Guys in relationships, do you have platonic female friends you text almost everyday?

[Anonymous]

If you have female friends you're only friends with, and you're also in a commited relationship with a girl you adore and love, do you keep in contact with platonic/strict female friends by texting and rarely hanging out?

[razelove]

No, the only woman I text about everyday other than my wife is someone else I sleep with whenever she isn't out of state... Most women I do get close to are women I have slept with, am sleeping with, or will sleep with. I mean, everyone is different though, so I'm sure that there are platonic female friends.

On my end that would be co-workers and neighbors. You never try to sleep with co-workers and neighbors. It's easier to shake off herpes than co-workers and neighbors if you sleep with them.

[Finchie40]

No, if I am in a relationship with a girl she is my one and only , I distance myself from other girls’ out of respect for my relationship with my partner , the same way I would want her to distance herself from other men, other girls just become acquaintances to me , meaning I will talk to girls ‘ on a friendly level but I wouldn’t make them a priority in my life , my partner is my priority , It’s disrespectful to have a close opposite sex friend when you are in a committed relationship , it has nothing to do with insecurities , it comes down to respect for each other , My thing is we can only give what we want to receive , you can’t expect your partner to do for you , if you can’t do for them

[Asker]

Uhhh if your girlfriend had either close or just opposite sex friends way before she met you, would you forbid her from having them? You can't just get rid of your friends. I mean, a social circle is normal for everybody, some people are more social than others. If you respect yourself and your partner, what makes it disrespectful to have opposite sex friends if they're only platonic? You cannot really control your partner's friends, if boundaries aren't crossed, it's all healthy.

[Finchie40]

No , if they were already her close friends beforehand , before we entered a commitment , then I wouldn’t expect her to get rid of her friends , Now if she met opposite sex friends after we been committed then that would raise some questions of concern as to why these so called new friends all of a sudden a priority to her then that to me is disrespectful , Without respect in a relationship theirs is no point on being in a relationship with someone , when you live your life thinking things can only go your way , your relationship won’t survive , You should always prioritize your partner over your friends period , whether you agree with your partner or not you should value their decision over your own , You can be man , you can be pissed off , you can say your partner is insecure and doesn’t trust you , whatever you want to say , but the bottom line it comes down to respect , if you want love to grow in a relationship , you have to learn how to remove your inner selfishness for your partner to be able to remove it for you. There is a difference between Good friends and Toxic friends , If your partner doesn’t like one of your friends it’s best to side with your partner and find out the reason they don’t like them before jumping to conclusion that they are wrong , Most people don’t see what others see , Your partner is the outsider looking in., so they are seeing things that you are blind to , so it’s always best to talk to your partner and find out the root cause they don’t like one of your friends , Sadly 90 percent of the time they are right , A Guy knows what other guys are thinking , A girl knows what other girls are thinking , that’s why we are blind to it , We might be just being friendly but to the opposite sex they might be taking it a different way. Happens all the time

[Signinggirl123]

As someone who has male friends I don't text them everyday. I may message or call them for a while once in a blue moon, but usually I have to initiate. There are someone people out there that do they everyday things cause they have a really close friendship and as long as the tone isn't too flirty I wouldn't worry about it. And honestly when I was in a relationship I still talked to my guy friends, and I would be fine with any of my boyfriends talking to a female friend.

[Haha456]

Haha no man would do that if he were truly in love and consumed by his love. Being in love means you're so intrigued and fascinated by someone that you forget about everything or everyone else. doesn't mean nobody else matters but when you're with them, nobody else is ever like them.

[Vegasrunner]

@haha456 Men that are successful w/ women understand that they need to keep their options open. What's so bizarre about your response is literally every man known to be successful w/ women is considered successful because of the number if women he has.

[Keishio]

Are you 12 or something?

[Haha456]

@Vegasrunner

you're not successful. where is your success?

[Vegasrunner]

@haha456 I think you mean how am I successful. Is English your second language?

[Haha456]

@Vegasrunner

you're broke by modern standards. funny how you keep talking about "success" when you clearly don't have any

[Vegasrunner]

@haha456 Lol, Thats an odd statement considering you dont know my net worth but its also false considering Im in the top 10% of annual earners in America, and in the top 3% for African American men. Do you even know what the average American makes annually?

[PizzaDaddyo]

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries…

Since I know I really don’t have any female friends I text regularly I know I would be fine but let’s say I had a life long friend I text often… male or female if we were real friends, im texting whoever I decide with my own intentions. I would make an effort with both parties (girl old friend and girlfriend) what’s going on if the texts are frequent. Lol I few texts every now and then I wouldn’t care to mention though because I’m no cheater and no my intentions. I would have to honor and respect my girlfriend over the friend if I want a healthy relationship, to limit and be aware of texting other woman friends regardless because I may know what I know and want but it’s nice to let ur woman feel secure and protected even if it is a friend of mine for x amount of years we all would know the boundaries.

[Asker]

thank you

[lightbulb27]

no, sounds like some "B" has control of your man and playing him like a fiddle.

I do text with a female friend met on gag, my wife is well aware.

the problem isn't men, it's women and men. Women can and will play games to pull your guy away. If he isn't aware of their games and manipulations, then she is a hazard. Guys are sometimes stupid and ya really have to manage such relationships. As well, first priority is protecting emotions of your #1 woman so the others have to be dropped like a rock when need be.

When things are going well, and all in perspective with open communication, its ok to a point. but don't ever trust women, or men for that matter:)

so yes, your feelings and position are normal, if that's what you are asking. tell "him"... I said so.

[matchrestore]

Yup. My best friend and I text pretty much every day. She and I have been friends for 18 years now - longer than I've known my wife. If something was going to happen it would have happened a long time ago. My wife also has become friends with her, and encourages me to spend time with her.

[Asker]

thank you! that helped

[TruthBringer]

No.

Men and women can rarely be platonic friends.

I'm very content about having my girlfriend be the only woman in my life who matters outside of family members. The only time I text other women is for work purposes.

I wrote a Take that discusses this topic in detail:

Why it’s almost impossible for men and women to be “just friends”

[magiusX26]

when i was in such a relationship before, nope, but then again i really dont text anyone everyday. in fact most that really know men know i rarely even contact, not in a idc about thrm kind of way, but because i really am that much of a happilly alone kind of person. i got a brother by another mother whom he and may only talk once or twice a year. currently talking to a young lady that may actually turn into something quite nice whom i dont contact daily and yes its talking our way into a possible dating relationship (yes i know its contrary to previous statements i have made but some unique components that i never dreamed could be possible) and she does not contact me every day. usually no longer than day and a half apart in reaching out one way or the other.

[DancingQueen16]

I have a boyfriend and a guy best friend and there have never been any problems between us because we're all good friends

[Asker]

Thank you!

[Vegasrunner]

@DancingQueen16 That means your boyfriend is probably a beta.

[Synysterggs]

Gay man here, so changing the gender in question, I do speak to other men every day. I've known them far longer than I have known my boyfriend, and I consider them my brothers and best friends. I have no romantic or sexual interest in them, and he is well aware of that

[Jdjfjcjj]

Hell No. Being friends with a woman gives all the benefit to the woman and not much of any for the man.

I'm not saying don't talk to any women, but of those you do, certainly wouldn't call any "friends".

If you got a female you texting everyday and you aren't sleeping with her, what exactly are you getting out of it? Emotional support? If so that's why you aren't getting laid.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Not currently but I have in the past. I'm a pretty terrible texter but I make sure my girl I'm dating and my brother get quick responses so when they look at my text messages they usually understand.

[Fromdusktilldawn]

Not in a relationship but I have female friends I text from time to time but have sexually no attraction to them at all

[Asker]

thank you

[Guardian45]

I had a platonic female BFF when I was with my girlfriend. Unfortunately she died, and my girlfriend helped me get through it. They liked each other.

[Asker]

You have my condolences

[Guardian45]

Thank you. It's almost two years now.

[Bklynbadboy12]

I've had that before there shouldn't be a problem if there are boundaries put down that aren't crossed

[Asker]

thanks!

[Bklynbadboy12]

Your so welcome

[Nikki1989]

Every guy I know has female friends, but I doubt they text every day. That would seem excessive.

[Asker]

If they're only just friends from a part of friend group, i dont think there is a problem? I mean, it depends how much of social someone is. He could be working on a project with a female friend or something?

[OddBeMe]

Not everyday, as I don’t text anyone everyday. I’m a once a week texter if you’re in good standing with me.

But yes, I made more girl friends in HS which probably explains a lot…

[Drumlin2001]

I have female friends, don't speak to them that often. But then I've never communicated with anyone that much apart from a partner

[Asker]

If a guy is in deep love with his girlfriend and he is the type of a social person who plays games with his (male) friends and also has a few female friends that join in the games sometimes, and also texts to them because they're only friends, is that a problem?

[Drumlin2001]

If that was normal behaviour before he met girlfriend then no. Just normal for him, partner can live with it or leave

[Asker]

thanks!

[HippieVeganJewslim]

I used to text my Flower Girl on Facebook almost every day. Then, She went somewhere, and could chat with me rarely.

[westsideman]

No. I don't believe in love anymore. I don't believe no one.

[spartan55]

Hell no. Those two dynamics cannot coexist.

[Anonymous]

No, that's pointless, unless I'm getting some pussy.

[Anonymous]

They are platonic up until I convince them to be my side chicks.

[Wise4myage]

My platonic friends text me about one day a week.

[Jamie05rhs]

I certainly would not!!

[Jmmmfi4]

I would never have a female friend period

[Anonymous]

No, that's not ok.

[Tonyblony5150]

Yes I do

[Anonymous]

yeah