The thought of physical touch and intimacy makes me cringe. Any tips?

[Anonymous]

Physical touch is one of my least favorite love languages and the thought of someone liking me, dating, and knowing at some point they would want to kiss me bothers me. I grew up loving parents and family and I am very close till this day.

However, I just dread knowing most guys love language is physical touch. I’m sure it’s nice and I do want a relationship at some point but that part of being in a relationship will be hard for me to accept.

Any tips?

[DaveJord]

Yes, be very honest and upfront about that with any guy you meet. I would like to tell you that some day you will meet the right guy and all that will change for you... but I am not lair either. Most guys want physical touch, I am very affectionate person myself so if you do not like that type of thing then I would want to know very early in the relationship.

Just know by telling the guy this about you, you are really saying that you are probably not a very good lover. But there are plenty of guys out there just like you are... so again I would just be honest about it early on and that will help you more easily filter through the guys until you find the right one for you.

I would not not try to change yourself for any one... if this is who you really are then be true to it and put the effort into finding the right guy for you. Don't try to fake it, accommodate or compensate for it... over time this will only lead to failure. You will never feel 100% comfortable or at ease in the relationship.

It could actually lead to feelings of resentment later, in which you start to feel resentment for the man because he doesn't seem to realize how much of an effort it takes for you to do these things. So you will start to feel that he is not appreciative of the effort your making. where in reality its something that is 100% natural to him and takes no real effort on his part. He can not contemplate how something so easy can really that be hard for you, unless there is something wrong with him. Then he will start to feel resentment towards you.

So like I said don't fake it, just own it, and be honest early and upfront about it... knowing that most guys will probably see it as turn off or red flag, but that's okay because if it is something you want or don't want from a man you need to be true to yourself.

[tfan1]

Hmm let’s try this. Have you ever kissed a guy before? If so did you like it? Now this one is personal but go along with me but do you masturbate? If so, what do you think about while doing it? Do you think romantic sexy thoughts of being with the guy you want in the future? If so, imagine your touch is him, if you have a dildo, imagine it’s his penis. Lightly touch yourself everywhere and fantasize it’s the guy you want doing it. To me at least - this way will help you overcome your problem. 🙂👍. I wish you Good Luck 😃👍

[PetiteBabe64]

I think your problem is You don’t want people to think they know you because if a person thinks they know you they will Act like they know you
And That’s just bad Energy you don’t want no part in.

[jeffiner]

I actually have a couple things I'd like to say, but first I would like to know;
Why does the idea of physical touch repulse you?

[Asker]

Not into the idea of if lol. Perhaps closeness

[jeffiner]

How come? Do you feel a certain way when you're physically touched? (Just a few examples can be; Butterflies in your belly/queeziness in your gut/heart skips a beat/ears start to ring/head feels tight/do you hold your breat/clench your teeth?)

[Bethany22]

Are you sure you don't have a touch of autism in you? or maybe you just need more dating experience of touching and cuddling to make you more comfortable with touching without feeling like any strings are attached

[Summeroflove]

Well... I think people have soulmates and God has someone whose just for you. There is nothing wrong with you. I don't like being touched other then by someone whose close. Not since I dislike touch but only since it is special.


I am sure there are men who are just like you or you never know maybe you will meet someone one day and it will be more meaningful and you will like it. I really have no idea.

This is why you date to see who you're compatible with. There is nothing wrong with you or another person if things are just not meant to be. Keep looking.

[Anonymous]

I get you, I used to be the same way and got very irked out by the thought of being physical with a guy. What helped me was “contact therapy”, so my boyfriend would start with mini touches here and there until I got used to it.

Start with whatever you’re comfortable with, maybe a high five instead of a hug at first. Pat his back or just tap his shoulders when you’re trying to get his attention, eventually work your way up. Hopefully it’ll build up your tolerance and comfort in expressing and receiving physical touch.

[mickmrly]

I don’t think every couple needs to be too touchy feely if they don’t want to. While I would probably like that, there are sure to be other men who don’t need to be too touchy. As long as your dates know how you feel and can work with it, then things should be fine.

I do wonder what you would be thinking of cohabitating though. I guess in a future successful relationship, you’d have separate beds or something like that. At least you wouldn’t have to share the covers. 🤣

[dustybiker]

Just wait until you find someone you really like. You’ll want to touch with them. It will be best at helping bring down that reaction. You’ll meet people you have better trust with. They’ll respect your pace.

[Asker]

Thank you

[dustybiker]

You are welcome.

[Rockstarrrrr]

Maybe you have intimacy issues.. You're really aware that they're touching you and it makes it feel weird and awkward while you're supposed to kinda get lost in the moment.. And who knows, maybe after you try it a lot you just don't like it at all and you could be asexual...

[TheSpaceGnome]

Only advice is to just stay single.

The difference between best friends and a relationship IS physical touch, the two are otherwise the same. So If you refuse physical touch, you are left with friends as your only option.

[boggboss]

So find someone that not into that yes it will be hard but I'm sure there are guys like that out there

[tzdc21]

Well that's gonna be a hurdle that you're gonna have to get over if you want a relationship. Because physical touch... is kinda a big deal.

[Shiface92]

Means you’re Asexual, I’d suggest you to find someone like yourself it’ll save you the discomfort

[jshm2]

You are destined to become the cat piss smelling, essential oils selling, cat lady we all read about, kiddo.

[Makeushiver]

It will be difficult having a completely fulfilling life w/o an inability to be intimate.. Did you have any childhood trauma that could account for that? Perhaps therapy would help

[altaboy]

I know how you feel. You may never be completely comfortable with it, but you might find someone whom you make an exception for.

It's okay to feel that way. You are not alone.

[ambayside]

It’s possible you’ve had a negative experience early in life and that this has skewed your view. I have found holistic counseling to be great for transforming deeply held views that limit my choices.

[Fuentes]

I don't like to be touched either unless we fucking anything other then that, nah don't touch me.

[Jamie05rhs]

Date a guy who feels the same way you do. That way you can both take it slow together.

[HaveNoName]

You have a serious psychological problem. Go see a specialist.

[Staximus]

Go see a psychologist, you have an aversion to intimacy

[Staximus]

If you don't want the guy to hug, kiss, hold your hand and have sex with you, then you're looking for a friend and not a lover

[Staximus]

No guy is going to stick around for a girl that doesn't want to be kissed, hugged, etc

[OddBeMe]

I would inquire about any physical abuse in your past…

[D_Bone_Steak]

Damn. I need my penis touched.