Would you share the expenses with your girlfriend if both decided to have an abortion?

[Anonymous]

I've been talking to this guy for three months and recently found out I'm pregnant. We both decided to terminate the pregnancy since our relationship is not yet solid enough. I arranged everything, booked the clinic and made all the travel arrangements, however, he didn't offer to pay for anything. Is not that I need the money but I think it would be a nice gesture if he offered to share some of the expenses. I didn't conceive this baby on my own. Should I ask him to? What would you do in this situation?

[tenor55]

I just think that it sucks that the man bears half of the responsibility but none of the obligation. If they really cared about life, states that have banned abortion should have laws that require the man to pay 1/2 of the child support expenses. In case you think I have no right to talk, I got my girlfriend pregnant when she was 16 and I was 17. I would not abandon her, and I loved her. We have been happily married for 50 years.


I know that is not really an answer to your question, but it is a topic that stirs me up!

[Asker]

I appreciate your comment but we're not American and he didn't abandon me. He's been supportive and we both agree this is the right decision I just wish he would had offered to share the expenses with me. I did not conceive this child on my own and I wouldn't be pregnant if it wasn't for him. I think it would be a nice gesture from him. Am I wrong to think this way?

[tenor55]

No I don’t think you are wrong to think that way. I don’t care if it has been 3 months, 3 years, or 3 weeks. However, I am really glad to hear that he did not abandon you! That seems to be what happens in the States and that should not happen. You are right. You did not get pregnant on your own.

[Curmudgeon]

"states that have banned abortion should have laws that require the man to pay 1/2 of the child support expenses" - news flash, this has already happened, abortion on demand or not. "Deadbeat Dad" laws.

[AviatorTom]

You should have already asked him, when you two decided to terminate the pregnancy. It may be too late now, but please ask him to share the expense... and maybe ask him to be there when you have the procedure.

[Asker]

He won't be able to accompany me. I'm doing the procedure in a different country

[Anonymous]

It’s more than likely that he doesn’t feel obligated to do so since it doesn’t seem like you guys were in a serious relationship. If you are not in a commited and serious relationship with a guy and lack a deep bond with him he probably feels detached from and doesn’t see you and the unborn baby as his responsibility.

in my opinion if I were you I would ask him directly for some money for the procedure. It’s the least he can do, and as you said, you both conceived that baby.

[AmyHew1tt]

Yes, I think you should ask if that's what you want. His paying for at least part of it is only the right thing to do.

[Asker]

Thank you dear

[Summeroflove]

You’re such a selfish bitch. So is he but.

You’re the one who decided to spread your legs and now want to kill your child. You’re a disgusting person. I can see why you attract these kind of men. Because you’re not entitled to money.

You want to sleep around and use abortion as birth control and kill life you brought into this world by your own choices.

You’re a horrible person

[ThinkFitness23]

I understand you maybe unhappy with the termination but remember this girl is in a vulnerable position, she is likely to be hurting and full of guilt and your choice of words and lack of empathy towards her situation is extremely concerning.

Your thoughts or opinions can be strong and you can make your point without calling her what you did in your very first line.

I don’t want a long dialogue between us, I know it will be pointless. You need to change your approach and attitudes towards such end of conversation.

[Summeroflove]

@ThinkFitness23 oh bla bla bla. Excuses. Never the persons fault.

[Summeroflove]

@ThinkFitness23 I can answer questions any way I want to and if you don’t like reading what I have to say. Go on and block me.

You’re always the pointless ones who seek me out to start and pick fights

[Kaneki05]

Abortion is free in my country so this wouldn't be a concern.
But yes it's fair that both of you pay for it if you have to do so. Unless of course she was supposed to be on pill and the guy thought that while doing it or she asked for him to use a condom but he didn't get one. Then in that case the person who caused it pays fully.

[Asker]

May I ask where do you live?

[Agape93]

Ask if you want. I never did. It was my medical choice and my body involved, so I paid for it and didn't tell em a thing.

[Asker]

I did tell him and we both agreed this is the right decision. He supports me and checks on me daily but didn't offer to cover any expenses. Am I expecting too much?

[Agape93]

Nope, but some folks will think so

[ThinkFitness23]

Read back through my post and all of yours and seriously tell me I’m the one looking for a argument!


I’m not saying your right or wrong I’m simply pointing out that there is a way to communicate and get your point across.


As initially mentioned I won’t get into a long dialogue about this.

[FriendlyCanadianGuy]

If I knocked her up and really didn't want the kid - might sound shitty to say - but Id pay all the expenses just to make sure the abortion is completed. Eliminating financial stress of the women can help ease her doubts.

Abortion is a tough topic... try and be responsible in your relationship, this should only be a last resort... think my first ever pregnancy scare was with someone I dated for 3 years...

3 months kinda seems like y'all being careless

[HighValue]

I wouldn't agree to an abortion myself, but in your case I think it would be fair for both people to pay equally since it took both of you to create it. Do either of you have healthcare? Maybe talk to him about that before going through with it. A health plan may cover a lot of the costs.

[Ghostykill3r]

If it's something we both agreed on, I would give what I could to her in order to help with the costs. If I was well off financially I wouldn't mind paying for the entire cost.

[cth96190]

How does a woman become pregnant through “talking”?
Abortion is murder.
When a woman murders her own unborn baby, for the sake of convenience, that tells me everything that I need to know about that woman.
Have you heard of contraception?
If you do not want to use contraception, keep your legs together until you are married.
One day, you will have to answer to God for the choices that you make.

[Sparkie460]

You shouldn't have to ask him. He should have immediately offered to pay at least half the expenses.

[Asker]

I know. But so far he hasn't offered anything

[Anonymous]

Lol, you've been doing more than talking if my understanding of biology holds true.

If you don't really need the money, you certainly don't need the stress so I'd be inclined to let it go.

From his perspective, him paying is the cheap option frankly and if he considers this an ongoing relationship, I would think he'd want to make the right moves now. Financially and emotionally.

[letuswaltzforthedead]

It's your body, but I agree that he should be a little more involved. You can ask if you want to, abortion is a different experience for everyone so some women talk through and plan it while others just do it more secretly

[Anonymous]

"I've been talking to this guy for three months and recently found out I'm pregnant." They call it "talking" now? When I was young, it was called something completely different!

[boggboss]

U can ask but clearly he dont think the same way u do

[Asker]

I feel the same and that makes me sad

[boggboss]

Nit sure what u expected from a guy u been with for 3 months to be honest

[exitseven]

It is amazing that you got pregnant by just talking to this guy.

[Anonymous]

3 months. Isn't that a bit late to terminate your unborn child?

[Asker]

I said we met three months ago didn't say I'm three months pregnant.

[BJP21]

It took 2 to tango... So I would as he is equally responsible.

[Guardian45]

Yes, I would an "active participant" sharing all the costs.

[SnowedIn]

I would offer to help pay, absolutely.

[spartan55]

Shithead needs to pay half. Wtf, what a loser.

[Jmmmfi4]

I'll pay for everything just make this nightmare disappear

[jimmy2]

She has no sense in sex if she pg there to much stuff to prevent that

[Luopio27]

Yes in the name of fairness.

[SpokenTruth]

Abortion is murder just don't do it.