What should I do if my Boyfriend said he's bored of me, his feelings are fading but still wants to work on it? Yet he doesn't want to leave?

[Anonymous]

Boyfriend told me straight away that he's been feeling empty with our relationship. He feels like iam not trying hard enough in this relationship, and that he's the one that always makes the effort.

He thinks that i am not into him that much because i don't contact him often. He said he feels something stronger when he talks to other girls rather than me. He said it's my fault because I am always on my phone when i am around him and i don't give enough attention to him.

When i ask him if he wants me to leave, he said no, he wants to work on it and that's the reason why he told me this. I asked him if he wants to break up and leave me, and he said he wants to improve our relationship. That's all.

Any advice on how i should handle this situation? Sorry for my poor English by the way

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your boyfriend is expressing some serious concerns about the relationship, and it's important to take these concerns seriously. Here are a few steps you could take:

1. Acknowledge his concerns: It's important to validate your boyfriend's feelings and concerns, even if you don't necessarily agree with everything he's saying. Let him know that you understand and are willing to work on the issues he's raised.

2. Listen actively: When your boyfriend is speaking, try to listen actively and avoid interrupting or getting defensive. Ask questions to clarify what he means and show that you are interested in understanding his perspective.

3. Take responsibility: If your boyfriend has raised concerns about your behavior, it's important to take responsibility for your actions and make changes if necessary. For example, if he feels like you're always on your phone, try to be more present when you're with him.

4. Work together: Try to come up with a plan together for how you can improve the relationship. This might involve setting aside more quality time together, finding new activities to do together or seeking out couples counseling.

The decision about whether to stay or break up is up to you and your boyfriend, but it's important to take the time to work through your issues and try to make things better. Good communication and a willingness to make changes can go a long way towards improving a relationship.

[OlderAndWiser]

YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO HIM! He has already told you what he needs. You need to contact him more often, so he has a sense of being important to you, and you need to stay off of your phone when you are with him. He must really like you because many other guys would have already broken up with you.

[MzAsh]

While it’s good he’s being honest, he’s putting you in a position to compete with other women which is not a position any girlfriend should be in. Acknowledge whether or not his concerns are valid. Are you on your phone constantly? If so, stay off of it and engage with him more, but do NOT start worrying about other women because he shouldn’t be talking to other women to begin with. They have nothing to do with you or your relationship, and it sounds like he needs to understand that too.

[Aniih]

Take care of yourself, I don't think compering yourself with those girls will help there's always gonna be someone better or worse than us, dare to be yourself, if you love him go for it.
Proactivity always helps, but also paying attention to yourself.

[lightbulb27]

spend some time exploring his love language. it may be quality time, communications, touch etc.. figure out what he needs to feel loved, respected, valued. then do that.

it may conflict with your need to fiddle on your phone. you will have to make a choice and make changes.

he should do the same for you... it's a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Find what those girls are like and have what they have, except even better.

Maybe their style and appearance, find out exactly what it is he likes about them.

Be more aggressive with your desires, and he won't think that you aren't into him.

[JustMeL120]

Dont be on the phone around him. Thats not nice. I had a date who was trying to impress me by constantly beong on business calls around me it did the oposit effect i felt neglected so i dumped him.

[DizzyDesii]

Oh wow I’ve been both you and him before. But I still say end it. If you get back together, so be it. But you need to end it and work on yourselves. Plus other girls are already makin him happier, nah

[Loveleigh]

By this post, it doesn't seem like you're listening to his needs. You've stated what he wants from you but you don't seem willing to acknowledge him.

[sheikalana]

I like the fact that he was brutally honest with you. Not everyone has the balls to be this honest. Believe what he says and ask him what you can do. I would also advise couples therapy.

[Legendarylegacy13]

I do not know I guess try to fix it from both sides. if it's worth it.

[Badkitty41]

It sounds like you don't like him

[slightlydelusional]

break up

[Anonymous]

Leave him

[Gabriel-Chicanito]

Believe in'm.