Doesn't want to pay mortgage?

[Anonymous]

I asked my husband to help me with the mortgage because he told me he would. Half is 600 and he gave me 400 mortgage was coming up and i was short so asked for the 200 he owed and this was a big fight. Every-time mortgage comes around he gets upset because i make more than him so he shouldn't pay half I also pay all the other bills in the home. I don't know what to do

[elew4too]

He believes you should pay bills in proportion to your income. You believe that you should pay bills 50-50, regardless of income. Each interpretation is fair, depending on your point of view. This is almost like politics in a way: should the rich pay more than the poor? Or should we all pay the same taxes? Just like politics, you have three options: one side can win the argument, the other side can win the argument, or you can compromise. The question is whether either of you is willing to sacrifice or compromise for the other? If so, to what degree? You guys will have to discuss these questions and come to an agreement you can both rely on moving forward

[slatyb]

You need to first calculate your joint expenses -- mortgage, utilities, groceries, entertainment, etc.. Then figure out how much each of you will contribute and agree on it. You earn more, so it's reasonable for you to contribute more. You'll have to somehow agree on what is fair. Whatever you agree on has to come first. You could establish a joint account and have the agreed amount put in the account from your paychecks.

[Avicenna]

Talk about it calmly and come up with an agreement on how to handle it going forward

[WaterIsland]

Finances are one of the biggest challenges in marriages. I’d highly suggest sitting down with him every month, and making a budget. Write down how much each of you makes, write down all your expenses, and figure out how it’s gonna work.


Just winging it and figuring it out once mortgage is due, is clearly not working. You have to sit down, communicate more, make a plan, and get out ahead of it.

[ShiftingMonke]

Aside from suggesting a joint account, perhaps he could pick up extra chores around the house to compensate for the money he's not bringing in? Or maybe he should seek a different line of employment if finances are regularly an issue.

[Anonymous]

How bout downsizing? If he don't want to come up to your level come down to his. If you don't want to do that maybe you need to reconsider whether you're with the right guy. You clearly are at odds on this. And neither sides seems to be budging.

[Anonymous]

His percentage of the mortgage should be adjusted for what he makes. Count your self lucky. I cover my entire mortgage and its 2700 a month. My wife works too but i dont make her pay. She makes so little that she couldnt hope to cover half. Im sorry but welcome to the world married men have to deal with every single day..