How can we differentiate between a partner's need for space and their desire to distance themselves from the relationship?

[birds]

[Finchie40]

Space in a relationship is only ok if your partner feels things have been good between the both of you , if your partner doesn’t feel things have been good then you don’t take space , By choosing space and needing space from your partner, shows you truly don’t value them , you only value yourself , making you a selfish person , You have to remember , you are not single anymore , your single days have come to an end the second you committed to someone , that is giving you their heart the same way you should be giving them yours , Your partner needs to be your top priority over everyone , or your relationship will not last period , You can try to sugarcoat it all you want, but the truth is , you are a selfish person if you demand space from your partner and choose your friends over them, Your friends should never come before your partner period and sadly that’s why most relationships fail, because people in general are selfish , that only really care about themselves , it has nothing to do with insecurities , it comes down to respect for each other , Me personally will not stay in a relationship with a girl that chooses her friends over me and I don’t expect her to stay with me , if I choose my friends over her, If your partner doesn’t care for one of your friends or a group of your friends , you distance yourself from those friends period and respect your partner, the same way you want your partner to do for you. It has to go both ways or your relationship will not last , learning to remove selfishness for your partner is not an easy task , because we all have selfishness in us , but it also doesn’t have to be hard , if your partner is feeling uncomfortable that you are going away for a weekend without them , then you don’t go period , you shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone that you don’t want to share things together with period , I am not saying you have to hold each other’s hands everywhere you go , but you should never make decisions without including your partner period , the second you start excluding your partner is the second you are already cheating on them , You are both a team it’s you and your partner VS this fucked up world we live in , just because you feel like everything is ok , it might not be ok for your partner , When you make decisions without your partner don’t be surprised when they do it to you. Always respect your partner if you want to be respected in return , if you need space , walk into another room you don’t need to leave for days on out , Selfish people need to leave for days. And I am sorry to say they are more than likely up to no good , they were the second they excluded you period.

[MaazHussain]

It can be difficult to tell the difference between a partner's need for space and their desire to distance themselves from the relationship. Here are some signs that your partner may need space:

• They are withdrawing from you emotionally and physically.
• They are spending more time alone or with friends.
• They are irritable or short-tempered.
• They are avoiding talking about their feelings.
• They are making excuses to not spend time with you.

If you are seeing any of these signs, it is important to talk to your partner about how they are feeling. Ask them if they need space, and what you can do to help them. It is also important to be patient and understanding, as they may need some time to work through whatever is going on.

Here are some signs that your partner may be trying to distance themselves from the relationship:

• They are spending less time with you.
• They are not as affectionate as they used to be.
• They are not as interested in talking about the future.
• They are making plans without you.
• They are withdrawing from your friends and family.

If you are seeing any of these signs, it is important to talk to your partner about how you are feeling. Ask them if they are still happy in the relationship, and what you can do to make things better. If your partner is not willing to communicate with you or work on the relationship, it may be time to consider ending things.

It is important to remember that everyone is different, and what works for one couple may not work for another. The best way to figure out what is going on is to talk to your partner. If you are both willing to communicate and work on the relationship, you can overcome any challenges that come your way.

[Screenwriter]

Need for space is usually about having personal time to pursue interests that renew a person's soul, separate from a SO. After that personal time, the SO is glad to rejoin the SO.

Someone who's seeking to distance themselves from a relationship withdraws EMOTIONALLY from a SO. Doesn't want to be touched, have sex, eat or sleep with the SO, or do ANYthing with the SO that was ordinarily and regularly done in the past.

There's a big difference. One is about personal renewal that brings something TO the relationship. The other is about withdrawal FROM the relationship.

The person is physically occupying space NEAR the SO, but not WITH the SO. The feeling from the SO would be as if they are a stranger living in the same house.

But healthy personal time gives as much to the SO as it does to the partner. After personal time, a partner is apt to share what their personal time gave to them. And gladly.

[DizzyDesii]

Because even if i want my physical space, I’ll still be around emotionally. They can call me at any time and I’d likely sit aside work and my tv shows for them. But physically, I just don’t want to be around a person daily (really people in general, unless I’m married to them). Once I am around the person, of course I never want to let them go and I show how much they mean to me. But yea physical touch is not my love language. Its more of an emotional thing (words of affirmation) for me AND after that would be quality time

[DizzyDesii]

I dont need to see/touch them every day but i definitely want to talk to them everyday

[caring__1]

A person needs space when they are feeling smothered by a partner or they're focusing on something that requires the majority of their attention. The smothering is obvious when you look at your own behavior. The total focus also tends to be obvious if you observe the person's life. When these situations exist, contact with you may raise this person's anxiety. You will see frustration, and there may be a tendency to lash out due to that frustration.

When people distance themselves from relationships, it generally looks like a numbness or loss of interest. They may tolerate you, but your being in their life won't energize them.

If you ignore the signs of anxiety or apathy and only focus on your sense of entitlement, you'll probably come across as annoying. Annoyance can trigger overreactions. Be a support system... available, yet not in their face. You do have the power to quicken the demise of the relationship by becoming repulsive to them.

[Avicenna]

It's a fine line, and really unclear if your partner doesn't communicate well. You have to know your partner and to be able to read the situation. A desire to distance oneself usually is a precursor to a breakup. Needing space may also be that.

[Lynx122]

Well it's about communication. I had to tell my girlfriend I need alone time but I told her I still want to be together and I want our relationship to stay the same I just need some breaks. It wasn't completely easy she is a bit all or nothing with her love she has difficulty holding back. But we're gonna get through it. You have to be willing to stand up for what you need that's the basic requirement to be happy with someone else.

But if someone just wants out I'm pretty sure it'll be quite clear when a little time passes.

[Fireguy17]

I can't miss you if you never go away.
For me it is very normal not to be tied to the hip of your partner.
My wife and I have some very different things that we enjoy, that the other one does not, so it is fine to do that, but we also have many things we like to do together.
I need to be with someone that is more independent, that can function on her own while I am gone.
Between my regular odd work schedule, I also work out of town quite a bit from April through October, she goes and will visit her relatives out of town, so while I like them just fine, I will stay home and take care of the critters that we have.
We also travel together.
We have 3 trips this year together, so we have a cat sitter that comes to our house.
You can usually tell if they just want to distance themselves from the relationship.
usually, they won't want to do anything with you and not even want to be around you.

[strateguy632]

THAT is the BIG problem pinks can't, differentiate so then when we blue want some quiet they panic and nag us and its worse... so if he says he will return by a time, or play until a time dont panic. if he leaves without a time to return, then ask... write text messages and see if said time or ignored.

[sage2021]

When my partner needs distance he get's ready real fast and runs out the door. Sometimes he doesn't come home until 3 am. I don't know where he goes?

If he space he tells me he's going to the store to get some things he really needs, but always comes home without anything, no bags either. Then he lies and says the store is was out of what he needed.

[ohsheeT]

Well it's basically self-explanatory the one who needs to find themselves and they understand that there's a problem we'll stay in the relationship and battle to make it work to understand it to bring it all together the one who could care less will walk away use it for a moment to say we split so they can do what they want

[OfMiceandMen]

The only way to know that is to talk to them about it. You can't truly know what a person is thinking. So why not just ask them? If they are honest and open in the relationship they should be able to tell you which way they are leaning towards.

They owe you at least that much to be honest with themselves and with you.

[DermalPunch]

It's always BS.

I am someone very driven. My basic responsibilities are huge and I always have some project I am working on full throttle.

I literally have to make a space in my life for someone so they really have to be worth it.

if they are, The LAST person I want space from is my lover. That's who I will melt into when things get heavy. If I want space from them I don't want them or want space. Maybe silence but not space or a break.

[DermalPunch]

*take out "or want space"

[CallmeTheKnight]

When someone wants out, everything will be negative usually or they’ll basically tell you.
The need for space is basically the need of privacy. It’s good to give space and let someone breathe. Some people drop hints that they’ll want you back around them and probably convince you to stay the night. Some will tell you to come back directly

[OddBeMe]

I would imagine their behavior will tell you. If you aren’t always on them and actually give space, then allow them to come to you.

Also snacks help as bait. I keep Oreos under the bed when I want to fck. One little wrapper sound and she comes running.

[msc545]

Can somebody chose you but they have a need for space that is code for" I really think I probably am going to break up with you, but I kind of want to think about it for at least a day or two and I don't want you to bug me while I'm doing that" that day or two will go by and then inevitably the person will break up with you.

[Davidtrry]

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[Anonymous]

Patience.
I like my alone time, relationships are difficult for me. I feel crowded and smothered and it’s uncomfortable 😣 I’m good with little interaction, the other person takes it person and puts up walls creating issues and makes up ultimatums, which’s causes conflict that was never there to begin with. Truly a headache all together.
I prefer to just have my alone time and remain solo.

[Ms_Facesitter]

The better you know your partner the easier it is to tell. If he's packing his bags to live back at his place, you know that it isn't going to be just needing space.

[RavVid]

If they need there own time/space it is temporary. If they are distancing themselves it is consistent.

[runnerboy]

If it is something they personally like to do like read or something it is best to let them do their thing, Of course the best way is to just ask.

[Nikki1989]

It all about finding the right balance. Sadly, some couples can never find it and that leads to tension.

[spartan55]

You can't really. I just assume it's an excuse if it's at that point.

[LiamJHayden]

Space to me would be, "I need a few hours to work on this song." Distance would be, "My friends and I are going to British Columbia and you are not invited."

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Space is temporary, a few hours apart to refresh.

When they are acting distant, they don't wanna touch you or get sexually intimate with you nor desire to talk to you neither.

[itsalyssaagain]

Sounds like you’re anxious. If they need space they’ll come back.

[RingOfFire]

I don't know the answer, but want to compliment you on a stellar five star question.

[Anonymous]

A partner who wants space will still be considerate of your feelings and makes sure you dont feel like being pushed away.

[smb930]

I think the frequency and duration should be a clear indicator

[Christoff92]

Talk with each other and see how to make it work for that distance space.

[nawtee_me]

Space is going to the store by themselves and distancing is going on vacation by themselves.

[DizzyDesii]

But what if i just really like solo travel... people irk me after a few hours

[nawtee_me]

@DizzyDesii For you I would make an exception only because I know you are loyal to a fault but when it is over it is over... You are not going to distance yourself and hope he gets it... You will make sure he understands it is over and has no doubt at all... lol

[DizzyDesii]

Exactly lmao

[EaterPeter]

It's difficult, by dating for long enough before moving in. Listening, observing.

[JustMeL120]

It's the same thing

[Iron_Man]

You have to talk it out

[Wise4myage]

By sitting down and talking about it.

[Jamie05rhs]

If they are regularly dishonest, you can't.

[KrakenAttackin]

Both mean your relationship is over.

[Alex8736]

By not being so needy and codependent

[In_Trance]

Uou have a conversation with them

[Angie4343]

Love this question