Caught my boyfriend texting other girls and deleting them?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 6 months since Valentine’s Day and that night I actually decided to go through his phone when he was asleep. Something I’ve never done because I trust him and I don’t wanna get hurt. But I had kept finding out little lies he’s been telling and was paranoid. So I look through his recently deleted messages and see a conversation with this girl he told me was his best friend when we first met and I told him I didn’t really wanna get into a relationship where that’s the case because of some recent trauma. He completely understood and said she wasn’t that important and would stop contact. I genuinely believed him this whole time because I know he loves me. I only found one little conversation because the rest was completely deleted but in it she alluded to a previous convo. I found out I was pregnant a couple months back and he said that was when he called her to tell her he’s gonna be a dad. But I’m really hurt because I was scared and I told him not to tell anyone so why would he tell someone that would hurt me if I knew. I asked him to tell me how long it’s been happening and what they talked about and he said he stopped contact at first and then it was just “how are you doing”s. I also found deleted messages with his female coworkers he said he didn’t talk to where they’re bringing each other coffee and stuff like that and him being the one initiating convos. a couple FaceTimes with one coworker too. I was done when I first found out but after his begging and repeated apologizes saying it won’t happen again and some nice valentines gifts I tried to block it out because I love him and don’t wanna lose him. Now I just keep thinking about it having anxiety attacks because I have no idea what else there was and feel like he’s hiding more. I just don’t understand how he could lie to my face and hurt me while pregnant, she must be important to him then. Should I leave for my own sanity or try to forget about it.

[JustinTheGreat]

It’s definitely concerning that he would delete messages and lie to you. But you didn’t find any messages that were flirty, right?
Maybe he just wasn’t ready to cut contact with his friend. If I started a relationship with someone and they told me to cut contact with a best friend that I’ve known before then, I’d tell them to go fuck themself. Respectfully lol

I get you have your insecurities and past trauma but you can’t really expect someone to cut off a friendship for you just because it’s a female friend.

but yes, the FaceTimes with female coworkers is a little odd but at the end of the day, you don’t really know what was said in those FaceTimes. It’s sus but it doesn’t necessarily mean anything

You seem insecure and untrusting, and he seems to lie and break boundaries. Doesn’t seem like a good match

[Paul09]

If you lived him, you'd never go through his messages. This night be all in your head. Either way if he is or isn't , you don't seem like you should be together. Go see a therapist or something. Maybe they can help you realise things.

[In_Trance]

You lost me at "go through his phone"


Break up. You don't deserve a relationship yet

[Con29]

Leave him I think because it’s only gonna get worse