Do men ever “break it off,” or is it just the woman?

Question

It seems 99.9% of relationships and marriages end when the  woman  decides it’s time to explore new pastures.

RangerBlue22 · Accepted Answer

Women don’t do the breaking up “99% of the time”. But statistically they divorce men at twice the rate. I don’t know if any recent stats about romantic break ups but I’m sure it’s probably close if not higher than that. .

Personally I’ve only broke how with one girl once in my life. I have given up on flings but only once I broke it off in a committed relationship (I thought about it long and hard and I had good reasons for it). It was my last girlfriend and it was a complete nightmare about how she reacted (another story). However all the rest broke up with me.

Anyways feminists will always give the knee jerk dismissive excuse that “oh women are strong nowadays and tolerate men’s crap and ya de ya”. You never them admit the women might be making a selfish mistake.

In a some (minority) scenarios a divorce might be justified. But are there really twice as many deadbeat husbands as deadbeat wives out there? Considering how picky women are to begin with in dating I doubt it. She see something in the man that made her say yes to his proposal.

However when women divorce they get the following:

Alimony payments. Very rarely do divorced men get money from their ex wives. Even if the man is justified being a lower income earner in the marriage he will have a sense of pride (and societal judgment) not to take the money. However women usually have no shame mooching money of their ex husbands.
Custody of children. Family courts favor the mothers by default is absolutely huge. Lots of men’s rights activists have suffered a divorce where they lost some or all custody of their children because of implicit discrimination against men in the legal system. Women will exaggerate or outright lie about their ex husbands behavior the judges will usually favor the mother.
Less negative societal stigma for female infidelity. Not to say men can be cheating dogs. But more and more women are doing this crap and they always find a way to blame their husbands over it. Modern feminism literally encourages women to cheat on their husbands if they feel the urge vs working it out with their spouse.
Men have a harder time finding dates, decent women to commit to and women worth marrying in the first place. Women have had a perpetual built in advantage when it comes to this that most don’t want to acknowledge. So men are hesitant to start from scratch given how difficult it is. Especially nowadays.

Anyway more and more guys are single nowadays and not gung ho to marry. You claim they are selfish, immature, etc. There is some truth to that. But many men do want to commit and/or marry but modern society has made it less and less beneficial for us. Men have a lot more to lose when things go down hill in a relationship.

So we usually stick around and try to make it work if we are in one. We are usually not the ones shit testing. But if we aren’t in one then we are increasingly more cautious about committing and for very good reason.

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

I seldom directly break it off with a woman. But let's be honest as a guy I kind of know when it is going that direction and set the stage for her to decide if the relationship is worth having to her.

Starting out in relationship, you talk about boundaries... and what's important to you and wants not. But those boundaries are all relatively soft at the start. Round 6 weeks to 6 months those boundary lines start to firm up.

This is when you really and truly start to see if she is just as willing to respect your boundaries as much as you are willing to respect hers. And honestly lots of times those boundary lines overlap each other and that is when compromise becomes a bigger issue.

If she wants you to accept this thing, then you really want her to respect this other thing about you... and if there is a real give and take or if it is all words and no actions. Pattern of behaviors start to form, on some level you got to say to her,

"If you want to keep doing this thing, then that is fine, just know it something that is never going to be 100% right to me and I will never be 100% okay with it."

Now women seem to be more willing to make this point to a man a lot earlier on then most men come around to it themselves. But once one or the other does, that is when A. the other person steps up and truly proves that they care for you, or B. everything starts on the downward trajectory.

Once the down spiral starts, and she shows no signs of acknowledging my feelings, but expects me to accommodate for hers all the time... it's only a matter of days or weeks that she ends the relationship. Which is why the "womans" ends the relationship 99.99% of the time. They feel empowered in the belief they have that power... when in all honestly nobody truly ended in, it was just over at some point and she took the credit and you let her have it... because you don't really care who gets the credit, the relationship just stop working and she is as much to blame as the he is.

lilyanony1 · Accepted Answer

Generally I find the find they use the fizzling tactic or they create arguments, and talk about needing space.
The let's talk conversation comes up and then they'll cancel plans, or "pretend they forgot".
It's just a wearing down process.

So I've never actually had a guy sit me down and tell me its not working out or he wants to end it.
He plays games, whether it's long term or short term.

It's a really shitty way to behave. As it causes more frustration and heartbreak then sitting me down face to face or sending me a text saying that they need to talk and things aren't working out.

Noone expects chapter and verse but just a general consideration for the person you claimed to like and or love

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

I've had men break off with me, usually I can tell they aren't into me or the relationship. Often there is things said though that will be like, I don't want anything serious but he has no issues having sex then eventually he wants to move on.

There have been others too, who said we aren't compatible, I am too outdoorsy and he would rather stay in and play games and watch TV.

Which is fine, I would rather someone end it, either I or him than stay in a incompatible relationship.

AviatorTom · Answer

In my experience, it's pretty much 50-50. Sometimes she broke it off, sometimes I did. I guess that's the "No" option.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

My daughter was dating a boy with a wooden leg. It didn't work out, so she had to break it off!

smashleyy · Answer

yes it seems women are more likely to end relationships but I think that mainly comes from the fact that a lot of men are okay staying in a place they aren’t happy/fulfilled so long as they are comfortable and women aren’t really like that. From what I seen a lot of women get into relationships with men they aren’t aligned with in the first place and just assume they’ll change over time, that sets themselves up for failure. Relationships should get you to grow and evolve and the right person won’t have to nag you for you to do so. Healing/growing is a forever thing and comes naturally with the right person. If you have to force it than that’s not your person

ManOnFire · Answer

Men do, but I don't think as much as women. Women more often end relationships because they don't really know what they're looking for, and because they get into relationships a lot of the time based on cutesy, romantic feelings that fade. So they'll pretend to still be happy in it even when they're not, until they just finally give up. They become frustrated with the men and blame them for their unhappiness, when in truth 95% of women  already know  what/how a guy is when they first get into a relationship with him, but they have stupid ideas they can fix him or hope that he will change. And after years of waiting for that to happen, and seeing that it doesn't, the women call it quits.

Finchie40 · Answer

It seems females today end relationships more than guys do , mainly based off of my experiences and what I have witnessed , it seems girl’s today are more selfish and only really care about themselves, Trying to find a girl that knows what it means to be in a relationship today has been hard to come by sadly to say , I feel social media played a big part as to why girl’s are more selfish today honestly , Most girl’s compare their lives to others and think grass is greener on the other side , I feel social media played a big part on that honestly

godfatherfan · Answer

The first time I broke up with a woman was the 2nd person I dated after my divorce. I was 46. I should have went with my gut on the first date. But I was only 3 months out from my divorce (I never should have been dating), and I didn't trust myself. She went on and on and on (on the first date) about marriage should be for life... yada yada...

Then on the 2nd date she mentioned she had been married twice. Then on the 4th date, while laying naked in bed, she drops a 3rd ex-husband on me. I ended up with a panic attack that night. I was like "how the fonk many ex-husbands has she had. If she has kept that from me to this point, what else is she hiding?". I just ended it. I had a hard time with it. Since, I have broken up with 1 other person. I don't count not wanting a 2nd or 3rd date a "breaking it off".

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I voted women do it 99% of the time, but after I voted I started thinking about my own life and how many girls I told to get lost. I want to change my vote now.

It really does feel like that though when I look at other people. It always seems like it is the girls ending things. That could just be perception though or optics. Probably because dude's don't talk about it or make it a public thing. They won't even fuck with their relationship status on social media. I'll be like, "Dude, where the fuck is Cindy lately?" and he'll be like "Oh her, I quit talking to her ass."

That's probably it right there... dudes just don't wear their relationship on their sleeve like a lot of chicks do.

anon1903 · Answer

New pastures?  Oh you mean women aren't that desperate, ohh. Okay. I get it. Men, for one, feel broken when they're single. Not all of them, but most of them. Most of that is their dependency issues, at least in the conservative nations. Insane how normalised it is to not know how to do your own damn laundry and needing a wife for that. 
 
 And I'm saying this because my father knows his way around the house. He can even braid my hair if I were twelve and getting ready for school. He's self sufficient person. 
 
 He can divorce my mom any day because he's an independent person. I really admire that. I'd want that kind of boyfriend as well, so I know he relies on me for love and support, and not because he doesn't know how to make tea.

LazerBean · Answer

Believe it or not, some men are are capable of seeing when something is not working and doing the logical thing afterwards.

TenderFantasy · Answer

Can't generalize this. I've been broken up with and I've broke it off with people. Id' say in my experience MEN do more of the breaking up. I've experienced them being more shallow/superficial than women. At least that is from my personal experience. They tend to be in dream land. Always wanting younger, healthier, sexyier, etc. As far as they are willing to go in that regard.. They tend to have more deal breakers too.

Either that... or just my luck meeting assholes.

Quackthulu2 · Answer

I don’t know man. If you are always the one getting broken up with you may want to spend a little more time on introspection and a little less time online. Just saying.

EricSummer · Answer

In about one third of the cases it is the man and in two thirds of the cases it is the woman. 99% is a gross overstatement, though in the correct direction otherwise.

Moose304 · Answer

Just based on what I see when the couple is under 30 most of the time it is the female that breaks it off. Much past 30 I think it changes to about 75-25 with the men being the larger ones doing it. There are many reasons for this. However, I rather hold my peace and keep those opinions to myself.

exitseven · Answer

I dated someone for 4 years we discussed marriage and it was pretty serious. One day I just saw her a different way and I began to have doubts. I tried to ignore it but a few months later I called her late one Saturday night and broke upbwith her over the phone.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

This is because when a relationship ends the bitch gets half plus alimony. Most guys are willing to suffer so they don't end up a slave paying for another man to plow thier x wife.

Wraith_Cemetery · Answer

I'll just answer this with the lyrics from one of my fav Canadian indie metal bands Woods of Ypres: "The woman will always leave the man. Women move on, and men love forever."

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

Yeah mang... men break up with toxic / crazy women... And okay women when there's a hotter one shows up and have lower standards lol... Also a lot of guys break up with the girl when they realize she's the dream babe and they're messed up and broken so they feel pressured and break it off...

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Yes and no. I mean I have a very unique proposition for women and it's basically every woman's fantasy to some degree but they can't all handle it. They usually think they can change me but I never change and eventually they realize they can't change me (which is pretty sick in my opinion) and then they leave.

Funny thing is they always come back or try to but I don't do that shit.

Quigly · Answer

What is the source of your statistic? Why would breaking it off be a gender thing? Are you saying woman never cheat and men never walk away for the right reasons? that's ridiculous., you don't have much experience with relationships.

I will only say this,

Slavery is not the worst institution America ever took part in, The worst institution is abandonment. Some do it mentally and some do it physically.

LocoLuna · Answer

Guys do it a lot. Jr high a guy said to me, on the day of the dance, it's not you it's me. And now whenever I hear that term I'm like you're right it is you it ain't me. Guys definitely break girls hearts too

Do men ever “break it off,” or is it just the woman?

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