What do women mean when they say, ..."I Don't Need A Man"?

Question

CubsterShura · Accepted Answer

Within this one week I rejected three men, and I told all of them the same thing: that I'm at the stage of my life where I am making a lot of progress and going through a whole journey where the addition of a man can potentially hamper it. Am I trying to imply that having a man could not possibly improve things? Absolutely not, a man who is supportive of all I'm going through right now and listens to me and gives me his time and energy would definitely feel fantastic, but I'm also aware that realistically the chances of that is really slim. And those guys are all good people I've known for a while and have been nothing less than supportive allies since we've met, I still said no. Nothing personal against them, I simply don't find it a good idea to pursue a relationship for me.

No, I'm not an 'independent' woman, although a lot of men describe me as such as they believe I'm independent in terms of my mindset. No one is truly independent and that's okay, I'm not in need of a romantic partner to have any of my needs met. I have a caring family and supportive friends I can rely on. I've had boyfriends who have neglected me, but my family never neglected me, and my friends never neglected me. They stayed to give me support when I've had men hurt me. Why would I need a man then? In fact I don't even want to be in a committed relationship until I am independent. As much as I'm aware that even if I'm in my 40's if my parents are alive they will happily take me if I need their care, it is still reassuring to know that I have something of my own. Insecure men who need women to need them can cry all they want about how women who had a secure upbringing with loving parents at home are "spoiled princesses". Same men will trash women with "daddy issues" like it's their fault their fathers have been shitty. Damned if we do damned if we don't.

I'll tell you a secret, it's not like I never feel lonely or horny, or envious of other happy lovey dovey couples around me. I don't know why this is happening with me, but everyone around me seems to be getting in relationships, engaged or married. Naturally those desires cross my mind from time to time. But I rationally don't see that as the reason to be with anyone right now. If there's anything I learned from my past relationships then that is loneliness or physical desires alone are never enough reason to get a boyfriend, most likely you will get desperate to have those needs met, you will settle for someone you won't be happy with, fall back into the same pattern of choosing the wrong people because you haven't taken your time to learn otherwise and that doesn't do anyone a favor. It's unfair to you, it's unfair to your partner, and it makes the world more chaotic in a bad way.

Imagine you're on a diet, you are so tempted to order from your favorite takeout or indulge with your friends, but you know better than giving in to these cravings for your own good. Or when you're on a tight budget to save some money. You see something in the market that you badly want to get, it's so tempting despite the price. But you don't buy it because you're committed to sticking to your budget. You can get it once you have met your financial goals and can afford it. That's how dating is for me right now.

It also really makes me mad when people make it sound like a bad thing when you have been hurt in a relationship so you want to stay single for a while, or, heck, not want a relationship at all for your own reasons. If you get a fracture don't you keep your affected area plastered until it's healed? Then why is it wrong for someone who has been hurt from a relationship to take their time to heal and work on themselves before they get their foot into the dating world again? Hell yeah I came out of a relationship where my ex didn't let me play my favorite music around him, you bet I want to enjoy the freedom of blasting my favorite music alone in my room for as long as I can. Let me have my guys time! Plus when people are hurt they are more vulnerable to being hurt by others or become the ones to hurt other people, that's not healthy at all. It is so stupid when people try to pathologize a woman not being eager for a man 24/7 like she must be bitter or hurt or fed some narrative by the media. It's always other women who constantly need male validation being reminded of their insecurities or men who need women to need them to feed their ego who try to make women feel bad for themselves when they are just minding their own business. Listen up, a woman doing something for herself is not a declaration of war against men, get over yourselves.

Everyone needs to experience a phase of life spending more time by themselves. It's amazing the things you discover about yourself, how free and happy you start to feel. I kinda don't wanna ruin this peace.

outofthisworld · Accepted Answer

I can’t speak for other women, but in my case, it means I am not in need of what men typically have to offer. I do acknowledge that there are many pros to having a man around, and many of my female acquaintances have confessed to needing a man and even not being able to survive without one in their lives, but it so happens that based on what I have seen and yes, also previous experiences, personally, those pros don’t outweigh the cons. Furthermore, men have some basic needs (as we all do) that I won’t be able to provide, and I don’t want a one-sided relationship. I am not claiming to be stronger or having something other women who need men don’t. Maybe I am just not made for it? Or more likely, I just value my freedom above all, and having a man or any companion for that matter whom I need to make compromises for? Well, that often puts a lot of stress on me. I also like doing everything at my own pace and my own way, and man or not, living with or having a close relationship with someone can put a damper on that. That said, I am not averse to the idea of male companionship, however, I know that I am too selfish to sacrifice my freedom, so unless it happens to be a man who has a very similar or compatible mindset (which so far, has not been anywhere in sight in all my long years of existence, lol), I just know it won’t work; therefore, I don’t need it.

Guy13 · Accepted Answer

Inside Head: post quote/question… Universal in nature and applicable to both Sexes.
Not a happy place where 5 Living masses of Damaged Goods and Fragility, with unprocessed anger, projects upon a People group.

Driven by a hate that poisons only themselves as the men/women “projected upon” care less.

Often running to a false paradigm of same-sex like suffers, feminist or male supremacy-separatists, and/or pieces of meats 3/poly where their self-hate poisoning clearly presents itself.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

It means either:

1. They are a strong independent woman who can live without having a sexual partner and don't want to be in a relationship in which they feel that they are dependent on a man; OR

2. They are NOT a strong independent woman who can live without having a sexual partner and they know that when they are in a relationship, they will feel dependent on their man. . . but they just don't want to openly acknowledge that fact.

letuswaltzforthedead · Answer

Here's the thing, when women say they need no man, they are actually spilling out secrets.

For many years, many centuries, men lived believing they were in control (patriarchy) and that they ruled over women too. For many years, the system worked perfectly. The men built incredible new technologies and structures, and civilizations thrived. But as the years went by, the women began to grow bored. They had been doing the same thing for so long, and they began to want more. They wanted to build and create for themselves.

As the men continued to simp for their caretakers, the women began to take matters into their own hands. They began to learn the skills that the men had been using to build and create.

When women say they need no man, women have finally achieved their goal all along.

Don't worry, men won't go extinct. They will still be incubated in plastic bags/artificial wombs. Other wise, who will pay for only fans subscription?

msc545 · Answer

It could mean a couple things. First of all it could mean that they just got out of a relationship and are feeling bittrt and don't really want to get involved with another man. I can understand that. Or, it might mean that they've decided that they're gay or they've always known they were gay and they're just simply not interested in men sexually. I understand that too. I think if someone said that to you what you could say back to them would be something like why is it that you don't need a man are you tired of men or do you not like them or are you not interested in them. all of those are questions of course but I think those kind of questions tend to elicit some good conversations.

WonderBell99 · Answer

Yeah, I do not need a man in a romantic sense at this moment. Do I want anyone right now? Not really. Do I need one? Nope, I'm quite self sufficient and I would like to focus on my studies and family right now. Do I WANT a good man in the future? Yes.

The same way men do not "need" women either, I would much rather a man "want" me than "need" me.

Tyrael · Answer

I can only assume they mean they want to live without running water, electricity, a sewage system or any stock in supermarkets because there's no one driving the lorries that deliver the stuff to go in them 🤷

Or they just mean they have a job and pay their own bills, like every human adult does.

melanieeeB · Answer

I mean that I'm not dependent on a man in any way, I also don't need to have a relationship in my life to be happy.
I would like to have a partner but I don't need him and if I meet someone soon and be with him, it's only going to be cause I choose to be with him for him alone

mstbooblover · Answer

When a woman says she doesn't need a man, it depends on the context to know what she means:

- She's able to handle tools and do jobs in the house herself.
- She's able to earn a living by herself.
- She prefers to live on her own without a man, if not with another woman.
- She wants children, but no man home in her feet. I've known such a woman telling me she always knew she wanted children, but certainly no man there where she lived.
- Maybe a mix of different points mentioned above.

BubbaSparkx · Answer

They are strong and independent and don't want the headache of a man; who isn't invested in a relationship with them; if they aren't willing to put with the littlest things like nagging, time of the month mood swings and occasional insults or put downs,

They want a man; who will be strong for them; someone will take it when you make more money than them and you're likely to come across someone who is built like an Alpha Man; who can take what you dish out, that's rare, so good luck with that.

SaoirseS · Answer

I’m guessing women who say that mean they don’t need a man.

TrueConfection · Answer

Need and want are two different things. Saying she doesn't need a man likely means she is financially independent, she is confident in her decisions, and secure in her self esteem.

She may still want a man and be welcoming to sharing her life with the one that prefers to be wanted instead of needed.

Dinklex3 · Answer

Exactly what it sounds like.

Don't need a man (significant other) to live and we don't need one to be happy.

I see a lot of dumbasses on this site trying to twist it saying it means we don't need men in the world which they know is false.

Anonymous · Answer

Means I don't have a man or they are a lesbian. It's like when a woman says she's a strong individual woman, I mean when you ask what all that actually means seems to me they are just saying that they are in fact adult women. Strong independent woman who dont need no man well it's really an American thing and to be honest it's kind of cringe when you hear it.

Anonymous · Answer

It means that they are entitled and completely oblivious to the fact that they only say that nonsense because men make their world easy to exist in. If it wasn’t for men (that “they don’t need”) they would be living in the forest surrounded by their own shit if they survived at all.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

That usually means,

she got really hurt and disappointed in her past relationship by a man who used to be a perfect guy for her.

So, they assure themselves they don’t need men to feel happy and that you can be perfectly fine on your own.

These are words of a woman who’s been hurt.

Screenwriter · Answer

There're not in the market for a relationship and they're not looking. Pretty simple.

It's more like, "I don't WANT a man." (right now)... Some women mean, not ever. Some are oriented toward another goal: work, school, travel, kids.

I think it's individualistic. More than likely, you have to ask...

Msputiton · Answer

Let's be honest.

Does a man "need" a woman?

Does a woman "need" a man?

The answer is no. Dating or marriage isn't a necessity to stay alive it is a benefit for someone who wants a relationship.

Humanity's future existence needs men and women to procreate to stay alive.

But as for us needing each other. We don't. We can both survive without being in a relationship, with the opposite sex just fine.

Finchie40 · Answer

It means she is over guys and probably had her heart shit on a ton by men that treated her like shit , cuz I say the same thing about girls’somce I had my heart shit on by them as well, but it really means shit , she would be stating a fact if she didn’t want dick in her anymore just like if I said I didn’t want pussy anymore , she would be lying and I would be lying lol

kevypatyy7 · Answer

Women, I personally think that women are tired of being bossed around by men. It's a story everywhere, especially in Africa, women are treated as housewives, sex object and so on. They don't value women. And there is forty day to everything so women have realized they need to also to stand up

UniquelyBasic · Answer

I feel certain women use it in a way to say that they don't need men that they don't see as up to their standards. I think they will want a man but only if he lives up to her crazy standards. I'm not saying women that say they don't need a man are all superficial, but it comes with a adversarial view when I hear it being said usually.

Sisters_Of_Time · Answer

Don't take it the wrong wY. We just mean that we can depend on ourselveswhen it comes to living life. We're old enough to pay our own bills, look after ourselves, feed ourselves.

Just like you don't need a person do do those exact same things for you.

beebella · Answer

They don't need a man/relationship in order to be happy.

misogynistic_pig · Answer

They try to be just as self-sufficient as the man, try.

Qdbrown · Answer

It's a feminist battle cry. The key thing is, if they say it, they mean it.

That means leave them alone. They really just want their cats and a box of wine. Don't date them or expect their attitude to change.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

I think people think their options are improved when they’re selection is based on desire over need.
Curiously, it seems to me that people who choose based on needs tend to be happier for longer than those who prioritize desires.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Usually, "The last dude used me and discarded me."

FunkyMonkee · Answer

They have dildo! Or a girlfriend with a dildo! Or a dog! Or a horse!

Anonymous · Answer

Generally it means "I'm bitter, I want a man but I'm not getting what I want so rather than examine what i might be doing wrong. I'm just going to put up a front like I don't really even care".

Most men and women want some connection. Problem is most men and women today want it almost entirely on THIER terms.

Bricealan · Answer

Just that. They feel that they don't need a man in their life. I, personally, don't need a woman in my life, nice to have, but not necessary to make me happy.

Subarugirl · Answer

It means than I dont need to be in a relationship with a man live a happy, successful life.

It means that I chose who gets to be a part of my life because I want them there, not because I need them there.

lightbulb27 · Answer

they tried and couldn't get so they gave up and are happy on their own with their dogs and cats.

goaded · Answer

I think they mean they don't need a man to be happy, content, fulfilled, whatever. It doesn't mean they need a woman, it doesn't mean they don't want a man.

genericname85 · Answer

they are usually in their dumb teenage years (which can actually last into the 20s), where they suffer the illusion that "they don't need anyone". or they're gay xD

PainusNdeeAnus · Answer

They must order their groceries they’ll never know the joys of coming home from the grocery store and taking a dump while running the tap for some reason as your man gets all the groceries in one trip

cth96190 · Answer

I do not care what a woman’s motivation may be. I put her on the ‘do not approach’ list and move on.

DubiousIntentions · Answer

Possibly means they are gay/bi or a transexual. They sure dress like it.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Only people I ever hear utter those words are feminists. And while lots of them claim they don’t need one a lot of the certainly want one.

purplepoppy · Answer

Their vibrator batteries are fully charged.

suzzieQ · Answer

It means they dont need to be in a relationship with, or dependent on a man to be content in life.

KnewHOUSE · Answer

They got independent life style or the take care of there self. Most girls is not independent woman or women they rely on gentlemen for everything.

Jennz6 · Answer

You need us girls

Sasha0426 · Answer

They don’t NEED one but WANT one. I mean, if you NEED a partner, then that’s gonna cause some issues in your future relationships.

es20490446e · Answer

It means: "I'm afraid a man won't like me"

Anonymous · Answer

Well, if you think about it, we need women more then they need us...

six_pax · Answer

Probably well enough to do on their own. Or has no interest on u.

NachtjaegerSS · Answer

It means they have no clue how much men do for them.

Pete671 · Answer

I have no idea what women really mean at any time at all!!!

Sparkie460 · Answer

It means they are independent and can satisfy themselves

Anonymous · Answer

No adult needs another adult, but when they feel the need to say it out loud, it is an expression of deep seated insecurity.

Anonymous · Answer

They are stupidly ignoring the biological imperitiflve.. It's sad. If every single male vanished, this world would end. The human race would be done.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

It means they are low quality and it's a big red flag.

Mimi_loves_her · Answer

The either don’t need a man bc they are strong and independent or the don’t love men

Anonymous · Answer

They want to buy a cat and die alone. They just don't realise it yet.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not sure but I know damn well I need a man but no good man wants me lol. Only the ones who want hookups and I am saving myself for marriage.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Both sex need each other I wish woman would stop with the bullshit

midnightmoon05 · Answer

They mean “for now”.

douride2 · Answer

Sounds pretty straight forward to me.

Grond21 · Answer

They are infected with feminism

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

They have a dildo and are in denial.

Guardian45 · Answer

NO Fing clue!

Anonymous · Answer

AKA I have a dildo and my own bank account

What do women mean when they say, ..."I Don't Need A Man"?

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What do women mean when they say, ..."I Don't Need A Man"?

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