Why won’t my partner of 1 1/2 years prioritize me anymore?

[Anonymous]

My partner has plans with his friends once a day. I don’t wanna be the bad guy and want him to prioritize me. Dating for 1 1/2 years living 6 months. He thinks making dinner then spending the night with friends is normal. What should I do? I want his to prioritize me. We hardly ever have a weekend off together recently we did and he didn’t prioritize to spend it together but make four sets of plans taking up 3-8 hours depending leaving us no time to spend time together besides dinner with his parents and assembling a bed frame that isn’t intimate. We have been living together for 6 months. After the weekend the next day Monday he said let’s watch a movie tonight so that was the plan but he got a text from a friend to go rock climbing and did that instead didn’t get home until late left at 9 pm got home at 10:40 pm and I got jealous because it’s a girl he went on a date with before we meet and apparently it didn’t work out but they flirt and I think the worse.

Updates

1 y

Mentioned pritorization on Sunday and he said we spent time together eating and having a meal with his parents. He is completely delusional. This happened this weekend that past today is not Tuesday. I went to bed ignored him said no sex and that I wanted to sleep. He said I am not communicating which I am not I am just frustrated how he would let this happen

Updates

1 y

Plus I was working a 9 day stretch during this and overtime on top

[Guy13]

Not prioritizing one's partner whether 6 months or 60 years is not wise. It sounds like he is taking you for granted. Have you really sat down calmly over a coffee or breakfast and talked this out. This is definitely must share feelings about thing before it blossoms into full fledged resentment...

[Asker]

I did he canceled one plan on Saturday but rescheduled it for Sunday instead defeating the purpose. And during the time it was ‘our time’ we assembled a bedframe

[Guy13]

Did you talk during bed frame assembly. I would have taken advantage of that. Talking about being stuck and having to listen...

[Asker]

He hasn’t been as attentive lately. He is mad I think that I asked him to lighten the burden of choice. I have been doing them all. Originally he agreed to do stuff and wouldn’t not he says he’ll do stuff and doesn’t do it. Garbage and compost three day delay, dishes put away over a week I started as there was no room and asked him to do it but felt like I was nagging him. I hate reminding him

[OlderAndWiser]

Not making you a priority AND spending time with a girl he dated previously and they still flirt. How do you think this appears to others who are on the outside looking in?

[Asker]

He claims they don’t but they 100% do

[OlderAndWiser]

Do you trust him in the way that you would want to trust a permanent partner?

[Asker]

I did. He has hurt me a lot these past months not thinking of us goals we have set forth but individual financial goals and that was a frustrating hurdle to overcome. He wanted to invest in property instead of sticking with our plan to save up for a house and make the one time 5 % exception for first one home buyers and jeopardizing so much more. It hurts

[OlderAndWiser]

Living together is like looking into a crystal ball and seeing your future. You are getting a good glimpse of what your future wth this guy will be. Is this what you want? If not, why would you expect him to change in your future?

[Asker]

He thinks we can build and establish but it has felt one sides as of late and had to fight for our shared goals but they feel like they slip more than they should. We agreed 2-3 years he will be ready to commit and not hang out with friends as much I fear he won’t be ready

[OlderAndWiser]

"He thinks we can build. . ." He is going to tell you whatver s convenient and gets him what he wants. What do YOU think?

"We agreed 2-3 years he will be ready to commit and not hang out with friends as much" If he loves you and wants a life with you, why can't he do that now? What does it mean for you to say that you two are "together" when you don't actually spend much time together?

[Asker]

I feel like shit and not a priority more like a conscience to his schedule

[OlderAndWiser]

If you don't want a future wth this guy, then you know what you need to do.

[Anonymous]

NO straight male…. And I mean absolutely NO straight male, have a female ‘friend’.
They have females who they want to have sex with but that don’t want to have sex with them and keep them on the gentle flirt leash so they can get attention and stuff.

[Asker]

I believe it. Just mad he said they weren’t intimidate ever

[Asker]

I am frustrated

[Paul09]

Yeah not really true. You telling me, you want to fu&k every single woman on the planet. I doubt that very much. What are you a teenage boy?

[Opinion Owner]

@Paul09 dude seriously stop.
Read before you bother replying. And stop with the school yard shaming tactics.

NO straight male…. And I mean absolutely NO straight male, have a female ‘friend’.

Nowhere did I say that we want to have sex with every woman on the planet. If you claim that you wake up and text the fat ugly beast female because she “has a great personality” and you want to see how her nite was, you’re lying.
You text the pretty girl, you make time in your schedule for the girls that are attractive but you do not go out of your way for a girl you are bot sexually interested in.

[Paul09]

You really get offended with this subject. Real mature adults, do have female friends. I've had plenty. You telling everyone how everyone thinks or does things , makes no sense. Friends cone in different sexes and ages. If you can't do that, that's your problem. Don't stress out.

[Opinion Owner]

@Paul09 at no point was I offended bud. You definitely do a lot of assuming.

[boggboss]

Have u actually spoken to him about this

[Asker]

Yes, he brushed it off. Said we spent time together eating, visiting his parents and assembling a bed frame. That isn’t intimate

[boggboss]

Then u need to explain that and if he dont view it differently then u need to decide if u are happy with it like this

[Asker]

I sadly did. Yesterday he also asked if I wanted to be a housewife and I thought that conversation dropped. It reservists and I told him it goes against my wants and desires. I don’t have income or security. I am 100 dependent on you and I don’t pay my own bills. He can easily financially abuse me and he brought up point I didn’t agree with and we dropped it. It’s still in his mind and I can’t provide

[boggboss]

Then clearly u guys have different wants and needs and this ain't going to work

[Asker]

I am thinking so. He says we can work through it anything but lately I have been having doubts

[boggboss]

How can u work through it when u have a problem and he is not willing to fix it

[Asker]

We have been working through a lot of shared goals he has trickled away from as of late. It’s frustrating I feel like it’s a burden to equally share chores responsibilities, and prioritize each other as of late. I have no problem I make time without him asking I have to convince him almost and I don’t know when the switch happened

[boggboss]

Knowing when it happened don't really matter thi as he ain't willing to change

[Asker]

What if he shows signs then steps back again

[boggboss]

Then u will know he is not truly changing