Why is it so bad to have high expectations going or being in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I thought it was never settle for less? Don't be desperate.. not accepting just the bare minimum..

[Sleeper07]

There is a lot of hypocrisy in the manosphere community you shouldn't believe everything you hear.

The reality is the majority of men out there want the fantasy of going on dates before sex like romcom flicks. Think of every romantic movie you've ever seen. Yes that's what these men think life is actually like.

But that simply puts them in a position where they literally set themselves up for failure, because now they want someone who isn't an easy lay, so they force themselves to remain sexually frustrated virgins for 3 months with no good reason. And when someone shoves religious cringy bullshit to justify it I always laugh at how unnatural they actually are.

The reality is a lot of men do not understand the importance of being open to sexual encounters on the first time spent together.

Now back to your original question, having high expectations and standards are going to be your predominant downfall in life, because you will reject a person you actually like and not even know it.

The only qualifier that should constitute whether you let a guy or not is if you find him sexually attractive. That's it. Not for his height or how much money he has, but if you yourself are attracted to his personality and sexual appeal.

[serious]

No, that is not bad at all. Nothing wrong with having high standards, expectations both in terms of physical and personality aspects. It is perfect that you don't want to settle for anything less that what you want.

However, one thing that is important that you yourself should be a person of high standards, means a high value person. If you know what I mean.

Another point is having high standards can also possibly mean you may remain single for a long time if not forever, so you need to be mentally prepared for that.

[LazerBean]

It's only bad if you aren't worthy of having someone who meets your expectations.

[HighValue]

Yes, exactly this. ^^

[RavVid]

It is not bad to have high expectations if you are prepared to take the flip side. Not having a relationship.

You might have height expectations, muscle expectations, income expectation, emotional intelligence expectations. OK there are 4 there. If only 1/3 of men meets your bar in each category then the portion of men satisfying all of them is 1/3 * 1/3 * 1/3 * 1/3 = 1/81 ~= 1.2%. If you have a couple of more criteria then only 1/729 on 0.1% will made the grade.

Quite probably other girls will group think on your expectations. So that upper 0.1 percentile man will have other girls after him and you will have a low chance of making his pay grade.

Add a few more sought after attributes and it is becomes unlikely you will ever meet the man of your dreams let alone having the pleasure of being rejected by him as 'not god enough'.

[UniquelyBasic]

Well sometimes people have unrealistic expectations then complain that they are single. People need to prioritize the right things in a partner and it seems a lot don't know what those traits are for them.

[Asker]

I'm wondering if mine are unrealistic?
A man initiating dates & adventures
Maybe even initiate a date and then pay for it... all while in a relationship.. I know it's not asking for too much. But my boyfriend/baby dad can't provide this without me asking for it. He doesn't understand why I feel hurt he doesn't do this for me. Something selfless for me.. that doesn't benefit him necessarily. He might have autism or asbergers.

[UniquelyBasic]

It also has to be reciprocated and if it's always one way people will get tired of it. It has to be a back and forth. You do something for him and he does the same for you.

[Asker]

I understand. I'm the one who does too much in this relationship. I want a foundation for our relationship. I don't feel we have none. I don't feel strong in this. He claims other wise. But again. I show him more.. I don't know

[Asker]

Selfishness

[MysteriousDarkness]

It is Autism Spectrum

[WanderingLoveWizard]

In a e zero expectations. I just take it as it comes, because chances are things aren't gonna go the way you thought they would. Whether that be good or bad

[Anonymous]

Whoever you choose is going to have a partner who is far less than perfect, right? Or are you the perfect girlfriend?

[Paul09]

Because the higher your expectations are, the higher chance that you will get disappointed. You can't think that you can get 100% of what you want from someone. you'll never find that.

[Asker]

I get that. But right now I'm barely even getting the bare minimum

[Paul09]

Well better to have nobody and happy, rather than not happy and with someone.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

RyobBBe Shfass JhrObi-Chang. It is not, Save Us Taco Gate. The specimens surrounding you known as “people” are just Filthy Casual 2nd best dilettantes who loath the seeking of Cross Immolation.

[FilmGuy93]

It's a balancing act. Your expectations need to be realistic. The problem with most people's expectations is that they aren't realistic.

[Anonymous]

Because too high expectations lead women to be alone in their late 20’s on to much older ages. Some high expectations may be unrealistic.

[Asker]

What's some unrealistic expectations to you?
Mind reading my comments please?
What's realistic?

[Opinion Owner]

So are you saying he abuses you? Sorry if I read that comment wrong? Were you ever in a previous relationship where a man did this stuff?

[Asker]

My last was toxic af.
Yes. But my current might be autistic

[Opinion Owner]

So do you think a lot of men are like this as far as being romantic or something society sets women up to expect?

[Asker]

Nah I know if a man is crazy about me he would show me I'm special. He'd initiate a lot of stuff like dates

[Opinion Owner]

In the beginning like most men do or would he do that the rest of your life? I really don’t think so. I could be wrong but I’ve been w someone for 14 years, that happened a lot in the beginning. But now, no not very often. My love is doing things for her, fixing up the house, the yard, making sure everything is done as far as bills. I guess cause I don’t get those same feelings women get if a girl planned a date for me and took me to dinner and got me flowers or candy.

[Asker]

Hold on... do you do these things by yourself? Like you initiate right? It seems to me I have to come to my boyfriend... and ask for everything or even convince him sometimes and I don't know if that's bad or not

[Asker]

Like I just want him to initiate sometimes. I'm tired of wanting something a man should do for a girl he actually wants lol. Like it used to he 50/50 yuck.

[Asker]

Why do men expect traditional women but act like modern geeks? Doesn't make sense

[Opinion Owner]

You mean as far as taking care of the landscaping, bills, things like that? Yes I do that all on my own. I will say though I love fixing up the yard seeing what I can create.

[Opinion Owner]

In your opinion what should a man do for a girl?

[Opinion Owner]

Act like modern geeks how? There’s no real such thing as traditional women. Not w today’s technology. Women say they wash clothes, wash dishes, but it’s usually a machine that does it.

[Anonymous]

Because most women are delusional and have insanely unreachable expectations for a partner and then end up pathetic, old, and alone.

igotstandardsbro. com

[OddBeMe]

It’s not that they’re high. It’s about what you’re valuing.

[Bklynbadboy12]

There is nothing wrong with that you should have expectations

[Woodchuck411]

What's your definition of bare minimums

[Asker]

Bare minimum is just that. Being faithful, dates, showing initiative in a relationship. Basically being treated with respect. Something that's a normal relationships thing that shouldn't happen in relationships like abuse, domestic violence... being treated right..

[Anonymous]

Don't expect filet mignon if you only have bologna to offer.

[Asker]

This shit don't apply to me homie

[Opinion Owner]

OK pigs feet or neck bones then.

[Asker]

This shit don't apply to me either racist bitch

[Opinion Owner]

Can't imagine why you have so much trouble with relationships. You sound like a delight. 😆😆😆

[Asker]

I'm just glad I'm not stuck with you

[Opinion Owner]

The feelings mutual hun.

[noohair]

Expectations of what? Things or love?

[najekim]

It's not.