When a woman says, “I don’t need a man to take care /complete me” MEN hear “I don’t need them in at all”?

[Justneedtokno]

Humans are created as mates. Yes we all know, but overtime, and as a population grows the mate that you choose may not be the right one for you.
Now that law and cultural changes have been made. Women have been able to take care of themselves, instead of relying upon marriage to be taken care of. job land ownership Women are capable of much more than just servitude.

Now moving forward with the knowledge. Also, understanding that you are a whole person by yourself. the dating world has been come this power struggle almost. In who has more control. Instead of compromising and blending.

none of this means that we do not need a man you still want you we still want you around

Updates

1 y

Just to address that marriage matters
Personally
I think divorce is the absolute end and solution to failing marriage.
I have my absolutes which are consistently cheating, which is adultery and that’s in the Bible.
I do not condone domestic violence. I will not live in fear of you.
If I find out you are in molester or worse (killer)

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Women do not 'need' men. That does not mean they don't 'want' men. Just as you said.

But till now, society was as if women relied completely on men, for providing and taking care of them. It still is. But it has diminished a bit now. Now, at the moment, society is caught between dependent and independent women. That is what is problematic.

Men don't know what to think and how to behave with these women, as they don't know what they 'want' and 'need' specifically. The only reference is the history. And hence men feel that women don't even want men to be there to begin with, as in the past, it was a man's responsibility to provide for his partner, primarily.

[Justneedtokno]

Well, just as you said, look at history, and reflect on other cultural history. We’re gonna a moment in time where men can think for themselves, and do things for themselves as well. Women are letting you be free of the burden of having to deal with us half of the time working together is the only goal we need you. We also need you to evolve and adapt.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

I think guys have started evolving. I don't know the ground status at the moment. But I sure do hope for guys to be evolved.
I just think from a neutral point of view. That is cool for me. When thought logically, I don't have any kind of insecurity about my partner being independent. And I agree with that, because it is logical.

[Anonymous]

I hear ya. I hear what you said.

Misogynists however twist the meaning and make it like things you've never said. There's a reason the word misogyny exists.

Women not needing to be in a marriage with men for survival or money is a good thing. I don't want to have it any other way.

Love is having the ability to leave at will but you won't (because what for?) and keep being there.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for the most helpful opinion :)

[razelove]

I think it's a defense mechanism from women who are your age, specifically older, and find themselves in a spot where dating and finding relationships is much more difficult. When I was younger it was more difficult to sleep around not because women were evolutionarily different or anything, but because it required a lot more steps.

With so many more dating apps a fair number of women have a lot more convenience and less risk of being judged in any way hooking up, rather than jumping between relationships. That means little to no pressure to settle, and not worrying about it, until you do, and realize at 30 and on, you'll still find many guys who will dick you down, but far less who will wife you as opposed to 25 or younger.

Where, say you have a friend with benefits, or boyfriend you settled on at that age and notice the dwindling options, back-up plan secured, it's less of a problem. I put it in the same category as guys who can't get laid making excuses as to why they don't, but man, if they tried to, oh all the tail they could pull.

[caring__1]

When making a statement, make sure it is clear. Never expect others to read your mind. When someone makes a statement out of the blue, the other person will be confused as to what it actually means. If I say "I don't need spaghetti!!!" what does that mean? What was my reason for needing to make that statement? Am I taking a stand, and, if so, what is that stand? Announcements like this tend to just muddy the water, as the recipient knows something has happened but has no idea what that might be or how to address it. If you want your statement to be received more positively, how about saying "I like feeling I am capable of acquiring or accomplishing whatever I set my mind to acquiring or accomplishing, yet it's so much more enjoyable when I do it with someone I care about." "I know many people who are eager to accept handouts, yet I haven't met one who has positive self esteem. Challenging myself and gaining a sense of accomplishment allows me to feel better about what I bring to any situation."

[Guy13]

No Offense intended:

We really don’t think or hear what you are thinking that we are. What we here is “damn, that’s angry B-…don’t know what someone did to that BUT glad she took herself off the market…one less change of getting divorced.”

[Justneedtokno]

Normally when someone says no offense, it’s normally offensive.

The problem is, I’m not angry, and I’m not off the market and ask for a divorce. We are not in the future so we don’t know what will happen.

[Lionman95]

Yes in a way that when a woman says she´s independent and doesn´t need a man a guy hears her she´s self-reliant. I think the problem is that guys see their main way of providing in a relationship as giving finances, stability and other forms of structure. If a woman says she´s independent a man hears her saying he´s not needed so he won´t pursue her.

The issue is mainly that men want to feel needed in a relationship to stick around if a woman gives a guy a feeling that he´s just like an add-on or someone she likes having around but has actually no need for or no deeper goal with a guy gets disappointed and distances himself from her.

Just to be clear I don´t like the idea of a woman completely depending on a guy and I think most guys would neither. But if a woman gives us the feeling she has no deeper interest in us but loves to keep us around for moments where she´s completely down or bored an emotionally healthy guy sees no reason to pursue her. A guy that´s not emotionally health people refer to as simps for instance stick with her nevertheless but rather because they fear being left alone less because they are fond of her.

[DizzyDesii]

I wish they would understand that not needing them doesn't mean I don’t want them. I still want them but I need them to understand that I can live without them. I also need them to understand that I will buy my own shit because when other people buy you stuff, they feel like you owe them something (and I don’t mean money in return). I dont owe you shit. As for feeling complete, yes I’d feel incomplete without a dude, even if it meant 99% out of 100%. The dude will always be that 1%. But the thing is, I dont NEED to feel complete to survive. I’m content just knowing that I’m enough, more than enough. Even if I was 2%, having a baby would fulfill me 97% more, getting me to that 99%. The 1% left being a man I desire. God of course makes me feel like I’m 100% even if I may not truly be. But I know me and I know I’d still “want” a man deep down

[Sixgunsound]

At this point, new marriage is a losing proposition for men in a biased court system where the woman has every profit motive to divorce rape her husband even if he has done nothing wrong. That being the case, I can understand why today's young men are not lining up to get robbed. Especially in a culture of free tinder or bumble sex that women are told is somehow liberating. Feminism strikes again! I don't think the answer is areturn to the middle ages, but some combination of strength of character increases on both sides and ironclad prenuptial agreements to protect men's property and child access post divorce. If you can financially disincentive divorce rape, in theory it should remove some of the likelihood that it would happen. Nobody is saying divorce should be illegal or that divorce is never legitimate, I just don't think it should be a female financial strategy.

[Justneedtokno]

Ok wow

[Sixgunsound]

Do you see how other perspectives can be valid?

[Justneedtokno]

I only agree with there should be a balance for both sides. Because, in the beginning the legal system was not built for women at all.

[Sixgunsound]

Now that it is a women's world that men are merely suffered to di the unpleasant work in, what has changed?

[Justneedtokno]

It’s a man’s world as James Brown stated. Even with the few changes that has happened. It’s not a balance.
I think women that are having autonomy over their own body is simply because there’s a lot of children out of wedlock. Some women actually follow through with a relationship thought they were on the same page as their partner, and they weren’t in it for the long-haul. This is the safeguard for the shame that happens. Think about it if women have access, men have the same rights are the same access as we do as far as apps. Where is the unpleasantness?

[Sixgunsound]

The unpleasantness is when women use marriage to bankrupt men and steal their children as a means of moving up the economic ladder.

[Justneedtokno]

I’m going to need more statistics on this because this is not all women and majority of the time women have the children. And not always because she wants to. Those aren’t means of moving up on that economic ladder in many eyes that slowing people down, which is again why I say that we are not all looking to marriage, as a means to become established

[Sixgunsound]

I pointedly avoid saying all, but do you really need me to look up divorce or custody statistics for you?

[Justneedtokno]

You don’t have to because I vote whatever is beneficial for the children. I’ve personally seen both sides of the children going with the mother or the father there’s always something missing if they’re meant to be together in the first place

[Anonymous]

No one thinks you need a man. Men don't need you either. You're stating the obvious, but you're stating it for a childish reason.

Women who choose to say they don't need a man just come of like a small child saying "I'm a big girl now because I can tie my own shoes, potty in the toilet and wipe my own ass". It shouldn't be any mystery why it's off putting to normal people.

[Justneedtokno]

First of all the question was what I posted. I never put myself in the equation and I’m not one of those women that says they’re and say oh I don’t need a man or constantly telling men these things. Because I still want kids are still want was what I posted. I never put myself in the equation and I’m not one of those women that says there and say oh I don’t need a man or constantly telling men these things. Because I still want kids I still want to be married all of those things, and. stuff like that turns men away. Not trying to scare them off.

[Opinion Owner]

When I said "you", I was referring to women in general, not you in particular. I'm glad you are not one of those women.

[Opinion Owner]

I read some of your responses to others here and it seems you may have some misconceptions about marriage, divorce and child custody, so I wanted to provide some facts.

Half of marriages end in divorce, and in 80% of those cases it is the wife who files for divorce. A lot of people think that's because the husband cheated or was abusive, but studies show the infidelity rate between married men and women is almost the same, and so is the rate or spousal abuse. All the statistics are easily available to anyone who cares to look them up. But cheating and abuse are not the biggest reasons for divorce. The number one reason is lack of commitment, and women file 80% of the time. Think about that.

psychcentral.com/.../top-reasons-for-divorce

Also, among heterosexual, lesbian and gay marriages, the highest divorce rate by far is among lesbians, the lowest is among gay men, and straight couples are somewhere in the middle, but much close to the gay marriage divorce rate. Today's women lack commitment, and that is ruining marriage.

[Opinion Owner]

Regarding child custody, fathers get primary custody only 17.5% of the time. That's the official number and it has changed very little for decades.

When fathers do get custody, the rate of deadbeat mothers is far higher than the rate of deadbeat fathers. On average, custodial mothers get 60% of what they are owed in support while custodial fathers only get 48%. Not only do fathers pay more in support if they don’t have custody, they generally work more hours. Studies have shown that 24.5% of single custodial dads work more than 44 hours a week while only 7% of custodial moms work over 40 hours a week. In addition, custodial dads get less government help than moms.

www.supportcollectors.com/.../

You are correct that things are not balanced and the legal system is biased, but it's actually biased against men, not women, and women take advantage of that fact far too much. It's not a man's world and hasn't been for a long time. Men have some advantages and women have others, but most women don't have the honesty to acknowledge theirs

[Justneedtokno]

There is no misconception about marriage. I stayed at the reasons that I would get a divorce. The issue most of the time is money and not being honest. I stayed at the reasons that I would get a divorce. The issue most of the time is money and not being honest. Awesome Liu do sadistic‘s and research. You have to pull multiple places I’m not researching the reason for divorce or anything like that. I was merely talking about dating and relationships but again, marriage is like the ultimate commitment on both ends both sides seem to be just settling. We already know statistically proven that men live longer in a marriage versus a woman Women live longer outside of a marriage, then men

[Opinion Owner]

That's false. The studies that suggested married men live longer were deeply flawed for two major reasons. First, to know how long someone will live, you have to wait until they die. So by necessity those studies used old men who were married decades ago when marriage and women were very different than they are today. Men who married back then certainly did benefit from marriage, as did women. But younger men who marry today benefit far less from marriage then men f the past did. If the same studies are done 30 years from now the results will be very different.

Second, the studies grouped divorced men with single men, not married men. The huge number of men who were married and then had their lives destroyed by divorce significantly skewed the the results in obvious ways. One of the biggest reasons marriage is harmful to men today is BECAUSE of divorce, so applying that factor to the unmarried group rather than the married group is insanely inaccurate.

Here's the truth about how marriage affects men. The lucky minority of married men who have a lasting, happy marriage do indeed benefit from it, as do the women. But the vast majority of married men are not so lucky. Half of them will get divorced, and many of the ones who don't divorce are in unhappy marriages. Those studies are dangerously misleading.

[Justneedtokno]

That’s the problem y’all are preparing for divorce instead of actually preparing to stay married to the person. But alas it doesn’t matter I stated my reasons for divorce in the post. All of it seems like men and women just don’t want to settle in because there’s so much access in the world to other people you have that option and choice now you don’t have to settle on one person and be married to that person, forever and with a lot of cases, a lot of people, don’t care about marriage as much as they did in the past because of religious purposes are non-religious purposes now. As for myself, I think marriage is sacred and important It’s hard to think that you can just marry for love. I really starting to think that marriage is merely a business proposition because that’s what it used to be.

[Opinion Owner]

"That’s the problem y’all are preparing for divorce instead of actually preparing to stay married to the person."

Huh? Can you explain this to me? It makes no sense so I must be missing something.

[Justneedtokno]

You’ve only talked about divorce, divorce, divorce divorce you have not said anything about actually dating relationship being with that person actually trying to try you only talked about the end goal of a man’s marriage. Obviously, they’re not on the same page to begin with so they’re settling they’re not in a real relationship for it to even get to a divorce.

[Opinion Owner]

That's not true. My first couple of posts had nothing to do with marriage or divorce. I then responded to some specific comments you made in response to someone else, which were about marriage and divorce. It seemed clear you had some misconceptions about marriage and divorce so I responded to them and provided some facts. So it was actually you who started on that subject, not me.

No one going into marriage is "preparing for divorce instead of actually preparing to stay married". Otherwise they would never get married in the first place, which is what is happening with men today.

[Juxtapose]

If someone says they don't need a romantic partner, I have trouble relating to them.

Having a mate is a common emotional need. Technically you can survive without a mate but you can also survive without any people to ever talk to but you won't have fun.

[Anonymous]

I've been told that and prefer my persona of the man in black, a cynic who needs no-one, the sociopathic businessman who lives a fine life on his own terms, the hideous beast who only emerges from it's lair to hunt and care not for the society around itself

[NathanDavis]

I would just ask them what do they mean by that... if I cared to know, anyway... lol

[Stressyalaire]

Don't forget about "independent"! They fear that word.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Not correct. An independent woman is preferred in fact.
Just the attitude is not. Vocally and visibly expressing and keeping the mentality of you not needing anyone is just bad for yourself. Don't you think?

[Stressyalaire]

I agree with you! But the word seems to trigger a lot of men along with "modern women"

[Stressyalaire]

@The_Shadow_Dweller The guys who fear the words are insecure or hateful. The good ones know what the words actually mean.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Guess I am one of the good ones then!

[Stressyalaire]

@The_Shadow_Dweller YEAH! Surprisingly the sensible ones seem to be answering the question. Hope restored :)

[Jamie05rhs]

I understand what you're saying. But the fact is a lot of women DON'T really want a man (as a person, that is.). They just want the male body.

[msc545]

you don't need us - we also don't need you.

[KrakenAttackin]

@msc545. And let's face it, men need women far less than women need men.

[Justneedtokno]

Lol you’re missing the point

[Justneedtokno]

@KrakenAttackin here you go lol

[msc545]

@KrakenAttackin yes