My love language is physical touch yet I hate it when my parents/other people touch me. why is that?

[Anonymous]

I feel like hugging someone makes me feel vulnerable and I don’t like that so why is that my love language?

[serious]

Strange, your thinking and your actions are contradictory. However, in my view I think your love language is very limited and is not for people in general. For eg maybe you would not mind if a baby touched you and you would not mind giving kisses and cuddles to a baby but that is not the case with other people.

If this is not the case then maybe your love language is different and you are not aware of that yet.

[Asker]

like i was super affectionate with my ex (we broke up a little over a week ago) but I can’t hug my parents or friends without feeling weird. I don’t even remember the last time I hugged my friends.

[serious]

I understand so that means your love language is very limited to only certain people and I think you control to whom it is limited to

[Anonymous]

Your love language is NOT touch. If it was = NO issues with touching other people. People whose love language IS touch ENJOY touching and being touched by others.

.

Being "super affectionate" with your ex boyfriend means nothing without content (not supplied). For all we know you're talking about sex which is likely lust not actual love.

And given the fact that you stated you broke up with him more than likely you were a bit clingy / doormaty. So your affection may not have even been normal but desperation.

[Shapay10]

Physical touch can be your love language and you can have strict boundaries on touch. They aren’t mutually exclusive

[BigWhiteWolf87]

@Shapay10 No, that's not true.

If that was the case southern Europeans and many other cultures where LOVE LANGUAGE IS TOUCH would NOT exist. That is WHY it's called LOVE language because it is the WAY in which you display LOVE and AFFECTION for OTHERS. If you are unable or unwilling to do it with everyone then it is NOT a love language.

Similarly people whose LOVE language is gift giving are OFTEN times the sort that give gifts to friends & family. It is NATURAL and HABITUAL behaviors. It is NOT solely unique to one person.

[Shapay10]

@BigWhiteWolf87 literally no love language is for everyone. All of them have boundaries. Gift givers don’t buy gifts for everyone. They aren’t giving words of affirmation to everyone they know. No one is doing acts of service for everyone they know. It’s silly to act like there can’t be limitations on these things.

[Shapay10]

you also just seem to be confusing culture with love language

[BigWhiteWolf87]

@Shapay10 Are you incapable of reading or comprehending? I said it is the way of displaying LOVE and AFFECTION. A gift giver would give gifts to those they feel affection or love for. Not everyone. If they love their parents = their parents get gifts. If they love a friend = gift. DUH!!!

Try to invest in a dictionary and see if you can understand things beyond a 10 year old's level.

[Shapay10]

@BigWhiteWolf87 I’m not really understanding how you can’t grasp what I’m saying. It’s kinda common sense that you can have boundaries on your love language. Hope one day you can have the capacity to understand🙏

[Jamie05rhs]

Your love language is related to your relationship with your Romantic Partner. Not just any old Tom, Dick, or Harry. Lol

[Jamie05rhs]

@Shapay10 is right.

[VIVANT]

I like touch (I mean affection not sexual) but only by someone I’m romantically into and with that person it’s the most important thing—anyone else touching me creeps me out. Bit also if that touch is sexual not affe you ate it crepe me out anyhow and most people when they are into someone there is always an element of sexual energy to the touch sooooo basically there are no situations where I’m ok getting “ what I want” puppies and kittens are nice bc it’s just sweet no sexual undertones.

[VIVANT]

Anyhow what I meant to say is just bc you like touch doesn’t mean you like it from anyone in every way. It’s like you at like toast it may be your favorite food but not burnt toast not soggy toast etc etc

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT I'm pretty sure you can have what you want! Just date a Christian if you're worried about the touch having sexual undertones, because in our religion thinking sexually about someone is not allowed. Lol

[AdithyaR]

So your love language is giving physical affection and not receiving it, is what I would guess. Or maybe you have some kind of internal thoughts that prevent you from accepting physical affection. Try to introspect and ask yourself what bothers you about receiving affection in physical form.

[Shapay10]

I’m also very aware of touch and I actually sometimes tell people I don’t like being touched despite it being my love language. Because in dating I really like affection. I think it just boils down to comfortability. Different relationships and people require different rules. It’s completely normal

[ChillaxingLove]

So you say your love language is physical touch but you don’t like it when your parents hug you. So you either don’t like your parents or you don’t actually know what your love language is. Unfortunately I can’t help you to know what you like.. you got to tell us

[Aiko_E_Lara]

That's because your parents may just kept hugging you and you're getting full of it. And your parents hugs may not feel genuine because you're their daughter so there's kinda like a bias feel to it. Same goes when parents compliment their children, they can't really feel it being genuine. Not sure about the "other" people you're talking about tho.

[SEL195]

Same. I don't liked being toutch. Even on ny shoulder. I always prefer to initiate any form of physical toutch. Nothing happened to me I just don't like people in my personal space.

[Jamie05rhs]

It's because they're the wrong people!

(Don't worry; I'm the same way. I don't want anyone touching me, but I LOVE the idea of cuddling with my girlfriend/wife!)

[VIVANT]

Yeah Jamie said it way faster 😂

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks, @VIVANT! :)

[RingOfFire]

It's a good question. I have always kind of felt the same way. Don't like people touching me. I reserve that for someone really special. Maybe other people touching me feels like it is trivializing the feelings.

[Anonymous]

You just said it, it's not that you don't like being touched necessarily, but you don't like making yourself vulnerable. Counseling to find out how to overcome that.

[Luopio27]

I wonder why your question pic doesn't show once I open up your question. In the question menu zzI saw the thumbnail but thats it.

[Fuentes]

I don't like to be touched I just want money lol

[scooogy]

Do you initiate hugs with your parents or others?

[TallAnon]

Because it's your romantic love language, which is weird in the context of family

[Reem12345reem]

Same I feel that way too

[annabananna]

Maybe you secretly like it but are just scared.

[es20490446e]

What you are afraid of?

[notwoke]

its because your female and their all re re

[Anonymous]

because you're a hypocrite