I am living a happy life but thoughts of my ex-fiance come to my mind very often?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I just can’t process the fact that we are not together anymore.

And that after everything we’ve been through together, he could become the stranger and would bot have a single care about how I feel.

Updates

+1 y

The reasons for break up -

We lived together for a year, then the pandemic separated us and his communist country wouldn’t allow me in and wouldn’t let him out.

The distance and time, feelings faded.

[caring__1]

Whenever we think of something, we automatically find our last experience of that popping into our mind. Until we replace that last experience with a new experience we find as significant as the last, we'll continue to flash back to that last experience. You're living a happy life, and that is great, but whenever you think about relationships, your ex will pop into your mind. It's up to you to dwell on that thought or move on to another thought. You probably felt the same way between the time your previous relationship ended and you met your ex. This is perfectly normal and doesn't necessarily need to take away from all you are accomplishing in the rest of your life.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

My ex was my first boyfriend and I was his first, but for some reason he replaced much more easily.

[caring__1]

Then apply this to a favorite food you used to enjoy till you discovered a new favorite food. It's not uncommon for first experiences to be very intense and hard to move beyond. Apparently, your ex is satisfied with superficial, if he quickly replaced you. It takes time to develop depth. Take your time to choose what is right for you. Never fill a void just to fill the void. Taking time will allow you to be more likely to learn from your past experience, so your next endeavor will be much more satisfying, while your ex will probably just experience life like monkey bars, constantly swinging from one bar to the next, with none being more meaningful than the last.

[CopperStove]

That’s a breakup is. It’s not fun, it doesn’t feel good but that separation mean you don’t get to have that person’s intimate love anymore. The goal for both of you should be to return to self dependency and then try to find a relationship with someone else if you so desire. They’re not your lover anymore.

[OlderAndWiser]

Perhaps you are not really as happy as you say you are.

[Grond21]

You need to give yourself time to heal, and you need to work through all of the different feelings. Not cover them up with new experiences, but acknowledge and work through them. Only then will you come to grips with reality and be healed from the breakup

[Mayo503]

Maybe you still love him….
Why don’t you try again with him and see
Or maybe you should just sit down with him and talk it through with each other

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I tried…

He doesn’t want to meet me, he says he doesn’t want to awaken what’s already gone.

[Mayo503]

Well think you need to forget about him and move on with your happy life …..

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He even got into a new relationship. It’s been almost 6 months since our break up, he’s in a relationship for at least 3 months and every time I tried to contact him I ended up being heartbroken.

[Mayo503]

That’s it you need to move on …..
Because all your doing is bringing up your emotions and let him go….
You can do it….
Your a beautiful person by the looks of it…
So in that way you’ll be fine…
If he can’t see that his bad luck
Why chase him…?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He was my first, I was his first.

I always believed he would be my only man.

I can’t even open myself up to any man, because I always feel like he is the one supposed to be next to me.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thank you for the nice words though.

[Mayo503]

Well that’s it it’s down to you end of days and things don’t always go the way we like sometimes
But you need to move on from him…
And thanks for saying that….

[Mayo503]

Maybe you should’ve said that in the beginning because what we talked about is no good for you…
So have he got a girlfriend then?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He waited for me for a long time, we called every day, he proposed me 3 times, trying to come to my country and failed, then he gave up onus ever meeting and slowly his feelings faded.

We broke up in August. I went back to China in October. But he got a new girlfriend already and he sqid he didn’t want to experience anything like that again and that all his feelings are dead.

[Mayo503]

I say time to move on long distance don’t work…
It didn’t for me anyway…
Ok
Hope you can move on and be happy in your life again…
All the best

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Funny thing is he is in another long distance relationship this time with a Chinese girl

[Mayo503]

Well doesn’t that say it all…?
Good luck you need to forget him …
Move on
That’s all I’m saying now
Good luck

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I will, I just don’t understand why’d he do that. We were fiancés. His mom keeps calling me to this day just to ask how I am, saying he considers me to be her daughter cause of how close I and his son were.

[Mayo503]

She needs to stop calling you too it’s not fair on him if he’s in a relationship with another person…
I know all about that one…
With me that is…
It’s a nightmare…
Can’t move on because of it…
But you need to leave him alone and move on sorry to say that to you….

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Why can’r you move on?

[Mayo503]

I could but I just can’t take them to my mothers which isn’t good because it calls hassle…
So just say that your mother is dead…. Really
All depends on the girl

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yep, same is happening.

He can’t bring the girl to his mother cause his mother thinks he acted like an asshole to me.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

So instead he totally stopped communicating with his family and only goes there drunk.

[Mayo503]

Wow….
I’m done with this now
You know what to do so it’s up to you …
Take care

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He indeed acted like an asshole to me and I don’t think he can do any better with those other girls, I was his first love and his first everything, if he could do that to me, how can he not do it to others.

[MementoMori777]

If he really cared he is behind closed doors going through the same pain, over time you get used to living without the person and you'll be chillin

[PatriceONeal]

You must have done something that really hurt him for him to cut off contact like that. Every man has been there once and then they become the man they were meant to be.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I haven’t done anything other than being loyal, caring and selfless girlfriend.

[PatriceONeal]

Oh I didn't see the update. He's communist? I think you're better off without a commie SO...

[bowenw]

I occasionally think of exes. They are a part of who we are.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

I think the best course of action would be to allow yourself more time to process.

[Zayed_]

Communism and capitalism are two sides of the same coin.

get the fuck out of her

[itsalyssaagain]

Time heals everything.

[itsalyssaagain]

If you really feel like he’s the love of your life then you can try reaching out again. If you feel that’s not what you want to do then let time heal you.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I’ve done everything I could do, it only ended with me being more and more heartbroken.

[itsalyssaagain]

If you feel like there’s no future in it then you just have to let time take it’s course. You’ll get over it I promise.

[Yellovv]

Why you broke up with him?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He broke up with me. I had no choice. I tried everything to save the relationship.

[Yellovv]

Why he do that, any reason?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

We were long distance at the end of our relationship and he fell out of love.

[Yellovv]

Online dating you mean?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Noo… We lived together for a year, then the pandemic separated us and his communist country wouldn’t allow me in and wouldn’t let him out.

[Yellovv]

Where are you from and him?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Georgia - China.

[Yellovv]

Why you are not letting another guy into your life?, you are sexy girl

[Bklynbadboy12]

How long ago did you to break up and why

[ChefPapiChulo]

Lol what