If a person has had 3 + girlfriends or boyfriends in relationships but all failed, does that person just have a bit of bad luck or are they the problem?

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Serious answers only.

[SteveSmith1985]

No, that doesn't automatically indicate a problem. Not at all.

It's possible that "you're the problem" but if that's the case, then you would have been made aware of it. Or it would be fairly obvious to you. If, for example, there is a common theme to WHY the three relationships failed... then it might indicate a problem with you (or a problem with how you conduct yourself in relationships).

If, however each relationship had it's own issues, and ended for it's own reasons (not because all three felt that you were selfish and didn't take their feelings into account or something like that) then it's not a problem with you.

Having three relationships fail is... very very very very very normal. Most people have had more than 3 failed relationships. I would hazard a guess that most people in Love today, have more than 3 failed relationships.

That is not a number that is problematic on it's own. Not at all. Not even close.

So unless there is something in the feedback you're getting from each of the relationships that didn't work-out, there is absolutely nothing to worry about in having 3 failed relationships. 🙂

[Anonymous]

It's difficult to say without knowing the specific circumstances of each relationship. Sometimes relationships don't work out because of external factors such as distance, timing, or conflicting goals, and it doesn't necessarily mean that any one person is at fault.

However, if a person has been in multiple relationships that have all failed, there may be patterns of behavior or communication that are contributing to the breakdown of those relationships. It's important for that person to reflect on their past relationships and identify any areas where they may need to improve or change their approach.

For example, they may need to work on communication skills, managing expectations, or resolving conflicts in a healthy way. It's also possible that they may need to take some time to work on themselves and develop a stronger sense of self-awareness and self-worth before entering into another relationship.

It's important to remember that relationships are complex and involve two people, so it's not always helpful to assign blame or label one person as "the problem." Instead, it's important for both partners to take responsibility for their own actions and work together to build a strong and healthy relationship.

[TenderFantasy]

I think it depends on:

1) The age - If still in high school or below, sometimes, it's a revolving door for them or conveyor belt. It's a contest to see who's dated the most people, or the most popular one, etc.

2) If they are just playing the field and both parties are OKAY with it and no body is leading anybody on. They are "proud" Bachelors and aren't ready to settle down. You usually see these people between 18 to 25 or so.

3) Lastly yeah, it could definitely be them. They have to look deep within themselves, self reflection and see what it is they truly want out of a relationship. It can mean different things to different people. Some just want a fuck buddy, some just want someone so they aren't lonely. Some just want internet flings. It really varies, but I can safely say that most that are dating are looking to marry, find love and start families. At least that is what I have observed with like 75 to 85% of the population. They are very traditional like that. Wanting to please their families and society. Also, wanting to reproduce.

[Softlife808]

It can be many things:

1. They fall victim to predators. Men or women who prey on their kindness and hopeless romantic mentality in order to manipulate them into sex or money.

2. They haven't met someone who they're compatible with. Sometimes you dont know a person until you've actually dated or been around them long enough.

3. They are the problem because they have a type that's not suitable for them. For example, they may have grown up in a toxic home so they pursue unhealthy individuals for relationships.

4. Or they could be a problem in a way that they're cheaters, liars or manipulators.


Overall, it's up to you whether you choose to accept these qualities or not.

[Softlife808]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy is this about you or a woman you're interested in

[LazerBean]

And exactly how many relationships have you been in just to still be single at 30? Exactly.

[Softlife808]

Thanks for the mho

[AviatorTom]

Depends on how old they are. 3 failed relationships by the time they're 20 could indicate a personal problem. By 50, that would be totally expected.

[Michael09]

People who marry young have a harder time staying together.
The bills pile of the heat goes away. AND REALITY IS AT THE DOOR.

[Avicenna]

Most relationships fail. And look how fast teenagers get together with and break up with each other. So it's no big deal most of the time.

[JustinTheGreat]

I wouldn’t say they’re necessarily the problem. First off , I don’t think three relationships is a lot. If someone had 15 failed relationships, then my answer would be different and I would say they’re most likely the problem.

but 3 relationships failing isn’t saying much. It could be bad luck with choosing partners, it could be a “right person, wrong timing” situation, or yes it could be that they’re the problem.
but you still can’t know for sure based on so few relationships tbh

[serious]

Not bad luck. It is a problem. Poor choice and decision making and yes there might be other issues as well which needs to be resolved.

This is in general, but without knowing the actual reason as to what happened that lead to 3 failed relationships it would not be fair to comment on what could be the exact cause.

[Fireguy17]

It could be both.
Many people seem to concentrate more on looks vs the person as a whole.
There is a lot more to someone than looks, big boobs whatever.
You have to enjoy actually being with that person.
So, if you are guilty of that type of behavior pattern then it is you that will need to reassess your dating strategy and figure out what to do differently.
Sometimes the person you are with turns out to be someone different than their representative that you first met.
Meaning that they were presenting themselves differently than who they really are.
Sometimes even after doing all of the careful research for any number of reasons it just doesn't work out so you part company and move on.

[Haha456]

yes. I am currently doing an friends with benefits with a guy who keeps talking about a shit ton of his exes. I immediately know that there is something wrong with him. You don't want to be with someone who had too many failed relationships. It shows poor judgement when it comes to picking partners or possible issues with his character / personality. If he's had 6-8 exes by the time he is 30, you will likely be his next ex.

[CubsterShura]

Depends on the person? You could be fine but just happened to date people who weren't right for you, you may have your own issues you need to fix. There are like, so many possibilities out there and it wouldn't be fair to assume that everyone who has been in a handful of failed relationships is problematic.

Personally, I had struggle with having boundaries and building healthy attachments.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Every woman attracted to me it seems is either living an ocean away or else severely mentally ill. I'd at this point sooner take my chances with a level-headed railroaded "felon" woman than have to deal with yet another funny farm escapee.

[Stoner710]

Mix of both, we all have a personality type we like it could be you or I could be you need to find a different personality type of gal I don’t know what caused the break ups, but look at what cost to break up, so maybe change your ways. And if you think your ways are valid then try looking for another type of girl. I’m probably gonna have to go with a Christian girl I don’t want to go with a Christian girl that’s probably what I’m going to have to do it myself.

[HighValue]

It depends. If all 3 were the same kind 9f person and the relationships ended for the same reasons, then I would say they do not learn from the past and are doomed to repeat the pattern.

If all 3 ended for different reasons, maybe they were unlucky, but they still have a decent chance of success in the future because at least they learned from the past and didn't make the same choices again that already didn't work out before.

[Drumlin2001]

Relationships fail for all kinds of reasons, and that can change depending in what stage of life you're in. Having multiple reactionships in late teens/early 20's is pretty normal. If someone is in their 30's and still only having relationships last a year max then it would raise some questions

[Pudsmucker]

I had a lot of serious bad relationships in my younger years. I'm glad I did because I found the right person in my life. It helps to around the person out. Having several failed relationships will help you look at how to change your life to meet the right person.

[Michael09]

Take time to know her it's not an overnight thing. First before jumping into bed

take time to know them, and find out your compatibility, before you create child support. Time is in your favor. You don't buy the first car you test drive.

[Nahid1707]

Every relationship is different


It could mean either they have bad traits or the other person did


I won’t repeat what others said
It does depend


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A video for you in case you never saw this before

[melanieeeB]

Not necessarily, not everything is forever and if a relationship ends it can also be a good thing! Not every relationship is good, some relationships are very toxic or you just part ways in your views and so on

[melanieeeB]

I would say he is the problem, if like 90% if his relationships ended cause of his behavior and in a short amount of time but for that you truly need to know the reasoning why nearly every partner left and the details to the story

[ryanrhino]

If relationships were easy, it wouldn't be worth the effort. As it is such a long term thing in your life, is it not worth some risk for a great reward?

[Anonymous]

Neither. Most relationships fail. If you only start a relationship in the naive belief that it may be the last relationship you ever have because it's going to last, then you're definitely going to fail because you will have no experience of navigating the pitfalls every relationship has.

[TonyV]

Uh I think 3 is a bit to few to say anything for certain, not gonna say someone is hopless cause " 3 whole relationships" didn't pan out.

[AsaKyo]

Depends on who has the issues in those relationships

Considering they've all failed, I believe that person may be at fault, but who knows

[FilmGuy93]

Depends on the reasons the relationship fell apart, but I don't typically hold people's pasts against them.

[RealMarek]

It really depends on the circumstances. My girlfriend had more than three failed relationships. We get on very well.

[Anonymous]

i think that's actually pretty common. people date people... i mean, there's nothing weird about it.

[TacosRAwesome]

Could be either. 3 partners seems to be quite normal.

[JordanianNumetal]

the fact you asked this, doesn't say much for you. If they all know about each other i suppose its fine. This day in age it doesn't surprise me. Leave some for me. those who can do.

[LiamJHayden]

Yes. I have been the problem, or at least the ending cause, in all of my relationships.

[msc545]

Impossible to tell but many people have had a lot more than three relationship feilures.

[Anonymous]

They have the bad luck. Either they're so good or so bad

[LazerBean]

They are the problem.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

So a little bit of bad luck isn't involved at all?

[LazerBean]

Bad luck 3+ times? Nah. That's just bad judgement, at the very least.

[ObscuredBeyond]

You've clearly never lived in Lansing.

[LazerBean]

Well big cities are notorious for having more promiscuous people in thus having more people have a long string of failed relationships.

[Softlife808]

Dating is about getting to know who is compatible with you. You date until you meet the one;therefore, your statement is based on a lack of maturity and experience.

[LazerBean]

Dating someone does not mean you are in a relationship with someone. Getting into a relationship with everyone you go on a date with is a result of lack of maturity and logic.

[Softlife808]

@LazerBean same difference you date until you meet the one. Relationships do form when it's assumed there is compatibility but some people don't find out how truly incompatible they are , grow apart, or it just doesn't work. That's life

[LazerBean]

And that exact mentality is why so many people are failures full of emotional damage in their romantic lives.

[Softlife808]

@LazerBean You're too immature and inexperienced.

[LazerBean]

Because I didn't make all the stupid and unnecessary mistakes that you do? Yeah ok.

[Softlife808]

@LazerBean don't project your insecurities and lack of experience on me lol. Not my fault you're naive and live under a rock. You sound like a Virgin girl chill lol

[LazerBean]

Im projecting? Lol how ironic of you to say. Pretty typical of women who let their genitals do all their thinking for them to think that "virgin" is a slur.

[Softlife808]

@LazerBean you sound offended 🤣 . I guess the truth hurts

[LazerBean]

Lol keep gaslighting. The truth does hurt, and that's why you were so offended bye saying that you're the problem that you felt the need to comment.

[Softlife808]

@LazerBean "bye saying that? 😆 somebody's so mad they can't type. I

[LazerBean]

Wow sad deflection, so mad you can't even use logic to argue. How many relationships have you been in and still can't find a decent man who wants you permanently?

[ObscuredBeyond]

Wrong, Lazerbean. They're not mad because the connection proved too shallow. They're mad, because the individual they wanted to give a chance commits a disgusting and over the top act of betrayal. Abuses trust. I'm not just talking cheating. I'm talking robs the partner, pulls a 180 out of nowhere, slanders them, rapes out of nowhere, starts emotionally abusing or trying to the extreme to control the partner out of nowhere with extreme and childish demands, gaslights regularly, or abandons out of nowhere and then lies to the police to get the partner in jail for no reason.

Psychotic behavior so senseless and dramatic, it has you doubting that you can ever trust anyone ever again. Maybe he decides to lace his wife's protein shake with arsenic. Maybe she gets his hopes up about a family, then has an abortion out of the blue for the sake of pure narcissism, and spouts insane bullshit to sound justified by demonic fool standards, leaving him wondering how he can trust her with anything after that.

And crazies are EVERYWHERE today!

My list doesn't even include those who, after the relationship ends, decide they're gonna be demons, and that they can't walk away. They have to punish you for leaving for your own good, even if you did so politely. Tire slashers. Brake line cutters. Car bombers. Others who stage murders like something out of an episode of Monk, or as elaborate as an Agatha Christie novel.

Or maybe, your next loved one had a serious illness. But since you weren't married, the healthcare system wouldn't let you visit her in the hospital when the entire world went on lockdown, because the world is run by psychopaths. And then she's Terri Schiavo'd to death, and you're powerless to stop it. Or maybe she vanishes for months without much explanation, because you underestimated how dangerous it is to date a Chinese national.

Welcome to life.

[Softlife808]

@LazerBean bye and by are two different words lol🤣. Girl , what an airhead.

[Softlife808]

@LazerBean girl your boyfriend cheats on you😆🤣

[LazerBean]

@Softlife808 I see you're too ashamed to answer the question so you have to keep deflecting 😂 girl a space doesn't belong before a comma, airhead. Keep spreading those legs for everyone 😉

[Softlife808]

@LazerBean don't project your life issues onto me. I can't relate to your issues. If that's the question you come up with then more than likely it has to do with your life not mine

[LazerBean]

@ObscuredBeyond wow can't relate. Sounds like problems that can be 99% avoided by having good judgement.

[LazerBean]

@Softlife808 you're right, you can't relate toy life problems because I have none. Meanwhile you are the problem. Otherwise you wouldn't still be a hoe at 30.

[Softlife808]

@LazerBean correct I can't relate to your issues. I'm too responsible. Hoeing, I can't relate to your mom hun. Must be something you've seen in your home growing up

[Softlife808]

@obscuredbeyond ignore her. Her boyfriend watched gay porn. He's not even into her lol

[LazerBean]

Lol you're projecting so hard. If you were responsible then you wouldn't be mad at the idea that your singleness is your own fault. What's your body count? Exactly. That why decent men like my husband avoid you like the plague.

[Softlife808]

@LazerBean how's your boyfriend gay porn collection coming along? Is his desire for a man still affecting your relationship? Lol

[LazerBean]

You're seething so hard you can only make stuff up now. Why don't you want to answer howany relationships you've been in?

[Softlife808]

@LazerBean how's your boyfriend gay porn collection?🤣

[LazerBean]

As people with values, we don't watch porn because it's for degenerates like you. Do you have logic for thinking he watches porn? (Of course you won't answer because you're just a seething roastie)

[Softlife808]

@LazerBean cute you're trying to work through your boyfriend lack of desire for you 🤣

[ObscuredBeyond]

You can't always tell. Not at first. But when the crazy weeds pop up, you can run away before they grow tall enough to strangle you. Which is what I usually do. At the same time, I can't fault the girl that died from Huntington's for something neither of us could control. But I can fault the healthcare system that didn't value her life.

Every time a new gal starts with the psycho games, the leash gets shorter.

[Softlife808]

@obscuredbeyond stop embarrassing yourself by explaining yourself to a complete stranger for approval. I'm embarrassed for you.

[LazerBean]

@ObscuredBeyond someone dying isn't on the same level as picking losers.

[LazerBean]

@Softlife808 keep avoiding the question, roastie, just as predicted.

[Softlife808]

@LazerBean about your boyfriends gay porn addiction?

[LazerBean]

About what sort of logic makes you think my husband has one, and how many relationships you've had. Both of which we all no you will not answer because it would make you look like a retarded whore.

[Softlife808]

@LazerBean the logic of wanting a man who engages in gay porn? I can't relate that's your boyfriends issue. I've never had that experience

[LazerBean]

Thank you for doing exactly what I predicted in proving my point. Typical trailer park trash

[Softlife808]

@LazerBean sorry hun can't help you with you and your boyfriends gay porn addiction. I don't have those issues.

[LazerBean]

Still can't back up your claims lol maybe if your dad was around when you were growing up you would have learen logic instead of learning how to be the community free prostitute.

[ObscuredBeyond]

The point is, you don't always know what to expect from day 1. Life is full of nasty surprises. It's about how you address them when you come.

If everyone knew what to expect from day 1, a lot of true crime docudramas wouldn't exist, and certainly not the ones that revolve around spousal murders.

[ObscuredBeyond]

@Softlife808 : Teaching runs in my family. If I can make her just a modicum smarter upon walking away, or just a hair less ignorant, then I've accomplished something. It may be miniscule, but it's better than letting her gray matter go to waste. That's how you get Florida women who destroy entire gas stations because they're too uneducated to comprehend what a yellow bag over a pump means.

[LazerBean]

@ObscureBeyond and my point is that the vast majority of problems in a relationship that are because of people could have been prevented by just having good judgement. And please enlighten me on what percentage of marriages end in murder, since apparently it must be a significant number for you to apply them to your logic so generally.

[LazerBean]

@ObscuredBeyond the whole attitude that one has little hand in how their lives turn out is why there are so many mediocre people whose lives are filled with constant failure.

[Softlife808]

@obscuredbeyond she's miserable her boyfriend likes gay porn

[PatriceONeal]

This isn't a good question, you can't make a statement about men who have 3 girlfriends that can apply to women with 3 boyfriends. Men and women are inherantly and eternally different.

[Vegasrunner]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy Why would it be a problem to have 3+ girlfriends?

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Show to struggle and indicate to keep a relationship going. 😕

[Vegasrunner]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy I guess that's a way to look at it of you have a vagina but for real men, it shows thar you can continue to attract multiple women

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Any ugly sucka can attract a woman. Quality is what matters man.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

It's what I desire, not just anyone to be with.

[Vegasrunner]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy My friend sounds like you are a woman passing as a man. Quantity is what matters for men. Name the man that is famous for the wife he has, and I'll name 5 men famous for attracting multiple women. Women look for 1 quality man, men look to attract as many women as possible. It's incredible that anyone would ever try to debate this given the mountains of evidence validating it.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I would have agreed in the past with what you are saying but now I speak from a Christian perspective.

[Vegasrunner]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy I'm not sure why that matters. Christian men are judged by how many women they attract the same way a man from any other religion is. You're making the mistake most women do of associating your personal preference to reality. I'm saying in general men a man's ability to attract multiple women is what has value not his ability to attract one woman, no man is ever going to be valued for that, and if he is please share any man in the history of the world that has been.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

They need to take off their blindfold, it’s not that hard.