Why doesn’t my fiance put me as a priority?

[Anonymous]

we have been together for 10 years. our past has not been easy. he was not in a good place when we first started dating- he used to like girls bikini and butt pictures all the time now he doesn’t do that anymore (supposedly). anyway it still hurts me till this day that he does that so i argue all the time and ask him why he did this and that. he had always put his friends first, but then it got better and the past few months all he does is put them as a priority. he will hangout with them and once he’s ready to go home he’ll call me asking if i want to hang out at 10pm-11pm and im half asleep at that time because i work. he always tells me he’ll put me as a priority but doesn’t. what could the reason be that he doesn’t put me as one? will he ever change?

[Anonymous]

11 years and you’re barely a fiancé? He hasn’t been making you a priority for a minute and that’s really not ok. At this point he is who he is in the relationship and as a person, so you really have to decide if this is what you want for the rest of your life. You can’t love him into changing or being who you need him to be, and who he was in the past is irrelevant to who he’s become now. As painful as it would be to leave I wouldn’t settle for this, there are so many better options. You can’t get all the time back you invested but you don’t have to devote another decade to being unhappy.

[SolsticeSnow]

How can you expect to be a priority for him... when you are not even your own?

When you saw he was liking all these women's butt pictures - you continued to date him!

He prioritises everyone else before you - you continued to date him!

He asks to call round when he knows you're soon to be asleep like some sort of booty call - you continue to date him!

Honey, value yourself.

Also, you cannot make someone respect you who doesn't want to. Sorry but show him the door.

One side note: you've been arguing with thus guy for years about his disrespectful liking of bikini photos. That's not normal. If you can't let something go (which by the way, you have every right to feel) in the future then break up with them asap.

[ThrillSeeker01]

He doesn't spend nearly enough time with you. I would work out a way to have a lot more quality time with him. If he doesn't want to that's an issue and kind of like a deal breaker, at least for me

[Asker]

he only wants to when he’s done hanging out with his friends which is 10pm-11pm or barely never. like last night was Friday, he choose to hangout with his friends and not with me. he told me yesterday that he’s not happy and he doesn’t want to answer any of my phone calls because i never say anything besides questions or how he sucks.

[ThrillSeeker01]

This relationship isn't going anywhere. I honestly think that you should move on.

[ThrillSeeker01]

Thanks for the MHO.

[boggboss]

You nag him he ignores u this relationship is dead in the water he won't Vange because he dont want to change meh

[Asker]

he said that he’s not happy because all i do is ask him questions, tell him how he sucks and i argue. so im guessing this is why he barely answers my calls or why he barely calls me back.

[wolfcat87]

Uhhh, you already know what he's like. Why are you trying to change him? That's not how this works or how it will ever work. You aren't a priority to him, and what he wants and who he is isn't to you either. This is not a good relationship.