Or is better to have them be independent? And I don’t mean just emotionally but financially, emotional etc dependent on you and you alone? Is that attractive to you?
Is it attractive to have a partner that wants to be completely dependent on you?
Few people want a partner who is COMPLETELY dependent on them. That's way too much, and it's unhealthy.
For example, Feminism paints this picture that "traditional" stay-at-home wives are completely dependent on their husbands, but that's almost never true. Just because she may not have her own income (though many stay-at-home moms do - some do day-care for other kids, some have home-based businesses, etc.), it doesn't mean she's completely helpless. Managing a home is hardly something you can do with zero skills and effort - you have to have some skill and take initiative. Same with caring for children. Most housewives are perfectly able to manage their own lives like anyone else, including their emotions.
This doesn't mean she doesn't have a deep emotional connection to her man, but she's also not helpless without him around (with perhaps only rare exceptions).
Likewise, most women would be completely be turned off by a man who was completely dependent on her, and rightfully so.
I've been in a relationship with a woman where I was the sole financial provider - but she did EVERYTHING I could want around the house - she cleaned, she cooked, she dealt with installers & repair people, she took the car to get it worked on, etc. She did everything she reasonably could to make my life easy and relaxing when I was home, and there was no resentment in either direction - we appreciated each other - but no one would have described her as "dependent" on me - she had friends, she organized house parties, she kept our social calendar, etc.
Noooooooo….. some men are into it. But no thank you. I need a adult woman I have enough problems taking care of myself. Lol. Much more taking care of someone else full time. Especially if I have children.
A relationship is give and take. Before the traditionalists attack me….. in a traditional marriage the husband and wife take care of one another in separate roles. Where each work equally as hard.
Not one sided…. Like some women and men seem to have this fantasy that they have to put zero effort into someone and they’ll give them the world. Reality doesn’t work like that.
For some people, having a dependent partner feeds their ego. They get off on being able to support a wife or husband and kids. But having to do it ALL sounds like a giant burden to me. You are their confidante, therapist, financial support, best friend, pay the bills, plan the vacations.
Total dependency on one person is a burden to that person, in my opinion. Someone may start off thinking this is great, but over time, it is wearing, unless someone likes control over everything and everyone.
I don't understand that and I like a partner who stands on their own feet and who is as much of a support to me as I am to him.
Being everything to one person might be flattering at first, but over time, I bet it's wearing.
I like that my husband and I are very emotionally attached to each other. But I do not see being dependent on someone as a good thing, by the raw definition of the word dependent. I don't want someone who is going to have a mental breakdown and not be able to handle being a single parent if I were to drop dead. Likewise, my husband would not have wanted someone who is not going to be capable of providing for our children if he were to dropped dead. I believe whenever you are picking someone to marry and raise children with, dependency is never a good thing. You always want to pick a spouse who will be the most capable, best possible parent for your children.
No, on the other hand, it is completely unattractive. He is not my pet. I prefer a man who can think for himself and make good decisions. I don’t plan to share a life with anyone who is indecisive and dependent on others for everything. I prefer independent men who still need me for support when the situation requires. You can look for support from your partner, but leeching off of them is entirely different.
Nooooo. Huge turn off for me. She has to be able to take care of herself. If something happens to be what's she gonna do.
Besides, I want an equal partner. Not a ball and chain who just drains my efforts while bringing nothing to the table. Both persons should put their best efforts in. Then combined your quality of life will be very nice.
Financially would only work if I was rich which I ain't. So impossible anyway. And if I was rich I wouldn't mind having a girlfriend who's not rich herself if I am rich I can easily share the wealth with a partner.
Emotionally? No one is more clingy than me so like to see them try.
Initially it is attractive if they just want to be with you but that means you never have your own time. For me If I am researching a topic of interest it is really goddamned annoying having someone come into my office disrupting my concentration with a lame reason.
If my work is being interrupted I won't tolerate it. I'm probably born to be single.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Not exactly. What is attractive is a woman who wants to be a true partner in raising a family and wants to make our children the center of her universe rather than paying someone else to raise our children. It's not about being dependent or independent, it's about what is best for our children and family.
No. I don't think the satisfaction to owning them completely gives enough joy to compensate the amount of attractiveness they lose due their submissiveness.
Independence is of the essence. Unless of course someone wants to put their fate at the hands of someone else. The risk that this someone is deranged is high. Why go for it?
Yes, as long as she isn't an invalid or something because she is far less likely to get out of pocket and cheat or leave. Strong, independent women are a huge turn-off because dealing with them is both a headache and a risk. As men, we are designed to care for women and for 99.9% of human history this has been the dynamic.
Not at all. I’m an introvert, and like my alone time- it helps me recharge after socialising. It would be really unattractive if my boyfriend wanted to be together 24/7 or codependent.
Noo... not at all... he needs to take care of his needs himself. personally i also don't want to depend on anyone... one who is dependent... b come somewhat submissive in the relationship and suffers
No. I could then never know if she's with me because she want to or have to. I could never have a disagreement with her, know what she wants or have my opinion and/or actions questioned. These things are more important than people realize.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
No while it's nice to be needed sometimes. I can tell you having someone dependent on you for everything is very stressful and draining and sometimes you find yourself putting your own wellbeing on the back burner.
Totally depends on what else she's bringing to the table. I don't mind completely supporting a woman, if she's making sure that all the little day-to-day things in my life are taken care of.
FUCK NO! That's honestly the kind of partner I hate the most. I need a woman who knows how to handle herself, im in my 30s i don't have time to be lugging around dead weight.
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