Look. There are females who will not like this. It's often based on age, maturity, region/culture. But the vast majority of women take a man they care about sharing their vulnerabilities with them, in a heartfelt and honest way, as an incredibly intimate moment, and they want to treat that man with compassion. No one knows what to say, all the time in every circumstance. That's tricky, right? But it shows a level of trust, or of need, that supersedes all else. It is vulnerable and it is beautiful and we love you for it. This is a modern man and this is what most women around the globe want.
Don't listen to the guys who tell you they did it, and it went wrong, and they forever regretted it. There are a lot of reasons people are not attracted to one another, or they lose attraction. It's not just a simple cause-and-effect when it comes to men expressing weakness or fear or pain.
We cannot love you if we do not know you. And we know that men suffer just as much as we do. You have been raised to be different, stronger, independent, to not show what we are able to. And that is a great burden to you.
Entrusting us is a great honour. Whatever happens after that is not your fault. You are human, and you deserve a soft place to lean.
In your poll, and mine, the female votes are pretty much unanimous. We want to know how you are feeling. We love you for it.
As a girl, yes, please do. Despite what seems to be a common opinion here, many women would really appreciate the men in their life being open and vulnerable with them. The only time that would be weird is if you just met.
Yes, you can and should talk about your weaknesses, and the things you are insecure about.
Unless she isn't your mother, your sister, or even your platonic female best friend, it's usually advised you don't confide in your feelings with a girl or confide your weaknesses to her unless you want her to lose any semblance of attraction for you, and I'll tell you why.
It's a proven FACT (and any girl here can disagree with me down in the comments, so go right ahead) that women may tell you they want you to tell them your feelings, be honest and open about your emotions and cry to them about your problems, but that's exactly what you should not do, and I cannot stress enough on how that can turn her off from you quicker than a lightbulb.
At first, she'll probably be all like "aww come here!" and then proceed to hold and cuddle you as if you're her baby, but then you'll start to notice a change in her mannerisms towards you. Contrary to what these fake dating gurus and pickup artists tell you, girls are disgusted by men who show emotions and not only make fun of them in their girl gatherings but also look at them as weak and beta.
True that. women don’t actually know what they want
The majority of women are not safe to share your emotions and weakness. They will tell the world about it or use it against you when you have a disagreement. At best they will loose all attraction toward you.
If you really want to show weaknesses, yes emotions are weaknesses, do it to a trusted group of friends. Before romance, men need to find a real brotherhood.
If you really want to open up to your romantic partner here is a step to take first. Tell her a false weakness, something humiliating or very personal. Wait and see if she ends up telling her friends. Look if she uses your weakness against you in the next couple of serious fights you have.
When a woman say they want emotional men, what they mean is :
- A man who is very open about how hopelessly in love he is with her or cry for her. It strokes their ego, stiffle their insecurities and gives them a sense of power.
- A man who talk about having fight with his boss so she can pat you in the back and feel good about it.
Opinion
34Opinion
Honestly, let me tell you that its absolutely okay to share that as a man with a woman. But as a guy, you absolutely should not share it too early, hang on to it until you feel it's the right time.
Nobody wants to present themselves as being too vulnerable too early within a relationship. I usually wait on her to share, then I share mine with her... because if she is willing to open up to me... then she deserves the same from me. Unless it's just not that type of situation.
She doesn't care about it and certainly doesn't want to hear it. Stay stoic keep your frame as a man unless you just want to end up as friends then go for it.
ROFL. What sort of worthless sluts have you known in your life? A real woman who'll contribute something of value to a man's life would want to know & support him.
A whore, prostitute wannabe, slut, etc - in general the increasing norm of a dimwitted cow that sleeps around like a cheap prostitute too stupid to charge for services - wouldn't care because she has little to no value in a relationship besides sex.
@BlackBeauty90 Women can't show support if the man is crying about his life. They will just go elsewhere unless they want a man they can mommy.
@coachTanthony - ROFL. Obviously you know some very cheap women. Women want a man who will admit that he has weaknesses. A loser who doesn't isn't worth his name.
@BlackBeauty90 Ok thanks for the comments.
Nahhh 💍 and courthouse paperwork in hand first
Someone is high asf on some weird shit rn.
@bamesjond0069 I'm showing my tears and all that crap until I am married to her. Not me !!
Why though? She will just divorce you then instead of dump you. Is that really a better situation?
@bamesjond0069 No she won’t. Maybe the one you marry will. I will be equally yoked.
Well let me know how equal it is when she has another dude up in your house that's now hers and you're living in a tiny apt eating ramen.
@bamesjond0069 you should fight a book with your imagination
If you open up emotionally, they love that.
But if you do it the wrong way, it will feel "weak" and bad and they will puke emotionally all over you, and run emotionally to the other side of the forrest... where you can't come anywhere near their "V"... where they have the risk of producing very needy offspring that require nurturing and a strong male presence around to provide security and support.
And that's how it is... so do it right, with emotion, but strength.
That will probably depend on the kind of weakness, because having a wee spot does not mean being weak in general. Let me quote what my aunt one day told about herself and her daughter: "we don't like to be dominated, safe in the right moments, the very intimate ones..."
Women seem genarally to love a plainly strong guy, but appreciate it very much when the guy shows a wee spot, because the lady feels she can maybe help. No one seems to love invincible guys or girls, always strong and unforgiving... Let's just be humans with strong and weak sides at the same time.
Yes, but certain conditions must be met first:
1. You need to be in a serious relationship for a long time. Do not show your weakness early on
2. Get her to open up first. Get to know her. Make her feel safe.
3. Make sure she is mature and not the type to play games. Make sure she is loyal.
Know that, at a certain point, it is inevitable she will learn about your vulnerabilities. When a woman tries, she is very perceptive, especially to people she cares about. Trying to hide emotion from a woman you are close to is like trying to stop a train from hitting you while you are tied to the track. EVERY relationship has risk involved.
It's a big no, tbh...
Life is not a tv show, you can tell them about it once, the next time you tell them about it, they gonna get irritated from you make fun of you..
Woman say that they are okay but, they truly aren't, talk with your friends they are better listeners, even if you complain about the same stuff, they are gonna hear it and laugh and with you.
Nope. The only ones that may care are close family members, and even that's not true in every family.
This is especially true when it comes to discussing mens' societal issues with them. They automatically go on the defensive. For instance, two women that I've been (at times more than) friends with for a long time (one for approx. 25 years and the other for approx. 15 years), after bringing up some mens' issues that were on my mind and felt were important, reacted in two different ways, both negative - the first was argumentative and the second dismissive. A year later and neither are speaking to me.
Before doing anything--literally ANYTHING--you need to ask yourself the question: how will this help? Maybe you honestly don't know. In that case, give it a try and see what happens. If it helps, then do it more in the future. If it doesn't help then do it less. But you should always, always, ALWAYS approach any action from the perspective of "I'm going to do whatever makes the situation BETTER--or at the VERY least, not worse." Then CLOSELY OBSERVE what happens, try to make sense of it, do more of what works and less of what doesn't.
Now having said all of that--In my personal experience it CAN be beneficial to tell someone about your weaknesses, but VERY often this doesn't help. And ESPECIALLY if it's a person you're TRYING TO ATTRACT TO YOU, opening with all of your issues is unlikely to give you your desired result.
@update: if you're trying to understand human behavior--do NOT ask people what they think or what they like, or what they want. WATCH WHAT THEY DO. Words are often WORSE than meaningless. All that matters is behavior. That's why you NEVER ask women what they want in a guy. That. Doesn't. Matter. Observe WHO they go home with. THAT'S what matters.
Depends on the girl honestly. I'd never talk about my weakness to a woman who isn't actually capable of understanding what I'm trying to say. Women when it comes to man most depend on other sources of information to understand men rather than trying to understand her partner. Men do that too.
I understand why some guys may have an issue with this , their parenting , their machismo or maybe even a negative experience or two associated with being vulnerable but over almost always considered that to be human and mentally balanced is to have a emotion and to let it out when there is a need is part of being so and considered healthy. Although one can over share in that area , not every thought or emotion needs to be verbalized
absolutely... it intrigues me why men make it such a big deal to share ehatever what's on their hearts and minds to women.
why it is such a big deal? because yoy are afraid that women will get turned off? you are not robot. so just share away.
me personally i like if a persom share something to me i like it detailed ideally but if not it's also fine
unless you don't trust the person that i understand not to share
Yeah, but you have to earn it in a way. When I say earn it I mean you have to be overall emotionally stable majority of the time. You can't be crying about your issues all the time and a woman worth being with isn't going to dump you if you show weakness in a moment that calls for it like if someone dies or something. It's ridiculous when men say you can't be emotional around women and to be stoic as if that's a better option.
It depends on how old the relationship is. Early on you just met, NO. Women don’t actually know what they want it comes off as weak and that makes you look unattractive. If she isn’t your wife, I would advise against sharing weaknesses that are not a need to know in the advancement of the relationship, because despite some women saying: “yea you can tell me”, being seen as weak is unattractive in there eyes.
[NO! NEVER! You are to be viewed as her rock, her emotional-strength. Never show her your soft-side. She may lend-an-ear, but after that you will lose admiration, not be seen as her leader, and weaker than her, in turn she will lose attraction for you, and later, respect. NEVER!]
If you're talking to a friend who happens to be a girl then this is usually fine. If it's someone you are in a relationship with you need to be very careful about what you say because even if it's not used against you in some way in the future it will still change the way your partner sees you.
There may be some mentally mature women out there who will not think less of you but this is very rare in these times.
If they don't, they eventually, sooner or later, lose the woman they're interested in.
DO NOT take advice from old farts on here trying to sabotage your romantic life because they have none of their own.
Tread at your own peril man.
My advice is NEVER share more about yourself than you have to with a woman. And especially weaknesses. If she's remotely observant she'll figure it out on her own. Most women that ask, only do so to know your weakness to use against you, if need be.
Yes, provided that they make sure they could trust that woman, that she is compatible, mature, open-minded, honest, rational, emotionally stable enough to stay in a relationship and be loyal to them even if they don't feel as turned on as in the beggining. Men will always betray their weakness in other ways if women get to know them well enough.
it’s completely up to the guy but id encourage my first boyfriend in the future to be as open as he’d like. 😀 (if i find or see anything weird, ill confront him about it. but also, he can keep his secrets and share or not share).
@JackRoamer sure. just did ;)
I have these two Guardian angels as I like to call them. Penpals who I lost contact with but I think they really helped me out. I wouldn't mind calling them my second and third Mom 🙂. They were so insightful. Just lost contact with them during Ukraine Russia War.
But I will always remember them. I wish I could go meet them in Russia. I have address of one of the woman. I will send her a gift or may be surprise her with a visit.
Love you from the bottom of my heart
Most guys and almost all girls said Yes. I just don't like to be vulnerable in front of girlfriend. Because she will think she has to carry me. I will instead be happy taking care to here her emotional needs instead
I think you shouldn't.. Girls will say they like it but they'll use it against you later.. It hasn't happened to me but I see it with other people like all the time.. of course I expect the girl I like to not be one of them lol
depends on women, their age, and their ethnicity, conservative girls who never had seen their father soft, will run from you, and random women or just female friends will think of you as a wimp, if she's already your girlfriend and she communicates properly then she can understand but those girls are incredibly rare. Many will say nothing to your face but will be turned off inside.
I learned the hard way that the answer is "No". A hard "No" learned through 4+ decades in The School of Hard Knocks.
Absolutely. If a girl has a problem with this she is not a good one to date anyway, but I promise most of us actually enjoy this.
I appriciate a man who is open about his soft corner.
They can but isn't a smart move, it can and probably will backfire as soon as she is in a bad mood.
I did it to my girlfriend. She was fully supportive and super caring. Today she is my wife.
Find someone who will be your rock when you are down.
Regarding the update. I am living proof that the girls are telling you the truth.
First rule I follow is to never tell a girl about my soft corner or weakness. I don't reveal my soft corner or weakness because I know it'll be used to hurt me.
Sure, but be prepared to get laughed at and mocked about it when she gets angry
Been sold this lie before. Opened up, really opened up, tears, stories, the lot. She left. Do not fall for that lie
No. Didn't you read the story of Samson? Oh wait nobody reads the Bible anymore, especially the old testament.
Depends how much you trust her. Women don't fight physically, they fight using these kind of things. Do you trust her enough to give her ammo?
if he wants to turn her vagina into the Sahara desert then yes.
Maybe….. but only after you know them to the core & trust them significantly.
Dont listen to what the matrix us telling you boys, you will fail..
Nope. a lot of men know not to trust this bullshit. Keep that stuff to yourself. No matter how much woman say its okay, don't do it
most attractive thing.
Can I ask you a question
@ManhattanMan1212 okay
Would you dump a great man just because he has a average size penis?
@ManhattanMan1212 no sir this isn't porn, sometimes average is better.
Yes but be sure you can trust her.
WHAT'S a Soft Corner?
Sure, once he gets to know and trust a woman.
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