We have been married for about 1 month and we have just gotten to know each other in marriage life. I've noticed that she has a bit of an anger problem lately. When she gets very angry, she can't control herself and throws things and breaks them to calm down. Do you think that it is normal that my wife breaks things when she is angry? Has anyone experienced a similar situation with their wife/husband?
You are in such a shock that you are questioning if this is normal lol
Well it’s not normal why the need to break things? What if she does smth to you what if she throws your kids away from the window.. she can’t control herself and is out of ethical norms. You are her husband and you let it go but if she does this with friends etc she is going to look crazy and others won’t let it go. She needs to do to therapy and teach her about stress relieving ways how to manage frustration and most important how to learn that the WORLD doesn’t revolve about her. If something angers her it’s ok to sit down and chill but this might require therapy OR you sit down with her and you teach her the way.. best way is you help her. Be brutal say the truth that what she is doing is not humanly normal at all..
Normal for her may not be normal for you.
Probably grew up expressing emotions that way and saw it modeled, or did same with siblings.
Time to invest in some cheap soft toys or pillows that can be thrown with less damage until emotions are worked out and communications improved.
I've snapped and broken stuff, not often. It takes quite a bit to get me there, I'm more avoidant as that's how I learned to handle threats and deflect emotions.
Note that anger has no direction or care, collateral damage possible.
Hey... even Jesus of Nazareth... God in human form, went around the temple steps and trashed the place due to disgust at how people disrespected His fathers house. Emotions are powerful.
The benefit I can see is to slow down and examine what those emotions are saying, find the purpose and modifications... that's the hard work, and have some for myself.
Good luck to you.
I do that, lmao. We’re just explosive people. I get reprimanded for having physical lash-outs, but honestly, it feels like my head would literally explode without one. There’s no “take a deep breath and count to ten, and it will pass” for me. It’s just an energy buildup that necessitates realize. One thing I’ve come to realize in life: people will try to criticize you for the way you naturally are, because it’s somehow inconvenient to them, but there’s really nothing wrong with acting in whatever way comes natural to you, you don’t have to stifle yourself for anyone else’s approval.
So, go easy on her, it’s just her “way.”
It’s not the Healthiest coping Mechanism. Your marriage is brand new buckle up because you’re going to learn a lot more about your partner this is your given an opportunity to be upfront and communicate your end of things. If your are bother by her lack of control over herself then you need to say something so she can work on it. Also if your planing to have kids down the road make it clear that this behior would be Inappropriate around the children cause it will teach them to Disrespect their belongings when dimly angered.
Sure when we’re all in great we have the urge of wanting to scream or break something but in the end we don’t do it because we know it actually dosnt solve anything.
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Yeah, in my first marriage, we wound up getting divorced about a year in. If you're getting that 1 month in, caveat emptor, get an annulment while you can, if you can.
She needs therapy cuz this ain't normal
You are lucky if she doesn't break things by throwing them at you :)
They shouldn't but society condones female expression of anger when it would call it abuse and toxic if a man did it.
Is it in response to you? Or something unrelated to you. Sometimes they can be angry at something external then take it out on you. Toxic female behavior.
I think all we can advise is to open up a discussion or to get couple counseling. It is disturbing she is doing this in the honeymoon period and doesn't even seem to have menstruation as an excuse. I'd be worried.
Either that or buy a stack of very cheap plates for her to smash. :)
u This is not normal. As her husband, you need go assert yourself and tell her that she needs to find other, better, and more mature ways to expess her anger. She needs to address what is causing her to be so angry and why. Then she needs to face it and overcome it.
That sounds like something a spoiled petulant child would do. So she's how old and hasn't figured out how to act like an adult?
I'm sorry dude... that you're married to that. Watch this and trust the science.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/bbpGkrViOcE
As long as she is breaking her own things, but if she starts in on the rum, that's taking it to a whole new unacceptable level.😿
On a more serious note, people who tend to throw things can become more abusive over time. You should sit down and talk to her about it. Maybe get her a punching bag and set it up in the basement if she needs to vent.
This is definitely not normal. Could she be pregnant and hormonal? Is she not adapting to married life very well? What type of marriage is it? Were you friends first or was it an arrangement? Are you the cause of her anger? There are many different questions that you could ask to see if there is an underlying issue to her anger and it may also help with deciding which type of therapy would be helpful for her or both as a couple.
It's not normal. It may be normal for her, or within her family of origin, but it's not normal, and shows lack of self-control.
I only threw something once during a fight. I was 21 and we were divorcing. I have since been married and divorced again, and in extremely frustrating relationships, but never again have I broken or thrown anything.
That was never done in my family of origin. I've never been in a relationship with a man who did this, either.
I won't say it's normal but that's quite a "usual" things to do lots of people do it, so long as she don't hit people I guess it's ok. Lots of psy recommend people to hit pillow when they're angry to let the anger come out without hurting everyone.
I break things, too. You cannot control her emotions & actions. You do something triggers her. What did you do?
Divorce is only choice if you want to keep doing whatever makes her upset. If you're willing to make it work, both of you should make sacrifices. Start from your side.
Well you're married now so communicate with her and talk it out. Ask her when she's in a calm state why she feels the need to do that. Ask her to consider therapy for herself or maybe marital counseling for both of you.
i'm the same now but i'm not like this with my ex. we've been together for almost 13 years i don't remember breakinh things with him. i hqve pushed him though
This is scary and could turn into violence later in the marriage. If you experience spousal abuse seek help <3
It's not normal. My girlfriend when she's angry she makes fists and flails in the air turning left and right. She knows that breaking things isn't good, but it looks like she wants to.
What sort of things does she break? If it's just things of little or no value, it may be tolerable.
She needs to have some serious and immediate anger management sessions.
Yeah, my husband punches walks and smashes things. It’s stupid I hate it.
If she is a Trump person, it is 100% normal.
She is, in my opinion trying to control you. A woman's flaw is that they think that they can fix men. The only person has any chance of fixing is themselves. Violence is never good.
No. Very abnormal and pathological and speaks volumes about an inability to regulate emotions. Sorry you married this beast. Get out while you still can.
