Why do some husbands want their wives to stay home and take care of the house instead of working?

[Anonymous]

[Aerissa_Jade]

I'm not even sure how anyone would do that these days, single income simply isn't enough for 90% of people out there.

I get the concept though, if you have children. You want a parent to raise them, rather than day care.

Personally, I'd be happy to stay at home and take care of the house if he made enough money that I could and I don't mean, just barely getting by.

I know someone who, she stayed home to raise the kids and then once they were grown, she got a low skilled job part time... as that way they could both have a little spending money to do some fun things as they barely scraped by their entire marriage.

It helps her now, in empty nest to not be home alone all day but not have to work full time.

[Apple1996]

They are traditional/that's just the way nature designed men and women. Men should be the ones working and women should be at home caring for kids

[lightbulb27]

It reduces stress, improves quality of life. Americans got to where we want to outsource everything including parenting. That's really... stupid. The problem for many people is they can't afford to live unless there's two incomes because the govt has been stealing our standard of living. So they may have no choice, but apparently some guys "get it" and want a parent at home. The other reason is... they were raised that way.

I do this for my wife and our kids, it makes life easier. sometimes, money isn't everything.

[earthcitizen7]

Mostly, I think, because they don't realize what it is they really want. They are conditioned by society to believe this, without thinking for themselves. Another major reason, is that they are insecure and jealous: They want their wife at home, so less guys see her, and she has less chance of having an affair. A secure guy would not worry about this in the slightest.

God created Our Universe with Love and Free Will. Use your Free Will to Love!

[Anonymous]

Because those men want the best for their children. If a couple can afford it, there's no question it's best for the children, by a long shot.

The fact is many mothers would love to be home caring for their children and being they kind of mother they wish they could be but can't afford to, so they have to work and pay other people to raise their children for them.

[Opinion Owner]

What kind of moron downvotes this? Probably a woman pretending to be a man on the internet.

[Apple1996]

Working moms have the luxury of affording someone else to watch there kids. Unless they are single moms then they are purposefully working cuz it makes them happy not cuz they can't afford to stay home

[Opinion Owner]

@Apple1996 True, they are choosing their own happiness over that of their children.

[Paul09]

For what? First 5 years? Then what? Kids are at school all day. Can't possibly have a million things to do at home. Almost like having kids isn't expensive.

[Apple1996]

@Paul09 school isn't a daycare. They can't just be ditched their so parents can work. My school aged kids are home all the freaking time. The parents who do that end up needing after child daycare cuz the kids can't watch themselves till their parents come home anymore like they did in the freaking 90s.
And no there's always something to be done at home. I spend every single day being busy 24/7

[Opinion Owner]

@Paul09 You're obviously not a father and have no clue what it's like to be a good SAH mother and homemaker.

@Apple1996 I agree with you on all of that. Being a good SAH mother and homemaker is a very demanding job. Some SAH moms work harder at it than others, but the ones who give it their all work very hard and they make the lives of their children and husbands better.

[Opinion Owner]

@Paul09 I would suggest you read the article at this link about what SAH moms who "don't work" actually do. It's a lot, and they deserve our appreciation and respect.

www.boredpanda.com/.../

[Paul09]

So what are you saying? Both my parents worked. Heck of only. Worked, we would never be able to afford everything we had. Not ever father makes 6 figures.

[Apple1996]

@Paul09 affording things doesn't equal good parenting. There are other parts to parenting then just the financial side

[Opinion Owner]

@Paul09 What @Apple1996 said.

To children, money is far less important than the unconditional love and unfettered attention from a parent who devotes their life to them. Selfish materialism blinds people and allows them to justify in their minds the choices they make at the expense of their children's wellbeing.

[Paul09]

@Apple1996 No money , no life.. wtf you talking about? You think great parenting will give you discounts in life? You need money to have a proper life. Again not all fathers make 6 figures, so you. Probably wouldn't know, you most likely have a husband that makes a lot if money.

[Paul09]

Not about materialism. Food, clothes, bills, education, classes, sports, actives, home, car, transportations, vacations , equipment, toys , or whatever accessories all cost. You can be the best parent alive, still need money.

[Apple1996]

@Paul09 my husband doesn't make a lot of money at all. There was literally a point for about 2 years with neither of us working and still figured out a way to provide for our kids

[Opinion Owner]

@Paul09 "Not about materialism"

"... home, car, transportations, vacations , equipment, toys"

Yes, it is about materialism if you put those things ahead of the mental and emotional development of your children, which is exactly what you are doing by advocating for children being in daycare day after day during the most critically important years of their development.

Paying other people to raise your children for you is not good parenting.

[Apple1996]

@Paul09 stay at home moms are worth about 180k a year if all the jobs they did were outsourced so it is extremely valuable money wise for moms to stay home with their kids

[Opinion Owner]

@Paul09 pn3policy.org/.../

[Opinion Owner]

@Apple1996 I've seen the studies on which that 180K dollar figure is based, and it's not realistic. It doesn't base the valuation on reality. Jobs are valued based on market factors, supply and demand, and the truth is you could hire 3 fulltime live-in nannies for significantly less.

The real value of a stay at home mom is the bond, love and attention only a mother can provide a young child, and that is impossible to put a dollar value on because it is priceless.

[Paul09]

Again, my mom worked and I had all that. I still do get love and bonding with my mom. You only see one way it's insane. You make it sound like you can't do any of it without being a stay at home mom. Only the 6 figures can do all that.

[Apple1996]

There are a lot of factors to take in but honestly I'd say they are missing a few things that a nanny/care taker just couldn't do. But yes even without the money value moms are still valuable in many other ways

[Apple1996]

@Paul09 working parents still miss out on 8-12 hrs of seeing their kids a day. The bond is not the same even if the parent-kid wants to believe it is. There have been so many times where I've had to deal with my kids crying, being resentful and even sometimes forgetting their own father cuz of him having to work. I honestly can't even imagine how bad it would be if both of us worked.

[Paul09]

Again, not everyone can afford to do so. Its like you 2 are Insulting 2 parents for working. That's just weird. And when I was a school my parents were at work, when I got home parents were home too or at least one. My dad even took contracts in different provinces or states. To provide for us.. Then eventually he stayed in my city. Im happy for everything they have done for me. Not sure what you think we were missing?

[Opinion Owner]

@Paul09 "Again, my mom worked and I had all that."

You did... as far as you know.

I'll give you an example to illustrate my point. My brother is married with two young kids. His wife (Jessie) is home fulltime with the kids, a girl (Myah) who will be 3 in May and a boy (Ben) who turns 1 later this month. The girl is off the charts in terms of her intelligence, communication and emotional maturity compared to others her age. My aunt owns a daycare and Jessie spends time there helping out and giving her daughter the opportunity to interact with other kids. But Jessie is ALWAYS there with Myah, and when there are issues or conflicts with other children, Jessie is there to support Myah the way SHE KNOWS is best for her. She uses those times as learning opportunities for her daughter to grow emotionally and socially.

But the other children her age don't have a parent there to support, teach and nurture, and they attention they get from my aunt and the others who work with her is nowhere near the quality or quantity my niece gets. They are caring for a bunch of kids who they don't love like a mother does, and they don't have the time or energy to give that kind of nurturing even if they wanted to.

[Opinion Owner]

@Paul09 My niece is in the 99th percentile in terms of communication and reading skills. It's so obvious when you watch her interact with other kids her age. Why? Because Jessie knows Myah better than anyone else in the world. Jessie has "talked" with Myah since she was born, taking opportunities to do so throughout the day, every day. When Myah started trying to talk, Jessie understood what she was trying to say when no one else could. Myah has been speaking in complete sentences since before she turned two, but even today most people can't understand her well enough to have a dialog with her, but Jessie does. I see the other kids trying to talk as well, but no one at the daycare understands most of it, because it sounds like gibberish to them.

Myah's mental and emotional development is light years ahead of the other kids because Jessie has taken FULL advantage of he fact that the most critical developmental years in a child's brain are between birth and age 3. If you read the link I posted earlier you would understand what a huge impact that has on a child and the adult they will become. The vast majority of children do not get that. They have no idea how the person they are was shaped by the lack of growth or traumatic experiences they had when there was no mother there to care for and comfort them, and help them understand what is happening and learn positively from it. Daycare workers are simply incapable of doing that for a child, but that's what most children get during the vast majority of waking hours during those critical years.

There is no substitute for a present mother in a child's life. You may love your mother and be close with her, but you literally have no clue how different your life and experiences might be now had you had a mother with you all the time as a young child, taking full advantage of every opportunity to develop your young mind and emotional intelligence.

[Opinion Owner]

@Paul09 Nope, not insulting two parents for working. It's an economic necessity for many. But the truth is many women choose to work when they could actually get by without it, and they make that choice based on a lot of misleading information from people like you.

What is more important, the welfare, emotional health and mental development of your children, or protecting parents from feeling guilty about their choices? I know my answer.

Your argument is similar to many I used to hear from mothers complaining about being made to feel bad for not breast feeding their babies. They were led to believe that formula was just as good. But thank goodness medical science has evolved enough, and become honest enough in recent years that now there is no question in any informed mother's mind that her breast milk is far superior to any formula, and has countless significant health and emotional benefits to the child and the adult they become. Now mothers can make informed choices about whether they want to make the sacrifices necessary to give their children the best.

We are a long way from having same condition with respect to the issue of daycare versus a real mother. We need to stop protecting mothers' feelings and be open and honest about the implications of not being there for their children during the most critically important years in their human development.

[RockyHammock]

If the mom has been out of a career for awhile she may only find herself marketable for a minimum wage job. Babysitters, gas, and car availability eat away at her minimum wage profits. Often times it's better for the marriage to have a stay at home mom.

If there are no kids involved its a different conversation.

[LazerBean]

Because they can afford it, it's better for young children, and because when you like spending time with someone, it's a lot easier to work around one work schedule than it is two.

[Anemone978]

It could be to raise the kids properly, take care of the house, or so you won't really get to meet anyone to cheat on them with... unless you a real hoe 😂

[DaySpring]

Most people don't know how to raise a kid properly. You can't know what you never went through or discovered. People just want what they want because it's conditioned into them.

[Anemone978]

@DaySpring Yeah but even if they don't.. I'm sure its better than them always being watched and raised by other people besides their own parents...

Actually... no scratch that.. maybe I'm wrong...
my nephew used to be like my son and was so good because I always had to watch him since he was born.. but his parents are dumb as fuck ngl... they messed him up when I moved out of town lol and now he is bad and spoiled...

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

9 out 10 times is to control the woman due to their deep insecure and controlling ways regardless of the BS they might say.

A woman that doesn't contribute to the mortgage or rent, doesn't pay any bills or buy groceries and 100% depends on someone else to put clean clothes on her back by default will be under the 100% control of her man and often it will turn out bad for such a woman.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Balance is maintained. But that balance can also be maintained with money. Although it may not be as good as when your wife is at home.

[annabananna]

I guess cause they can afford it. It’s beneficial to have someone stay home if you can afford it. Kids sick? No big deal moms there to watch.

[Agape93]

Because they believe that's the only place we have value in a relationship

[Babygirl_S]

Because they believe in traditional gender roles. I wish to find such a man but they're so rare nowadays.

[Mayo503]

Don’t know why…
I say it takes two to keep a house going…
Unless you on loads of money….
But wouldn’t you go mad hanging around all the time….
And have cleaners in to do the house work…?

[Spiritofn]

Working from home is cool... Stuff should be done when somebody gets home and half the hours. Watchful eye on neighbourhood.

[Anonymous]

They can't give you a good reason. They have reasons but they are all mundane.

[Zayed_]

I want to someone to take care of my kids when I’m at work.

[Anonymous]

Because it's what they want. It sickens me when these idiot feminists shame women for wanting a traditional marriage

[jimmy2]

It's a full time job with no pay

[Nighttimeright]

That’s a woman’s place.

[Jamie05rhs]

Misogyny