How do I tell my boyfriend over text or in person that he makes me feel safe and I feel at ease and happy when I’m with him?

[Maxiebleu]

I don’t mean to sound cheesy, but I am also not good with putting my feelings and thoughts into words. In former relationships I’ve been abused and cheated on and I always felt unsafe, vulnerable, like something bad is going to happen to me again, I was never fully comfortable in my past relationships. But with my boyfriend now, never once I felt unsafe, never once has he ever stressed me out or made me uncomfortable to be around him or anyone else. And I want to tell him over text, something to reassure him that’s he’s doing his best and he’s not doing anything wrong (he’s also an overthinker), I want to make him feel special, reassured and smile over text without sounding cheesy.

Updates

11 mo

Thank you everyone for your advice, compliments and support, I really appreciate you (^-^)
Just a little update the question that I totally meant to add in the first post, is that, Yes I have told him multiple times on how much I appreciate him, how I deeply feel safe with him and briefly about my past toxic relationships where I was physically and emotionally abused.. I do not know how much saying things out loud does anything for him or anyone, So I wanted to send him a sweet text or paragraph.

[sage2021]

In person. Sit next to him, while you're holding hands say it.

When I tell my boyfriend that, we are usually going to sleep for the night; lie next to him, his arm is around me, my head is on his chest and we are holding hands.
Most men love to be your protector. So when you say that, it should warm his ❤️ heart

[sage2021]

Thank you for the MHGIRL 🌹😎

[Screenwriter]

Tell him over coffee, or breakfast, not via text. Do it in person. If you have to write down three parts of what you want to say, just like you said it here. He needs to see your face and your smile. You should touch his hand as you tell him this. That makes someone feel special: the personal. A human touch.

[Peter_Penetrator]

Tell him in person just before you start making love to him. Then maintaining eye contact with him while he is inside you.


Think of something sad, to get a couple tear drops running down your cheeks.


Does he know about your past?

[Peter_Penetrator]

If texting is the only way you feel comfortable, then tell him that men need to be stronger than their partners, women don’t want to be in a relationship with some damn man child. Let him know you are glad you are going to be safe with him (Emotionally & Physically). Tell him you have been hurt too many times in the past and how you are glad you can let your guard down when you are with him and no one is going to give you any shit when you are with him.

You can also call him. Through text or phone call, he sounds like the kind of man who would be grateful to hear this. He could have been involved with someone who never appreciated him giving of himself in a previous relationship.

Don’t worry. He won’t hold it against you if you stumble with your words. You have nothing but good intentions by sharing this with him.

[Maxiebleu]

Yes he knows, but I don't really know how much my past relationships have affected me. I have really bad anxiety and I consistently feel unsafe around other people, but not with him I don't. I don't know if it sounds silly to tell someone that, but for me its a huge deal.

[Peter_Penetrator]

He needs your honesty. It will also make him feel trust worthy. You would be sharing something private.

[Peter_Penetrator]

If he makes you feel safe like you say. Talk to him. I know that is what I would want. The reason I was so detailed in you would be good to tell him; I have just recently said those same words to someone I have gotten strong feelings for.

[Peter_Penetrator]

I to have been hurt. I have a great amount of appreciation for how this woman has shown me empathy. That is a very desirable trait she has and I look for that in someone. It is difficult to find someone like this. My ex really screwed with my emotions. This empathy she has shown me, tells me she has no intention of hurting me.

I really wish she was willing to call me so I could talk with her.

[Peter_Penetrator]

Never feel silly about being honest.

[Peter_Penetrator]

This sounds like a response good man you have in your life. I am glad that you posted this question looking for advice.

Anxiety makes for expressing yourself without fumbling over your words.

Texting him how you feel also allows you to nitpick your words carefully. You can type it in something like sticky notes, save it. Come back later with a fresh set of eyes and reword if necessary. It allows you to continue to think over hours or days. You can add, subtract, words and correct your punctuation. Once you are happy with your message, cut and paste from sticky notes to your texting app.

When wanting to get something so important right the first time, texting is best. Study it hard. Get it right the first time. Spending time thinking everything over gives more time to put your heart into it.

Because of the road I have traveled, with all the potholes and flat tires, an honest, empathetic, woman is someone you don’t take for granted.

If I were him, a girlfriend sharing that with me, even over text, would be all I needed to know that she is the one for me.

[Peter_Penetrator]

Maxiebleu. Are you still on Onlyfans?

[Peter_Penetrator]

I was curious about your username and chose to google it. Your username name was linked to an Onlyfans account. How does your boyfriend feel about that? I know I wouldn’t be happy with it. And here you are in gag looking for advice that you can use in order to deceive him……. maybe he knows, and you’re trying to convince him that what you do should not be such a big deal to him.

[Summeroflove]

No you should absolutely tell him how you feel. That’s really nice. You’re a great girlfriend and you want to make him feel special and make him happy.



Just speak from the heart.

[Maxiebleu]

I really try to be the best girlfriend. I know from past experience how crappy people can treat you and disrespect you. I never want anyone I date to ever feel that way or ever unhappy.

[Summeroflove]

Well nobody is perfect but I’m glad you’re doing the best you can and yes some people no matter how good you are. They’ll always treat you like crap. You have to find better.

But you should absolutely tell him these things. Saying it face to face is better then text. But if you can only text please do so

[Summeroflove]

You seem like you have a lot to say. So just speak from the heart

[Maxiebleu]

Thank you ^-^

[Maxiebleu]

Thank you for the compliment!

[Summeroflove]

Your welcome and your welcome

[Maxiebleu]

Yeah I do have a lot to say, and I really want to tell him but I am not good with words and sometimes it comes out wrong or he doesn't get what I am really get what I am trying to say, even though I mean well. Also I am afraid of saying too much and pushing him too far, because I have been too honest before in the first year (this is the second time dating), and it made him feel uncomfortable in such a way, that he needed some space. Then again, maybe I am just too honest and definitely would considered myself more of a daydreamer than being realistic, like I am both but one more than the other. This second time of dating is definitely a lot different and better in some ways, we communicate better in some ways, he actually takes the time to see me etc. And he's started opening up a lot more than he did before. He also had shoulder surgery back in September of 2022, and a temporarily stayed in his house to take care of him, and it was literally the best thing that I have ever done and it definitely made us a stronger couple, and he considers me as his best friend. Sorry that was a lot, but you appear like your easy to talk to for one thing, and have good advice :)

[Summeroflove]

Well I understand how you feel and if he needs some space afterwards. Just respect that. But it’s better to get it out now what needs to be said.

If you’re not compatible and he isn’t able to talk about stuff. Well maybe it isn’t meant to be

[Summeroflove]

But that was the first year too.

[Summeroflove]

But as you said he’s opened up a lot more and I think you need to be said what needs to be said and if he misunderstands try to clear it up

[OlderAndWiser]

Practice what you want to say, but deliver that message in person!

[OlderAndWiser]

If you want to do it in a written form, write him a letter.

[OldWomanBySoul]

Leave him a little note, I, myself sick at feelings and shit but I usually try to put everything in a more and end it with something along the lines "I suck at this but I just wanted to make sure you know, don't ever talk to me about it in person tho it's too awkward"

[OldWomanBySoul]

Jesus Christ autocorrect 😩 suck** not sick, note** not more

[Leapfrog00]

Do both. Tell him in person first definitely. It sounds more serious and heart warming, and then later, send him a text saying, "I just wanted to tell you I was serious about what I told you, and just wanted to emphasize how safe I feel with you." This way it sticks with him and makes him feel special too. Good luck :)

[glennos89]

Just tell him. I would love it when my girl would tell that to me. As a guy you wanne make sure you protect your girl and make her feel safe and comfortable when she is with you. Its great to hear for real.

Real men wanne protect and provide for their family. So telling him is letting him know how does a great job and it will boost his moral for sure. Every real guy loves to hear that🥳

[Anonymous]

The best way is by not hassling him. If a woman is not complaining we assume we're doing it right. Because ALL WOMEN COMPLAIN. At some pretty inconsequential s***. So when a woman is not complaining we assume either she's plotting to kill us.😆 Or she's reached a rare moment when she's truly content.

[Maxiebleu]

That’s hilarious that y’all think that, lmao, I don’t know that pertains to my question but I’ll take note on it

[Opinion Owner]

It's not that ee want to think that way. That's why I like your question so much. Men are used to women not giving a rat's a** about what we're feeling. It's nice to see a few women who actually care. 🙂👍

[Maxiebleu]

🤍☺️

[TracyF]

Tell him the truth. Just be absolutely honest with him, and tell him how secure he makes you feel. And tell him that you want him to feel the same way with you. Let him know that he treats you right, and you respect him. Say you respect him too, because if men love one thing, it's being respected by a woman. Trust me.

[MementoMori777]

Wouldn't telling him in person proof you feel safe around him? 🤔

I believe in person should be the way to go, it's just seems right lol

[Maxiebleu]

I have plenty of times, but I want to send a message over text while he’s at work

[MementoMori777]

Oh okay, either ways I'm glad you've found a man you can be comfortable around 💯

[Maxiebleu]

Me too, they are hard to find now days

[MementoMori777]

Yep, messed up world smh

[MJackson1234]

Show him and don't text him. Cook a nice meal for him, take him out on a date, etc. Then during that you can let it slip "hey I really feel so wonderful and safe with you".

[PizzaPieMamaBear]

I want to reach out and give you a big hug!! Tell him just lie that. Men are simple creatures just tell him exactly what you said in this question

[WanderingLoveWizard]

My girl sent me a cheesy TikTok about this exact same thing and it was pretty darn adorable.
She also straight up told me exactly what you want to tell him.
Either one will do just fine 😊

[faithie_Artist]

In person whenever you’re talking to him, just casually say “ya know, you make me feel safe When you’re around me.” Just saying it will not only make you feel better getting it out, but he’ll be flattered as well

[BoopBoopBeep]

Write it down. Read it to him. That's a nice sentiment it should be through a better medium than text.

[crossdressingrihno]

Just send him a thank you message at some point and love on him next time you see him. I’m sure he’ll be happy with that.

[spartan55]

Please don't do that over text. It devalues the message which I doubt you want to do.

[Peter_Penetrator]

Of course it does. But the women has issues with anxiety.

It would mean more to me if it were face to face.

[SawerBrown]

Next time you're cuddling and maybe smooching some just tell him. Tell him being with you makes me feel so safe and secure.

[exitseven]

Cut and paste this question into a text box and send it to him.

[Babygirl_S]

He sounds like a really good guy. I don't think he'll find it cheesy. Maybe send him a sweet poem.

[Fireguy17]

How about face to face, or actually talking to him on the phone.
I know it's pretty old school, but it is a very effective way to communicate with an other person.

[TheThingALing]

If you told me that, id be thinking to myself, okay, I'm the meat couple of hours, she going to ask for something

[Iron_Man]

Talk straight from the heart tell him face-to-face anywhere text telephone