thanks for clearing this out. Some degree of ambiguity was there in my mind. You helped me clear it.

[BlueScorpio]

Yes? It helps you understand where the relationship is going with someone. Everything has a label these days, try going into a store and you see nothing is labeled, no aisles, no price tag, no label to show you exactly what you're buying. You would become confused and frustrated quickly and most likely leave the store. It's the same with relationships, people want to know if you're taking their time and them seriously, they want to know if you see them as a potential part or not.

If I was single and talking to guy and he told me he's not really into lebels and all that, I would automatically assume he's just trying to fool around and not look for anything seriously. That way if I get caught up in my feelings, he can turn around tell me we were never serious cause we didn't put a label in our relationship/situationship.

[Guy13]

In defining why we need Labeling for Relationship let's start why we do NOT "want them": 1. they are an assigned and clearly defined Value. 2. they are representative of one's true feelings and the other standing in their individual live. 3. They come with Expectations and all behaviors are viewed through those lenses.

Security, as defined through labels means security, expectations, results, It is likely that this guy will not feel the freedom to chase what moves or suddenly leave and decide another woman is worthy of a labeling as say girlfriend or fiance'. The one pushing for the label with opposition should realize that their perceived partner is not a relational serious individual.-If they were, they would end the Insecurity factor, man-up, and accept responsibility for actions or behavior.

On thing for sure, I would not sleep with you to get it. If one can not freely assign Value or Label then that individual and i have no business in trying to be together.

[SnowedIn]

It really does depend on what we're talking about. Labels like "wife" or "girlfriend" etc. are helpful and just simplify communication. Other labels are less helpful and still others should be jettisoned.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Can you give examples of other kind of labels? Like you gave for labels like wife and girlfriends?

[SnowedIn]

Let me refine this and not give specific examples but say that labels that help us identify or clarify communication are useful. But labels that merely put people into groups or apply judgement are not useful.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Got it.
Insightful. So labels that make us assume things regarding different entities or make us judgmental are of no use, as they contribute more in a negative way than the other way around.

I have seen people trying to label even the smallest of improvements in the relationship status. I found that completely unnecessary. I think people are really not interested in such small incremental developments. All they want (or not even that) are just highlights of major developments.
Am I correct here?

[SnowedIn]

I think you're correct. That's a whole part of labels I hadn't thought of. And the problem there, I think, with the focus on "All they want (or not even that) are just highlights of major developments." is that the focus is on the label and not the actual development or the content of it.

We use labels sometimes to avoid substantive discussion.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Yes. The whole status thing got even worse since the inception of social networks. Everybody wanted a segment of their life to be as they expected. Unsurprisingly, a 'perfect' setup. I find that highly unrealistic.
A game of status rather than relationship.

It is just like the current system for the majority of it. The result matters. What goes on or went to achieve that result is of no care. I think this is the fundamental reason why so many superficial relationships are there today than earlier.

[SnowedIn]

Thank you for MHO!

[TenderFantasy]

Of course! That way there is no confusion as to WHAT you are and like that other person #BCRanger10 said, it gives it importance! They don't call it "SIGNIFICANT OTHER" or "OTHER HALF" for nothing!

Otherwise, why even HAVE a special anyone or anything if it's not going to matter who or what it is you are treating special or have more attention to? !

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Yup, I agree with you.

But I have seen that many relationships may have a rough patch because either or neither one of the couple is not willing to or able to labelbtheir status in relationship.

Can a couple not enjoy thenselves for the time being? That is my question. Without any label or worrying their status.

And I am far too inexperienced for this lol! So, you may need to explain a bit for certain things.😅

[TenderFantasy]

1. Some people have timelines like they want to have children before they're 30 and never after that.
2. Some people feel DISRESPECTED without labels. Prostistitutes have labels, but they are usually associated with negative or sleezy or easy ones. Friends with Benefits also, in a way, has labels. You're just a friend, not anything more!
3. Some someone is happy that way, sure. But remember you always have TWO people involved in a relationship! BOTH people's feelings have to be considered otherwise you're just using the other person or you're hurting them/wasting their precious time that sadly some people realize too late.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

So it kind of depends on people. Some are satisfied, some are not. Some like unnecessary labels, some prefer only the meaningful ones. Some set priorities like that, some don't.

Got it. Thanks!

[TenderFantasy]

Labels are NEVER unnecessary. How do you think people would be able to distiguish one thing from another? Pink vs. Purple? Used vs. clean? They are NEVER unnecessary!

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Got it!
I think the MHOs I have selected for this question also justify that.

[musicbrain5]

What do you mean by labels? I’m sorry if you have already addressed this. The site is not loading properly for me.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Read other opinions similar to your question. I think you will get the idea.

[slatyb]

They aren't. I don't get the questions "about making it official" The only thing official is a marriage license.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

True.

Legal things hold a different level of importance and license.

[LovingLoverReturned]

So then you guys don't care if she has sex with other men? ?

Because there are in fact open relationships (also known as no relationship, bit it is one, just very open)

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

@LovingLoverReturned Don't go on assuming things, mam. It is not like that. Just that, a legal license holds a much more concrete meaning to it.

[LovingLoverReturned]

I asked. Didn't assume

[LovingLoverReturned]

It's actually a necessary thing. If you have to tell the police who somebody is to you, are you going to say "she is in a romantic relationship with me but we aren't legal"... it's much easier to say "girlfriend"

[XXblack88]

Labels in relationships I think 🤔 are necessary. What else would you call the person when talking about them to others?

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Touché.

[menina]

What do you mean? What labels are you talking about?

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Making it official, dating, friends kind of labels.

More or less in the same relationship stage, but naming each and every step in the relationship.

[menina]

Ok, I see what you mean. I believe that labels are important, so you know where the relationship stands.

[annabananna]

I don’t know How you don’t label someone. Like are they your friend acquaintance enemy girlfriend? Like we all have a label of who we are.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

True. You are correct.

I meant unnecessary labels some people want in their relationships for even the smallest of developments. As if they are in the relationship for the label or status, not the person lol.

[LiamJHayden]

Somewhat, in order to avoid confusion. Lots of question have been asked on here like "Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?" Discussing the level of commitment can help people to avoid problems like, "I thought we were together because we went out twice, but then I saw him with another girl."

[AnUglyBarnacle]

Because people need to be clear and upfront about what they want going forward. It's difficult enough to find someone compatible and to avoid hurt feelings over misunderstandings without being on the same page to begin with.

[BCRanger10]

Yes. It gives a relationship stability, direction, and purpose.

[Anonymous]

Clarity of ones position and status is important so one can set expectations and know what is expected

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Who sets the different benchmarks for these expectations?

[Opinion Owner]

That's a good question, society? Whoever they are they need a fist to the mouth.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

I think it is those people with publically successful and happy relationships. People look up to role models. For reference and comparison. Both in good way and bad.

[Justneedtokno]

I think it makes things easier and understandable there’s no guessing and you know what stages or steps you’re currently in I don’t know where this generation gets off on no titles so weird

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I would say yes. The labels help clarify what kind of romantic relationship you're in or what level you're at with them. If you like calling your partner something else instead of boyfriend or girlfriend, that is fine too.

[NathanDavis]

what kind of labels?

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

You may need to read responses to other similar questions. I have typed far too many times to repeat for you. Sorry.

But you can read other replies.

[NathanDavis]

a copy/paste would have been far more efficient and quick, easy than typing all this long winded way to just say no, I do not want to... lmao

logic is amusing sometimes...

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

😅 you are right!

[TheSimFans]

A bit a labels can be ok with being in relq relationships. Doesn't confused people.

[Jamie05rhs]

YES! THEY ARE! If you do not want to be called my girlfriend, you do not deserve to be treated like a girlfriend!!

[Chazmatazz269]

We don’t need labels. We want them because we are lazy and ignorant.

[pupluv45]

because a girlfriend is not a wife. you can say you want to commit to her but never do it. thats why there are labels.

[Anonymous]

Well even if you die your family needs to declare you dead at social security as -dead-
That’s how life works

[OlderAndWiser]

Which labels?

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Relationship labels like dating, married, boyfriend, girlfriend. All kinds of labels in relationships.

[OlderAndWiser]

A label is useful if it accurately summarizes a group of qualities about something. For instance, describing a person as "hard working" conveys certain information about their persistence, pace, and dedication to accomplishing an assigned goal.

Having a discussion with a partner about expectations is important. "I want us to date each other and not anyone else. I want us to be sexual partners for each other exclusively." You can say I want us to be dating exclusively and it is handy to have a label to tell others about your relationship status, but it should never replace a conversation with everything discussed explicitly.

[Twalli]

Because people think they matter

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Can a relationship be without labels?

[Twalli]

It's possible

[sassyredhead]

Yes they provide comfort and clarity

[jimmy2]

To understand boundaries