My boyfriend and I want to move in together but my sister and her two kids depend on me?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I want to get a place together but my sister who doesn’t work and her two kids live with my daughter and I. I can’t just tell them they’ll be homeless because I want to be selfish and get a place with my man… can I? Am I wrong for even considering it? My sister is 30 and doesn’t work or help me with bills and I find that my daughter and I lack because I am taking care of more people. I don’t do the things my daughter and I used to do, but her new clothes (we shop at goodwill now) and take her out for even an ice cream because money is so tight since I am the only one working and bringing in money. My boyfriend is trying to convince me that I would not be wrong to give her a time limit to get herself together so that he and I can move forward in our relationship. Is he right? How can I make everyone happy and secure? I love my sister to death.. but I love my boyfriend as well.. thoughts/opinions?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I agree with your boyfriend, if your sister is in a position where she has no motivation to change her surroundings, she won't change them. Give her a time limit, make the commitment to move in with your boyfriend and tell her she has until the lease is up or something to find a job and get her stuff together and then that old place can be all hers if she really wants. I have no doubt that supporting her has been rewarding for you in some way otherwise you wouldn't do it, but if she's a mother of her own children she should be able to provide for them on her own as well. If you have faith in your sister, and tell her that you're sure she's capable of doing it and providing that emotional support, she may find it easier to go back into the working world.

[Anemone978]

Why is your sister not paying anything if she has a kid? Personally my own sister would not let me live with her for free... why is she not on welfare or something or trying to get a job?
Most people would not take full care of a grown family member... really even my own dad would not take me in for free...
So I think you should try and get her sorted on her own with getting her to look for her own place and getting on welfare so you can live your own life... she is an adult and not really your responsibility...

[Anonymous]

It's time for you to be selfish. You spent your whole life being selfless. This is your time now. Make a decision. What do you really want in life? Then relate it back to this situation and you'll suddenly know the answer to what you should do.

There are other options than the 2.

[Asker]

How can I even bring this to her.. she doesn’t work because of depression and ptsd.. I have bipolar disorder but I got help and can function in society.

[Guy13]

Oh well, it is time for your sister to grow-up and handle her affairs. you are not her Mother !!

[magiusX26]

living your own life is not being selfish. its time she finds other arrangements. as for the reply you fave to another about ger having depression and ptsd, she has to learn how to cope just like everyone else does. i know plenty of people who have both who raise families and get through life without having to be coddled, and sorry but at this point you are coddling your sister. then there is the question of where is the father/s of her children?