Just curious how common or uncommon, it is, or is not.
Most Helpful Opinions
I voted "I want a life partner but it’s are as far as I’m going."
I always wanted a girlfriend for female companionship and sex but I didn't start thinking about being open to the idea of marriage until I passed my mid-30s because marriage is for life. And I never really wanted to deal with kids. I didn't want the responsibility.
The thought of passing on my genes and family name was tempting. But, in the end, I'm glad I never had the burden of children. I did finally marry a wonderful woman, though, when I was 42.11
I'm not suppose to ever have kids so babies are out of the picture for me (whether I like it or not). I do might want to marry though at least, even though my future partner can't live with me. And since taking care of a pet would be like taking care of a baby, it's best I take care of plants instead. I know I was talking to my mom about how different my life will be from my older siblings just because of the way I am made. But I'm trying to think of the positives of these types of things by myself.0
When I was younger, I wanted to grow up, have a partner and 2 kids, but that idea just does not appeal to me anymore. I'm not good with kids and I don't want to bring someone into this world and fail them as a parent. Without kids, my life would be carefree. I would very much like a partner though. I don't want to get married, but if he wants to, sure, I don't mind. I want pets too. Preferably a kitten or a puppy.39
What Girls & Guys Said
Where's the I want a life partner, no kids, no more than one pet and maybe a few plants?
Your choices are too confusing...
A. I want a life to partner no kids.
B. I want a life partner, and kids of my own or through adoption
C. No partner no kids
D. Kids no partner
The pets and plants just make it too confusing.
Anyway, someone who does not want kids is very appealing to me at 46 years old, my kids are grown and raised, and I am done with that.0
Nah, I want the kids too. But you might be surprised how difficult it is to find a woman I’d want to have kids with.0
Not me. I want children.0
I want happiness and I think I'll either achieve that via a long term relationship (no marriage) without kids or just being single without kids either way.
If the ideal partner exists, then I'd definitely be happier if they were my partner.21
I've thought about this since age 20's or so... and I still feel the same way about it...
I could go either way and be happy, whether or not, the one I love wants children... I will be genuinely happy with her, kids, no kids, adopt...
same goes for pets we could go with or without, but I would very much prefer she loves animals and wants pets too
if she dislikes or even hates animals, that's a NO GO... lol11
its what I have now, life partner with kids from her prior marriage. So I help raise them and won't be more kids, unless we got crazy and adopted. I like that idea purely from the idea of giving to others less fortunate, but I know it's a lot of stress.
If I could wind back the clock and be confident in myself, I'd have a kid. But I know that's a tall order and a lot of work. I wouldn't want to leave an orphan in the world nor be a single parent, so it's always scared me.11
Kind of what I am looking for now , A girl that wants to spoil each other and do things together , I don’t want more babies , I did my time , my kids are getting older and on their way out into the world , so I want to meet a girl that wants to travel and do things together and be by my side29
Too late for me. Shot my sperm and have two of the little turds. Love em to death.
Kids will forever change your relationship dynamic, because they force us as parents, to be selfless. They take away attention to your spouse, which for my wife was and is very hard.
But kids also form the bond of family. When it was just me and my wife, it wasn't really "family". It was all roses, romance, and complete focus on eachother.
With kids, its a different kind of love. Honestly the romance is pretty much absent now. Its birthday parties, playing princesses, staying up late doing chores, lame dad jokes, giggles, stressful vacations, and lots of coffee.
Its still an adventure, just a different journey10
Yes, many people may want a life partner but not want to have children. Everyone has different priorities and desires in life, and for some individuals, the idea of raising children may not align with their goals or lifestyle. Some people may prefer to focus on their career or other personal pursuits, while others may not feel emotionally or financially ready for the responsibilities of parenthood. Additionally, there are many different ways to build a fulfilling and meaningful life and family, and having children is not the only path. Some people may choose to build a family through adoption, surrogacy, or other means, while others may not feel the need to have children at all.11
I really don't know. Some days I think that I want to get married and have kids, other times I think I would be happy with a life partner. Sometimes I think that bringing another black child to this world would be a bad idea. So I need to figure that out.0
Well eventually someday in the future (not now) I do want a life partner but I don't need to be married and I don't need to have kids on my own.
I never considered getting married and having kids as something special and it was never a life goal of mine.
While friends would dream about their wedding, I would dream about traveling and being free.1
I want a life partner and kids actually but in good timing and preferably only 1-2 kids and a pet for them as well. I just picture myself having a small family and feel myself fit into it more. I’ve known I’ve wanted to be a mom since I was young but it’s just not something that happens overnight for most people but I’m not giving up on my dreams. I don’t judge people if they don’t want children though.0
The purpose of having children is to perpetuate your bloodline. This concept dates back to the very beginning of history. Bloodlines have, and still do, determine royal succession to the throne.
That said, history has dictated that in order to have children one must be married. This has been a problem throughout history because some women or men were sterile. Many compensated with lovers so we can't always be sure of a direct bloodline inherits the throne legitimately.
The fact that most of us are not in this situation, having children, or for that matter, deciding to take on a partner for life, has been more of an option that a necessity.10
Chose other because i want a life partner but it doesn't matter to me if it's with kids or not, i'd like to have a kid but if not than it's okay cause i already have one!
What i want is real love and a real marriage, kids one day will grow up and leave to have their own lives and only your other half will remain with you forever...12
I want a life partner but I've decided not to decide on kids as there is a high chance I can't have them, so I'm staying on the fence and leaving it to fate.
Although I would need a life partner with same mind set, otherwise I would risk feeling awful if they wanted them and I couldn't or if they didn't and I conceived.0
honestly, I think there are more men who want kids than women who want kids nowadays. Its quite sad because this likely means there will be a lot of men who wouldn't have kids throughout their lives. A man can't have kids unless he finds a woman who is willing to have his children.0
When I was thirteen to roughly twenty five years old, I wanted to be like one of those sitcom fathers and have a wife and a few kids. Now that I'm thirty two and still single, I really don't care anymore. I'd like a wife, at least but children are a big responsibility and with my recent bout of brain cancer, I don't think it's that important any more. I would hate to drop dead and leave her a widow and a mother.0
The only rational reason I can see for me to marry would be to pass my assets on without the federal government and the state taking a cut. And as far as a partner goes, my record is under a year so "life" partner seems unlikely for me at my current level of maturity, or rather lack thereof.1
Definitely no children but happy with pets and plants.
I'd be happy with a long term relationship so long as there is a suitable pre nup attached. You have to assume there will be a breakup at some point and I am not going to risk my assets.
But if no long term relationship happens no big deal.10
I have got what I want. A life partner and no kids. Plants are fine, especially succulents as they need very little looking after. Def not green fingered. I can even kill off weeds!13
Maybe a bit greedy, but I low key want a "throuple" or multi-partnership. Not that the women would be beholden to me, I'm into open relationships and they can be with whomever they want. But I like the idea of more than one life partner, and also that that "life" status can include time away from each other. While I love kids, I don't see my life having time to raise them properly, so it's a matter of making the smart choice not to have them. Which is part of why I'm getting a vasectomy on Tuesday! (woot!)
For example I want to sail the Pacific Rim, but one of my lovers is deathly afraid of the ocean, deep water ("sharks and aliens", she says), and said that maybe just maybe she would with me because she trusts me, but also probably not because she's terrified. So that's fine, she can stay on land, and I go out sailing.
But I also have a couple other lovers who LOVE the idea of sailing and adventuring out on the ocean, so maybe one or more of them will like to go with me. But also, life gets in the way so no telling what will happen with their career or other life plans, maybe they won't be able to get away. But I don't think that should "end" our relationship. It should be flexible and long-term; growing with us as we grow.
Another aspect to my life is I am becoming a nurse, and likely a travel nurse, which means I will be off on assignments 3/4 of the year, and only on vacation or back home 3 months (13 weeks) each year. Depending where I will be, I may not be near my lover (s)/partner (s), but I feel like a romantic relationship is more than just physical location. The partner above that is afraid of the ocean, we've been close for almost a decade now, and during part of that she was married to someone else (but still in contact with me, and told her husband there was no way she would ever not love me, even if we weren't having sex/dating).
Tried the wife and girlfriend thing. Problem is, they won't be friends. In fact they despised each other. Life was great for me, but miserable for them
@mobiusforniner yeah for sure, it can be tough to make a good chemistry with different personalities. There could be something you love about your girlfriend that sets her apart from your wife, but that same thing is what makes them incompatible. I don't necessarily need my partners to get along/love each other, as they don't often interact as it is now. Respect is enough, but yeah for an ocean voyage in close quarters, that chemistry is more critical. For the future I also want to see what it could be like to find out how compatible my lovers are with each other. A few of them are also into women, so there is potential for them to enjoy each other more than platonically.
That was exactly the issue for me. My girlfriend was everything my wife wasn't and vice versa. So i had the best of two worlds. But women are necessarily competitive and possessive. Naturally both tried to out show the other in everything. It made the dynamic extremely tense and insecurity was rampant. And, for my girlfriend, its was always a losing game since wife is #1. Ultimately I let my girlfriend go. Wife is much happier...