Is there still a chance for us?

[Anonymous]

I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 3 months and we’ve been very close. Unfortunately she lost the same connection from when we met because she knows that after college I won’t be living near in her state.

I would do absolutely anything for her but it didn’t change her mind. She still wants to be friends and that is what I will be to her. I just know it won’t be the same as when we were dating.

In my previous relationships there was always a point in time where my exes found that connection again but I couldn’t because they were toxic relationships, but this girl has made me feel so much different than all my other relationships. Is there still that same chance to reignite that connection?

[SueShe]

So YOU broke off with your girlfriend and YOU want to reunite again, right?

Try to put yourself in her mind. She knows that she will only see you occasionally, perhaps 2 or 3 times a year. How do you think that will work out? Are you willing to sacrifice your future so that you can be with her? Are you willing to take the risk that in 3 years, the relationship is severed for whatever reason? and then?

You would blame her for not allowing you to pursue your dream career or job. In life, sometimes (actually very often), you have to make the right choice, even if that means that you have to make a big sacrifice.

Let this lady go and concentrate on your professional future. This should be much more important than any romance.

[Asker]

Sorry I never understood the different titles of breaking up with someone (dumped, breaking up, separating) she broke up with me because she lost the connection. Sorry for making you write all that…

[Asker]

Also in my defense my dream job is pretty flexible it’s not confined to one place although it’s very popular in an area

[SueShe]

What kind of sacrifices are you willing to make and for how long?

You are in the 18-24 age group, the age where people are experimenting with sex/love but how will it be in 20 years from now when (for example) your girlfriend has put on 40lbs. Will you still love her for who she has become or will you want to look for someone who is the way she was 20 years ago? Those are all questions that are not possible to answer now.

[Asker]

If she puts on 40lbs, I’ll put on 80. I am not conventionally attractive but she still chose me. Not only that but she taught me to (as cheesy as it sounds) love what’s on the inside. There was no one more considerate and loving than her and I don’t want anyone else, I want her.

[SueShe]

If that is the way you feel, then you tell her exactly that and you fight for her. If you fight, then there is always more chance than if you don't do anything. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Let her go and move on. It is not the end of the world.

[Guy13]

Tell her what you are telling us and then ask if she will remain in your life.

[Iron_Man]

Take it to the friendship, build it back up again, impress her

[Asker]

How would I build it back up without being obvious?

[Rainbow_Warming]

You won't be living near her, it makes no sense to try something.