Why is it so hard to be just friends with someone you like?

[Anonymous]

I want to be more than friends with this guy but I can’t…we’ve known each other for years now after meeting at university and he would show signs of liking me. I admitted I liked him but he said he didn’t feel the same way so I let it go and for a few years we didn’t talk and he moved away. Recently we’ve started talking again but it’s really hard to be just friends with him…he knows how I feel and I can’t have more even though he is being friendly etc…why is it so hard and why did he want to reconnect anyway knowing I like him?

[serious]

It is not hard for someone who are very good at understanding things and controlling their feelings/emotions but for someone who is completely controlled by their feelings then it will be very hard for them.

[Paul_in_Indy]

I don’t know why this is hard for you. It is not for me. I am happy to be friends; even if I am hoping for more. I think this is something you might want to work on. We all need every friend we can get.

[petitedollbabee]

Because you’re lying to yourself. You can’t just be friends with someone that you want more than friendship with. It’ll just hurt you long term.

[SnowedIn]

It's hard because you want more than just friends. And it's going to be even harder if they eventually get a girlfriend.

... but...

... the hard of right now and the hard of if they have a girlfriend is nothing compared to not being friends.

That's why being friends is worth it. If you like that person, it's better to be able to enjoy that human in whatever capacity you can.

[Jamie05rhs]

Sorry, but I think this is terrible advice. Haha

[SnowedIn]

I respect that. Care to elaborate?

[aaron210419]

You answered your own question. If you like someone this usually implies that you'd like something more than a friendship

[Caliguy88]

I think maybe at first. I’m always pretty open about my feelings so we can find out and just move forward.

[Twalli]

Maybe he's starting to like you.

[Nikki1989]

What is so hard about it?