Am I a racist? I work in engineering, many colleagues & friends are foreigners. But when I try dating in their ethic group I find my thoughts negativ?

[Anonymous]

A few friends / colleagues have set me up with their cousins or friends - and though I've been around say Egyptians & Indians and what not for a LONG time, been invited to Egypt, India and Saudi, etc. - I find myself with a negative ideology towards dating them.

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I was raised consertatively - consertative dress, don't sleep around, etc., etc. - so it's not like I usually parade around half naked and they're demanding I cover up, I'm usually covered up.

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My family, which has lived in India and Qatar, etc., has some Asiatic habits - e. g. kids looking after parents, etc. - and one of the reasons why I relate so well as friends and colleagues. But dating is more difficult than I thought; I find with some my mind is "can't stand" them.

Yes

Maybe

No

[lightbulb27]

I wouldn't call that racist though, but cultural. Who cares? You have a right to your feelings. I do not like it when people make you feel ashamed for how you feel. You have a right to how you feel, a right to evaulate and change that or a right to avoid dating into such environment... for it is a commitment of life.

Evaluate your feelings to understand why... maybe you were falsely conditioned in upbringing about others. Maybe your concerns are legit. There are issues in all cultures and some you will not want to tolerate. Their treatment of women of women, view of the family, power, etc.. may be different. Even within these big countries, may be different cultures, for Indian is still living in remnants of a "caste" sytem.

Be true to yourself... for this will all set the tone for your offspring.

[Guy13]

No, you are not racists. People are allowed preferences.

[Asker]

True. I just find it soo odd. I can work with & enjoy working with people from these same ethnic groups but dating them it's like nahhh not happening

[Guy13]

That happened to me last night at a vendor held affair. She's a pretty young girl, smart, and electrician in internship. I enjoy talking to her as she is so expressive and an attractive black girl. I feel nothing even when grabbed on forearm to speak with and hugged goodbye. I love her though and her OCD thing and electrician goes well together but No...

[pergamon300]

Not racist, many people would only date their own kind. Perfectly normal. Works better to, as there's similar cultural similarities.

[Jamie05rhs]

I've said this before, I've said it many times, and I'll say it once again: it is NOT RACIST to have preferences in dating!