Me and my boyfriend decided to have 9 days no contact. What to do now?

[blunty]

9 days no contact. What to do now?

Our relationship was not that well and we made such a decision. But I don't know what to do for 9 days :((

[lightbulb27]

Been there done that. My advice is:

1) Meditate - to heal your tired and emotionally damaged brain... stress damages your brain if not viewed properly, so take time to recover

2) Journal.. write down the challenges, how you are feeling, what's going on. Try to see each persons side. This is not "bitching and complaining"... this is like discovery in a lawsuit... emotional discovery. Try to find how this person connects to your childhood, explore what "damage", "lies" , false training you received as a child.. e. g. "traumas" and start to explore how to repair them. Also write down what it is you learned about yourself, what are your wants and needs. Write down your "hard boundaries" and those where you can and WANT to make changes. This is 6-9 months of work:)!

3) Pray to the all mighty God... God is love. can't hurt... actually, it can, but what the heck... some games were won by "hail marries". This helps you connect with your child inside

4) Find some videos to watch on relationships, breakups, divorces, trust, whatever subject, start studying. This is after you start feeling good and do the above. You should do this together...

5) Watch the TED talk on "stress" for some inspiration.

6) take a walk, get some exercise, spend time with friends (not opposite sex), do things that bring you joy. No porn, no hookups, and detractions from the real issue noted at # 2. You... are the problem, you are the solution! The challenge you have is the age...33... there's a clock ticking, so get to work on you!

7) prepare to get back together... probably more than 9 days to actually, for once, communicate!

At 33, if you are going through this crapola, and that's what it is, and I did as well at a later age, it means you have successfully avoided dealing with your damaged childhood and don't know yourself very well. Relationships are THE #1 way to test your deeper emotional self and find stuff that needs repaired. Attraction is an amazing thing I can explain somewhat, it's obvious how it works once you understand. Thus, you're still a developing/recovering child... which is fine, you can grow up. You have some things to learn about yourself, there's value in this "pain". That learning and the ensuing repair/changing is painful, but required to grow.

Do this right, you come out much better no matter what. Hand this to your boyfriend! Good luck!

[Guy13]

That’s a very good move as you two sound very mature. Today, people vanish and throw time and others away like nonexistent. I have a lady friend that does this every fourth quarter to some guy. By Valentines Day, she’ll never see her again.
Hopefully, you guys find peace again after holiday season and stresses pass. Good luck.

[whorable]

take time to listen to yourself.. give yourself time to miss him/ or try out life without him for a bit and see how you feel. i’d you feel terrible maybe it’s motivating to see how much you want your relationship to work.. if it’s more peaceful and you find yourself happier maybe it’s time to reevaluate things

[pascal_climbs]

Just be patient. Who took the initiative? Its up to him/her making contact again. Of that does not happen, the other can try to contact again after a few days.

[Summeroflove]

Well. After the nine days. If you feel miserable in a relationship. Leave it.

[virtue2332]

Take the time to get better acquainted with yourself and what your needs and desires are. We can sometimes focus on making someone else happy that we forget how important that is. Imbalances create vibrations and the bigger imbalance the stronger and more damaging these vibrations can be. Vibration can also be stimulating and healing. Perfect balance is not attainable and probably stale and boring if it was. Find that feels good. Interpret it how you want.

[TaureanBull81]

Hey @blunty, having 9 days without contacting means having to respect one another's personal space. I'm sure you'd be able to keep your mind occupied with any hobbies and interests you enjoy, exercising, catching up with friends and family 👪, going to the movies 🎬 etc. You were able to live without your boyfriend and be independent before the two of you met so I'm sure you'll be fine.

[aaron210419]

Focus on yourself and remember who you were before you were in the relationship, don't go out with anyone else so you can keep a clear mind and conscious, and set some time for you to decide if it is worth continuing.
I hope things work out in your favor and you're able to make the right decision.

[Jupiter1]

Clean up your own mess to improve yourself. Walk or run everyday to clear your mind and think about some great ideas for your future. Reconnect with important loved ones. So many productive things can be accomplished in just one day. With nine days, you can be a totally different new and improved person.

[mrinalashesh007]

Concentrate on good things around you. Go for a ride, play bowling or go see a movie, an outing can help you take off mind from the issue of 9 days.

[melanieeeB]

Be you and do what you want. In my eyes it's never good to be that dependet or attached to someone else. It's just 9 days for now.

[TheFlak38]

so basically he has 9 days without you emotionally blackmailing him and nagging his ass to an early grave before he goes back to the status quo and living hell.

[Anonymous]

The fact that your biggest problem in all of this is not knowing what to do with yourself for 9 days tells me you need to work on yourself. Take the time to get your life in order and get a hobby or something.

[OddBeMe]

Wow. Well the point of this, I assume, is to see how well you get on without each other. The actual notion of doing this seems like red flag to me. I’d say don’t get comfy with this dude.

[TacosRAwesome]

Reflect on whether you should stay or move on.

[JPresidente]

Fill up your time going places and seeing friends.

[Anonymous]

you mean you and your ex. i don't think that's a good idea...

[Tracker1958]

Leave, go f all his frinds. It with help your relationship grow.

[Anonymous]

what a fun period to hunt other men and cheat on your boyfriend 🤔

[driven159]

It is time to move on stop wasting your time

[Bklynbadboy12]

Tell him you don't want that communication is key

[Anonymous]

I Assume he was the one who asked you out

[In_Trance]

Rail other guys

[Pterodon]

It’s over

[Anonymous]

Go on dates, lol