Do men ever play hard to get with women?

[HappyWoman34]

I was reading something and I don’t know the accuracy of this online article; claiming that there are men who play hard to get, to attract women. Just like women used to be taught to do, by our mothers. How accurate is that statement? Why or why not?

[SugarSugarplum]

Ever since we lost our civilization, the Marxists have taught everyone that every human interaction boils down to power dynamics.

If you want me more than I want you, I have power over you and I can control and oppress you.

In this framework, the old paradigm of men chasing and trying to impress women puts them in the weaker, manipulated position. A woman refusing to go on a date with a man to Cracker Barrel when she wants a $1000 lobster dinner is wielding power over him. If he takes her to the lobster, she wins the date and the power is hers. This is especially true if she then denies him sex and they part with him fuming over what a bitch she is.

The only way for men to "win" in this framework is to treat women like bad dogs who need to be reminded who the boss is.

That's the latent evil of the whole Power Dynamics framework. There's no room for love and compassion and kinship, only power, dominance, winning and losing.

[pass_the_celery98]

What if the girl is one of those I want to be a boss and a guy must simp me to love me type of girls

[Lalalove11]

Some do I think. There are pages dedicated to teaching men how to manipulate and be the forbidden fruit in relationships 🤣on Instagram.

[pass_the_celery98]

🙄 you’d be surprised how much time guys spend either watching sports or drinking or gorging on food or out with his buddies and they have nothing better to do except to whack each other in the nuts and talk about who’s stronger.

[Lalalove11]

@pass_the_celery98 it doesn't surprise me in the least. It seems to be the human predicament to waste time. For women we fantasise on men who are disinterested or not good for us.

[pass_the_celery98]

Why do girls and women do that? Think about guys or men who don’t care about them anymore? If that guy or man showed interest back, women or girls will
Get turned off or get bored.

[Lalalove11]

@pass_the_celery98
I think it's a psychological thing called the forbidden fruit and wanting what we can't have. If it's too easy, both sexes will take advantage. If the guy shows too much interest that's a turn off for sure. I can't explain why that is I'm sorry.. :/

[Flatmanlewis]

Two parts to that answer.
A/ Not if the woman is a woman worth having.
B/ Most men don’t play “hard to get”, men as a clan are just generally oblivious to female attraction to us. Most men go their entire lives without EVER hearing a compliment from a woman who’s not their mother. True story!


We don’t receive subtle hints, coy flirting, or cute comments as women intend it. This is very, very, common and there’s a lot of men who - weeks, months, or years too late - suddenly say “WTF? She was flirting with me?” as they suddenly comprehend the situation they were in before.

[Rosexøxø]

Okay makes sense and I wish to be neutral and I’d usually agree as men like to be straight forward but I think you also somewhat discouraged females from flirtations maybe perhaps cause you don’t like it or never found a woman who did that and appreciated it (she wasn’t the one for you, so it was annoying and you weren’t in tune with that woman- which would keep women safe from any not so nice guys).

I say think only because of your words at the end where you say they may go days weeks months before realizing something prior

And in that case- it means he was either thinking about it over in his mind and CAME to the realization, OR he remembered her OR the particular encounter with that particular certain her…

Meaning he could DEFINITELY have noticed her touching his shoulder and smiling him. Especially MORESO (I now realize typing this) if you say MEN GO THEIR WHOLE LIVES without ever really reviving a genuine compliment from a woman from the woman “clan” who was indeed not his mother.

You’d think he notice- aka [insert of eyewitness’s testimonial:] the instance where I personally have seen videos on YouTube of social experiments- WHERE- the lady compliments or more realistically “CAT CALLS” the guy and almost all the men in the video respond positively- taking notice, and smiling. Appreciating the gesture. She didn’t ask for a date. But he’ll never forget it… she got his attention.

[Rosexøxø]

In a general and UNBIASED sense- many people have different things that grab their attention. Some people notice things others may not. So it can’t be a blanket statement if you at all intended women not flirt with men. Some men will even admit to liking it. And an addendum of my own personal experience- my man said he loves me because I wasn’t EASY. He still loves me to this day and I should also add I don’t TRY to be difficult. I am just myself with not actual motive and I offer him my love and affection and the right minds got solve problems- SO I also add this to emphasize to many women I don’t endorse women playing in ways to hurt men’s feelings and such. I have no opinion on the actual question and no further comments on various things in these subjects so I’ll just leave this here and move on.

I liked your answer though. It overall seemed to have some truth to it. 💯

[Twalli]

We may not show overthrow interest in asoman we are interested in, but that's it. If she's proactive in going after us and we like her, we'll respond.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I think you are on to something @happywoman34 but it isn't deliberate.

I cannot tell you when I was single, how many times I was told, "man, what is wrong with you, can't you see she was hitting on you?" And I swear, I had no idea!

Even now I get hit on even with my wife standing RIGHT there beside me and I don't see it. I might interpret it as 'oh she's a nice friendly girl,' If I see it at all!

[Lynx122]

I don't think you can actually play hard to get. You have to have substance behind your facade. It only works if the other person is already more interested in you than you are in them or if you are their best option. But if that's the case then you're already in a position of power in the relationship so the games you're playing are not what got you there.

Playing these mind games is like pulling a gun on someone that has no bullets in it. You can try it but you can never shoot them, so you're just bluffing. Sooner or later someone will start questioning your bluff. And your own behavior will also start giving it away because you know you can't shoot them.

If a man is actually on a higher level than a woman it may seem like he's playing hard to get. In reality he's just not that invested in this relationship. If it doesn't work out he'll find someone else it won't be that much trouble for him so he wants an easy relationship. But he's not playing games. He's expressing his honest evaluation of how important this woman is to him and how much he's willing to invest in the relationship before it becomes too much hassle.

I think it's more worth it to improve yourself in a genuine way rather than trying to use a magical ability to manipulate someone who's not naturally interested in you to fall for you. Of course social skills and how you present yourself are important but I think there's diminishing returns. And I personally also think these superficial things are a bit overrated. I'll do a certain amount because it's worth it and can feel good I'd rather focus on other areas of my life.

[molonski2]

Hard to get - with easy to get being the complete opposite , using this analogy , I would hope that very many men put a value on themselves , not so sure its - hard to get , but just part of a more thoughtful analysis , but if you mean they " really want that individual , and she ticks all the boxes " , then I don't think there would be too many focusing on playing that game , but just following along with every suggestion , well I'd hope none is doing that , you have to put a value on yourself and your own time , on both sides of the fence.

[hahahmm]

Doubt it. More like a guy is not sure he's interested or doesn't have time for her and because of her own approach to live she perceives it as if he is playing a game. Men and women don't think the same way. There can be overlap but I don't think this is one of those areas.

[RingOfFire]

I'm sure some men do. I have not done that that I am aware of.

But I have been in situations where someone THINKS I am playing hard to get when in fact I am really just not interested. That sucks. I feel for women when they have to deal with that with men.

[Phoenix98]

I don't no we're only on this world for a finite amount of time so why waste that time with meaningless games that don't do anyone any good?

[HappyWoman34]

I completely agree.

[Chazmatazz269]

I don’t play with people’s feelings at all, and women didn’t chase when i was dating. The two who did chase me were psychos and i avoided them at all costs.

[serious]

Some men do this. However, this is a cheap, immature and manipulative tactic irrespective of which gender does this.

[sage2021]

Oh yeah! This one dude played hard to get far too long. And guess what happened when a guy does that? He looses the girl!

[Asian-male]

Both genders need each other's company..
I hope you got

[HappyWoman34]

I’ve caught a few fish in the past. I tend to just talk to everyone the same way now. I’m not a hard to get player 😊

[Asian-male]

Ohh.☺️ Good

[HappyWoman34]

Yeah, I let people see what I am. Mostly; although I am somewhat private. That way they know what they’re getting. They’re free (in general); to want or not want me.

[Asian-male]

Nice to know 😊

[CrabCakes11]

That sounds pretty stupid. Why would any woman chase a man when she could turn to the other dozen men who won’t play childish games

[blueonblack22]

The most successful ones do. But anyone can overdo it.

[FreyaRed]

They try but it doesn't work in the same way like it works another way around.

[ProbablyClueless]

I'm sure that some do. Most don't have enough options that they can afford to play hard to get.

[Dongie]

I did once and in 2 weeks she had me jealous and chasing her and pissed off at my friend. Figured out the next weekend when we were smooching that she was a master manipulater.

[Unit1]

This may work only with the top 10% of men.

I don't do that. It's childish. If girls do that, I lose interest immediately.

[Pohjolan]

Maybe some but first a guy has to be movie star level of desirability.

I mean you can't really play hard to get if the women are waiting for you to make a move.

[libsaretards]

Most men, no. We are pretty simple and straightforward.

[DrPepper12]

Hard to get? Nah. Coy flirting that's non committal? Yup!

[Anonymous]

1-you are so sincere
1-you are not arrogant
1-you dont hide your flaws
you are sweet ''2'', beautiful ''3'', ..

i think its much more tempting, and playing hard to get is for cowards and losers

[SotiCoto]

The only men who do that picked up the habit from women.

[ICanSmellTheCosmos]

Some women have thought I was playing that game, but I was just being friendly. I'm rather direct and transparent.

[whistlingwh0res]

When I arrive to USA I was surprised how much white guys know about women. Later I found out that they study about women a lot. There are books about how to attract women.

[TonyMetal___86]

I was, still and will always be myself, i don't play hard or easy, i'm just myself!

[RedInnocent69]

Guilty as charged. A few have pretty much had to throw themselves at me.

[RavVid]

Oh two can play that game.

[HappyWoman34]

So I guess men do it?

[RavVid]

I don't but if a girl is keen then there is scope. I've known guys to do it.

Along the lines of paying a lot of attention then suddenly not giving any attention which prompts the girl into chasing..

[Budheavy]

Absolutely! It's how I got six years of great sex.

[OlderAndWiser]

Not once in the history of the world. Never!

[LiamS95]

Yes. Probably

[Iron_Man]

Yes some of them do

[Vegasrunner]

Logically that makes no sense

[Enginn]

No I dont. But I think women do

[MatureMan40]

I don't. I am more strait, open.

[spartan55]

Nope.

[jahaims]

Immature ones do

[thisAppIsGarbage]

Nope.

[OddBeMe]

Not consciously.

[impalabill77]

I think some do