Would you forgive a cheating spouse if it happened years ago?

Question

Would you forgive your spouse cheating if it happened years ago (10 years) and now have children? Would you fight or would you leave?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Honestly, I’ve forgiven my ex of 10 years for cheating so many times. He even had a baby on me. I forgave him, became cordial with the baby mother, loved the baby like my own. We are no longer together mainly because I feel like I deserve better, beyond the cheating.
I guess it depends on the person. I always knew my worth so I didn’t stay because I couldn’t find better- but because I felt like a part of a relationship was leaning to forgive, compromise, and accept flaws. Cheating is different but I forgave and let it go. But again- I’m different. Cheating is a definite no to some people.

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

Maybe I am strange, but I am wayy more likely to forgive if they apologize right after it happened than to stay with me and then later on I find out by chance myself.

It is like I may never have found out and they wanted to keep it secret forever and in that case the odds of me forgiving are next to null.

If they confess ten years after the fact, its slightly above null.

If they confess right after its a 100 times slightly above null he'll be forgiving.

It is never good odds but the odds can be significantly increased by doing it sooner.

Backnforth · Accepted Answer

People make mistakes, so if they were honest and told me straight away and we worked it out, there might be a small chance of forgiveness. But if I found out 10 years later, and they were hiding it and lying the entire time, that's waaaay worse and would never deserve forgiveness. But I don't have kids. If kids were involved, I'd probably stay with her for them, but I'd be sleeping with other people rather than with the person who broke my trust.

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

Absolutely not.

If she's been lying to me for years... there is no reason whatsoever to think that she's not still lying. She obviously is fine with you "not knowing" so I could never trust her again.

To me, this is uncomplicated. It being a long time ago is not a mitigating factor at all. She's a liar and a cheater who is content to deceive you. How can anyone stay with someone like that?

Guy13 · Answer

If it was ten years ago and you are still together then it should be clear that this person still has feeling for you. People make mistakes and that is what this person did. And they recognized it and changed years ago. What's the issue.

TrueConfection · Answer

I'd probably file for a divorce, but I have a question.

In this situation you are describing, would I have known for the past 10 years about the cheating or would I have just now found out that the cheating took place 10 years ago?

This just determines my level of wrath.

cryscrys1 · Answer

10 years ago?
That’s a very long time. And it’s supposed she learns it after 10 years what happened?
Cheating is bad and there is no guarantee it only happened 10 years ago. That’s the problem with cheating. I don’t see relationships this heavenly supported if they cheat leave why question it. Nothing crazy to change life paths. Unless you are registered for an organ donor and he matches your kidney well stay why not

mstbooblover · Answer

After so many years, that would just be history no one can change. What would really have changed in the woman I loved? It's actually only an information, although I probably still would moderately like to understand. Mind we are just humans and no machines.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

10 years ago and now we have kids? I'd probably stay BUT ONLY if I can dunk on the bitch. Like id demand to have everything my way and I'd sleep around on her anytime I want going forward. If she wasn't down, I would absolutely leave 100% and not be supportive of her at all or as little as possible.

Anemone978 · Answer

I would be pissed if I got told my guy cheated on me 10 years ago... There would have to be a lot of talking and explaining.. if it was a mistake yeah I could forgive it... if he was just messing around... i don't know...

DizzyDesii · Answer

Nah fck them. We’ll coparent cause we gettin divorced

hIopinionated_ · Answer

Never. It would be over as soon as I am aware of the cheating and I’ll also be upset I didn’t know sooner. For, if I knew, I never would have had kids with him

loveslongnails · Answer

When did you find out about it, now or have you known for 10 years? If you're just learning about it now and nothing has happened in the past 10 years to indicate there's been any cheating, and you've had a good marriage, why blow it up now?

billmunch · Answer

Sure, no problem. I have zero problem forgiving cheating. Cheating isn't a deal breaker in a relationship with me, so long as she doesn't do it with my friends or get pregnant

Sasha0426 · Answer

I’ll ask if I’m allowed to cheat on him. Because if he’s allowed to hurt me, I can hurt him, right? It’s only fair 🤷‍♀️

exitseven · Answer

Years ago I would have said No, No way but the older I get the more I realize that people make mistakes. If it was a one time thing and it never happened again I might try and forgive her.

emmaa1 · Answer

Minding your age, were you just too young for anything serious, were you even married? most cases Cheated before would cheat again.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Forgive, yes. Stay with, no. Forgiving a thief does not mean you have to let the person have free run of your home. Likewise, forgiving a cheater does not mean you have to give her the opportunity for a repeat performance.

driven159 · Answer

Does not matter when it is cheating kick them down the road and for ten years you have been lied to If you were not good enough then you're not good enough now. And it makes the last ten years a waste.

Keishio · Answer

If you haven't split up and it's been 10 years I feel its unfair to continue to bring it up. You either have to let go or leave. If it still bothers you after 10 years then you should have left years ago

LovingJo · Answer

It depends on the circumstances, why they did it, the proof they could provide and how the relationship between us, was at that moment in time. 💯

Stressyalaire · Answer

He should have come clean right away. I can forgive but not forget. We would have to part ways.

EmmaMary · Answer

We would quite simply have been divorced ten years ago... Period.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I don't give a shit WHEN it happened! If it happened, she's GONE! PERIOD!

A_Nihilist · Answer

Who knows just how much else they have lied about in that time? They'd be out on their ass in a heartbeat.  Cheating is unforgivable.

sheikalana · Answer

I'm willing to forgive but some serious and uncomfortable conversations would have to happen.

Juxtapose · Answer

No, they did something I would never be personally forgiven for if I did it so why should I forgive them?

Jhunitor · Answer

Guys, as they say in the country of the rising Burger : "If she cheats, she is for the street". Don't be a cuck, respect yourself.

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

Nope. Goodbye, get out of my life. I'd also get a paternity test to make sure the kids are mine.

BJP21 · Answer

For me who's been in a non marriage relationship, I would allow 1 hall pass if you will. If it was the one and only time it ever happened.

lottiebannotie · Answer

Depends on the state of the relationship I mean was this a regretted mistake early doors was it a sustained affair so many variables

AdithyaR · Answer

I'd leave. Cheating gets no forgiveness from me. No explanation, no apologies, we're done.

admles · Answer

Nope. Zero tolerance policy on cheating.

inhua · Answer

get a DNA test first

Agape93 · Answer

Nope. Never forgive, never forget.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Nope. I don't even communicate with exes.

MissHope · Answer

I can forgive anything but not a cheater.

AsaKyo · Answer

No, we wouldn't even be together

MadAndBankrupt · Answer

Where is my gun.. here it is🔫

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not a cuckold.

JesseJayNeak · Answer

Forgive? Yes. I’d still divorce her though

melanieeeB · Answer

Hell to the no

Anonymous · Answer

Hell no.

Anonymous · Answer

Nope

Slim57 · Answer

No..

Would you forgive a cheating spouse if it happened years ago?

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Would you ever forgive your spouse from marriage for cheating?

Would you forgive a cheating spouse if it happened years ago?

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Would you ever forgive your spouse from marriage for cheating?

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