Why are so many women expected to work while most men can’t figure out how to balance domestic labor?

Question

Even just figuring out how to be a house manager and divide the chores… why does that responsibility fall on the woman?
I’m a traditionalist who believes pretty much all the domestic labor and childcare falls on me, and it’s fine if people are more modern too! But it just seems to fuck over most women because a lot of men are lazy and entitled, even to points where she’s a sole breadwinner and basically taking care of him as a third toddler child. These men seem pathetic to me, a lot of their manhood is lost by putting most of the family responsibilities and burdens on the women rather than helping to fairly sorting out the workload and then actually helping without being forced to. I can understand how resentment would build up and that may be why 80% of women are the ones who file for divorce.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I work from home, my ex doesn't work - we share 3 kids. I have them Tuesday after school and overnight, Friday after school and overnight; alternate weekends = Sat till 4:30 vs Saturday overnight till Sunday 12pm

Tuesday: I do the school run, get them to do their homework while I work, prepare/cook/serve their dinner while I work, take one of them to their club after work, get back, sort the other two in terms of pyjamas, brushed teeth and hair, bedtimes. Have my dinner, collect the other child from his club, get him organised for bed.

Weds morning: I get them up, breakfast, vitamins, organised, dressed, school run.

Friday: I do the school run, get them to do their homework while I work, sort their dinner while I work, get them into pyjamas so I can do their two loads of laundry for the week, get their teeth and hair brushed, bedtimes. Have my dinner, get the other child organised for bed.

I take them to ALL their doctors, hospital, opticians and other medical appointments, even when it's not my day to have them. I talk to them every day, without fail.

Saturday/Sunday - I take them out every day I can for exercise, fun, culture/heritage/learning, and try and get them back to nature. I take them shopping, out for a meal, etc. I bath them and make sure they change their clothes, hair and nails are clean and tidy.

My partner cooks on a Tuesday for her and I, I cook for the kids Tues, Fri, Sat and their breakfasts Weds and Sat/Sun. I cook for my partner and I on Weds, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon. I load and unload the dishwasher most days. I put out the rubbish and recycling every day, and the wheelie bin every week. My partner does our laundry, most food shopping, hoovers once a week, and changes the bedding once a week. I help with cleaning around the house on an ongoing basis - mostly kitchen and bathroom. I help with the garden and the dog.

Heolurt · Accepted Answer

Oh we can, but why come home after working all day to clean up after the person who has been home all day? It's situations like that, where guys are going to choose to stay at work longer, at least we would get paid for it and we wouldn't be nagged at.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Many women work because they want to, not because it's expected of them.

It's not fair to say men can't figure out how to balance domestic labor when the majority probably haven't tried. It hasn't been required of them. I think most men could do it, but it wouldn't be the same way a woman does it. That doesn't make it wrong, just different.

Apple1996 · Accepted Answer

Only a man that can't provide would expect a woman to work

Anonymous · Answer

Over simplistic and one sided.

I find it unlikely that 80% of women file for divorce primarily due to a subset of men not doing enough chores.

We're might consider the conditions that such kids were raised in, given a single parent epidemic.

And the kind of women that choose these lazy and entitled men that are third toddler children.

inhua · Answer

men are expected to work or they get shamed as losers. women aren't expected to work but they choose to do so anyway.

men have already figured out the balance of domestic labor. the roles women do i. e. cooking, cleaning etc. is suppose to happen multiple times a day. the roles men do i. e. chopping trees, moving heavy furniture, fighting off home intruders happens much less frequently but shouldn't be mistaken for laziness.

Anonymous · Answer

Historically men worked and women took care of the domestic responsibilities. That has obviously changed, but it wasn't men who wanted it to change. It was women. Women asked to do men's work and just expected men to change and and start doing women's work. Women changed the game and just assumed men would want to continue playing, but by their new rules.

Now that the economy has fully adjusted to the two income model that women have created, both men and women need to work, and women complain that they have to work AND take care of domestic chores. And whose fault is that?

You've made your bed and now you have to lie in it.

humanearth · Answer

If she the beard winner, I'll stay home and run the farm. But we need two incomes to survive. She runs the farm and I work at a good paying job

Berethor · Answer

You 18-24, have children already? in my country there is laws that support homemakers.

Anonymous · Answer

The majority of men are not as you describe. Some are, most are not. The ones who are were likely raised by a single mother who was like this:

jshm2 · Answer

Get your head out your ass.  How your family operates, is not how every family operates. Also, you're generalizing and have not presented anything worth backing with facts.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm a stay at home dad. I was also the bread winner for years. Your thought is flawed.

NachtjaegerSS · Answer

Poor trolling.

Why are so many women expected to work while most men can’t figure out how to balance domestic labor?

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