Don’t you think love is overrated?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

So, I was in love and I was loved in the best way I could imagine. When I die I can say I loved.

But I think is that really something I want again?

It’s too much of a drama and I’ve had enough I think.

Do you sometimes feel like it’s overrated and sometimes makes life more complicated than it should be?

I am not giving up on love or something, I was pretty happy when I loved and was loved back.

It’s just I decided I will rather concentrate on loving myself, my goals and my career. I think probably loving yourself is the best way of love that exists.

Have you seen a happy marriage? I haven’t really.

This happily ever after is a fairytale that only works in movies, even in movies, the story ends there cause no one lives happily ever after. It’s suffering ever after.

Sometimes I think maybe it’s even better to be someone’s past rather than the future, because past is always more colorful and beautiful.

And daily life eventually kills even the most beautiful of the love stories.

So, why not just forget that and live a happy life without all the extra drama.

[dynamicyandere]

Mediocre “love” or relationships are overrated.


But true love, a genuine deep and meaningful bond with another soul, I believe is one of the most fulfilling things one can experience in life.


I’d even go as far as to say, in my opinion, experiencing true love is THE most fulfilling thing one can experience.


But, I believe I understand where you are coming from.


If my SO and I were to have a terrible falling out, and it wasn’t salvageable, I’d go all in on my career afterwards.


I wouldn’t want to get into another serious relationship, at least for a while. And this time period may be indefinite.


I’d go all into career and find fulfillment in becoming the best version of myself, in career, health, finances, and mentality.


But, knowing myself, I also know that I’d likely feel a void in my heart, because I would have a huge capacity for love that I wouldn’t be using, like an important part of myself that I wasn’t expressing, a part of my potential that I wasn’t actualizing.


I would feel happy and fulfilled, generally speaking. But, because that part of my soul that isn’t being expressed, like a musician that has vowed to no longer play music, there would always be that void within me.


Because of that, eventually, I’d probably be open to loving again. I just wouldn’t be actively pursuing love.


Also, though very challenging, I believe it’s possible to juggle love and career and do well in both.


So, I don’t think love (true love) is overrated. But, it’s also very hard to find and there are other ways one can experience happiness and fulfillment too.


True love is beautiful. But other sources of fulfillment can be worthwhile as well.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I believe I loved truly, but knowing how it ends even when you give your all. I wonder what should you even do for it to be enough to last?

That’s why I asked this question, because I believe and know my love was deep and truly beautiful, yet, it still wasn’t enough.

[dynamicyandere]

I believe your love was true too.

But, no matter how true your love is or how hard you love. The other person needs to reciprocate. Otherwise, the relationship will eventually fall apart.

Your love may be super strong. But, for the RELATIONSHIP to be strong as well, that takes 2.

They need to, at the very least, cooperate with you, so you can work through your challenges as a team.

I learned that the hard way myself before. And that relationship was my greatest heartbreak.

[caring__1]

Fantasy love is overrated... true love isn't. True love is something two people choose to create and nurture over time. Unfortunately, most people are too self-centered to be healthy partners, so whatever their partner believes exists is probably just something they create in their head, seeing what they want to see rather than what actually exists.

We're all indoctrinated with the same garbage. Our early stories all ended the same ("They got married and lived happily ever after."). This equates marriage with happiness. Once we get married, we're led to believe we will automatically be happy. If we're not, it must be our partner's fault. You'll notice these stories always ended on the wedding day. Never did they show you what was to come.

Love without quality communication and teamwork is just a fantasy (or lust) we create in our head. Never fool yourself to believe something that doesn't exist, just because you want it to exist. If words aren't consistently backed up by actions, then don't blindly believe the words. If people accept what you say without making sure they see it through your eyes, it's like two people masturbating on the other person's body with no actual connection. That tells you you've picked the wrong person for the wrong reasons.

[WonderBell99]

Marriage isn’t always a bed of roses. Those who have been married for at least a decade will tell you that. How do I know? I’ve seen my grandparents and parents fight sometimes… and that’s okay. My grandparents have been married for over 50 years and they’re still very much in love.

Why do you place such paramount importance on “happily ever afters?” You’re not a Disney Princess, and this world isn’t a fairytale. Unless you actively go out and meet people, your chances of finding someone is slim. You cannot assume that people stop loving each other because of their daily routine. Of course, routines are monotonous, but the key is to keep the romance alive by doing something special for each other on the weekends. Even small things like a head massage is enough to express the love you have for your partner. You can’t expect the fireworks forever. As time goes on, you get comfortable with each other. That’s love.

To me, it just sounds like you have the wrong idea of what true love is like. You seem to base off your happiness on romantic relationships. I hope I’m wrong.

[ilikesnow]

maybe it is. but doesn't it feel so.. magical and perfect when you're in love? love makes everyone's life better, even the breakups and tears because it helps you grow to become a better, stronger person. yes, sometimes it feels like it would be better if love didn't exist at all, but you would never be able to feel the fluttery feeling in your heart or your face heat up when your crush talks to you, so maybe love is overrated, but love is pretty cool as well :P

[coachTanthony]

Love is overrated if that is what you believe. You get whatever you put out into this universe. Vibrations are real so if you don't believe and think it's overrated then that is all you will see, couples, marriages that are all bad because you aren't paying attention to the ones that are doing good.

[Guy13]

I think an esoteric love based upon appearance and superficiality is both passé and unfulfilling.
Depth of conversation, vision, and/or worldview is necessary as forces of stability

[Grond21]

No, love is not overrated. It is confused and underrated. People think happy feelings, people think passion, people think happiness itself is love. But it is not. In reality those are an effect of love, a sign that it can be there. But real love is choosing what is good for the other person, for their own sake. That's the love that inspires us, that's the love that creates Heroes. That's the love that causes a mother to suffer for 20 years in silence when no one sees. That love is always good and always admirable. It doesn't mean you will be happy, it allows you to live a life rich with meaning.

If you chase the feelings you will have drama and confusion. But it's instead you can find someone who you can choose the good for them, and they for you, then you will find a marriage rich with love.

I have seen many happy marriages, ones that last decades upon decades. But the only way to do that is to know what a true marriage is with real love and not some sappy fairy tale version

[ohsheeT]

Here's the thing about love is this very very powerful but the thing you have to understand is you only know the depth of love that you have experienced read everybody's answer and in that answer it will tell you how much they have been loved or how much they have loved we only know what we know we only know what we have experienced the deeper the experience the better the love love is something you have to work at each and every day

For me no love is not overrated love will teach you everything about each other and about yourself but it seems like everybody's looking for somebody to love them their way instead of just allowing the person to love them the best way they know how it could be deeper it could be shallower what kind of seems like everybody puts stipulations on love

I think if you like yourself and you love yourself you have a good grasp on what you expect love to be like for me it's not overrated

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I loved deeply and was loved deeply, thus I was hurt deeply.

[Anonymous]

Well, real love isn't about you. It's not about how they make you feel or how happy they make you.
You don't just wake up one day and say "I'm just gonna focus on myself. I don't need this drama!"

When you truly love someone, it becomes about them, and no matter how much drama the two of you go through, you'll still do anything to hold on to them and change yourself to make them happy.

I'm not saying that means you should stay with an abusive person and change everything about yourself to please. So don't take that the wrong way.

But nonetheless, truly loving someone means you'll never be happy without them.
I'm sorry, but that's the truth.

Love and infatuation aren't the same thing. Love doesn't feel nearly as good, but it will always be there whether you like it or not.

[LazerBean]

A love that is filled with drama is a very low quality "love", if it can even be called that. I've seen happy relationships and marriages, and I've seen unhappy relationships and marriages. And it's usually really predictable which category a couple is going to fall into.

[Anonymous]

True love doesn’t exist anymore this days because true love means to sacrifice. Nowadays true love means comfort and I like her 🍑 or 🥕 people are starting to confuse love with sexual needs. At the death bed Suzi won’t give a fuck about you but well she had a nice 🍑 at the end..

[Gummy_Cluster]

Unless you want kids, I'd go for the friends with benefits. They burn out like porch lights, so you just get a new bulb.

[exitseven]

I have had a happy marriage for over 27 years. It is not perfect but even that makes it even better. My life would have sucked without my wife.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

There was a user on this website who said, "Love and sex, both are overrated.". The statement spoke volumes.

[weysally]

not for me it isn't, there is nothing I wouldn't do for my husband and that is returned as well,

[LiamJHayden]

I disagree. I think Eric Carmen, lead singer of The Raspberries, explained it well in this solo effort:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/yGK8G5pCr_I

[Vesuvius87]

It depends on what type of love you're referring to. If you mean esoteric love

[Vesuvius87]

Then yes that's overrated. That's during the infatuation period where you see your partner as perfect, you idealize them too much, lust over them and are creating fantasies in your mind of being with them physically forever and ''oh the passion, oh my love''. Ok but once that stage fades out, are you going to marry them and form a family with them or not? Are your goals the same, are you even like-minded in other areas of the relationship outside of lust?

[Vesuvius87]

Are you going sharing responsibilities, going to be taking care of each other's if one of them is bad in heatlh, for good and bad?

[Jamie05rhs]

No, I do not.

And I also do not think that you have ever truly experienced love. I believe you when I say that you loved him. But he didn't love you.

[PainusNdeeAnus]

Because life isn’t about being happy you pick up happiness along the way as you go and you start by loving others more than yourself

[Allday4]

Your 26. You don’t know what love is yet. Your generation has to be told how to do everything and you believe what you see and read. That is truly the sad part

[Zayed_]

The love on your mind yes but the love on mine no..

[Babygirl_S]

I have been in love once and I don't think it's overrated.

[jshm2]

Reads like you had drama, not love.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Reads like you didn’t read the question 😝

[NathanDavis]

no... I've been fortunate