Thoughts about “Don’t give boyfriends, husband privileges.”?

[Izzy_3991]

I wish I knew about this saying many years ago. It would have saved me a lot of heartache.

So, what are your thoughts about this saying? Too old-fashioned or something younger people should know about?

[Lliam]

In a committed, exclusive relationship, I think people should give their all with the goal of learning if they are compatible enough to want to spend the rest of their lives together. Surrender to infatuation. Get to know each other intimately. Have unbridled sex.

Don't rush into marriage because it's a once in a lifetime decision; the most important decision of your life. But don't let that stop you from getting into relationships with guys who are good prospects.

The only thing I would discourage is renting a place and moving in together until you are married. Don't acting like a wifey, cook, clean, do his laundry, etc. Don't combine your furniture or share expenses. If he can't take care of himself, he's a loser who needs a mommy, not a girlfriend. You shouldn't be looking for a guy to support you, either.

You can always live at each other's places, but keep your own place, just in case, until you are actually married.

[Mewzinc]

When you say don't cook... What do you mean by that? Because I noticed when I'm talking to a guy I like my nurturing side comes out against my control. I make him food because I like it. Of course, it's not something I want to do all the time like I'm signing up for a job to be his chef. But I do like cooking for him a little. However sometimes when you give an inch the person takes the whole arm which is something I despise. What I mean by that is, once you start cooking for a guy he expects/wants it all the time which is really annoying. Like he thinks you are some perfect leave it to beaver house wife. It's like don't take that person's niceness for granted...

[Jamie05rhs]

I agree 100%!

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for the MHO.

[Izzy_3991]

You’re welcome! 🥰

[DarkCarousel]

Speaking as a single woman, I can’t separate the two, husband and boyfriend privileges. I don’t even agree with the idea of “privileges” in that aspect.
In fact, I’d rather put everything into the relationship, as I’d like for him to as well, to see if we can create a lasting partnership. I put value into all of my relationships with the people in my life (family, friendships, etc) and help and support them however they need/want. So that would also include my significant other.
I believe that establishing healthy boundaries of respect and deciding how you’d like to be treated will eliminate this notion of “privileges” for your partner. If he’s taking advantage or taking you for granted because your a girlfriend and not a wife, that seems like a relationship I wouldn’t want to partake in.

[Lliam]

🎯🎯🎯 Snap. You expressed my attitude perfectly.

[Peter_Penetrator]

Damn woman; well spoken!!

[fonduegirl]

Yes, the idea of privileges sounds very demeaning

[DarkCarousel]

Just realized a few typos.

But thank you!

[LazerBean]

It's true. If women and men weren't so quick to give out spousr privileges to people who are not their spouse, there would be a lot less divorce, emotional damaged people, and fatherless children.

[Anonymous]

I don't like the word "privileges" in the context of relationships and love. Relationships, marriage or otherwise, are about giving, and BOTH partners should give and put their partner's needs before their own. If both do that, then it makes for a beautiful relationship. I don't hold back anything in a relationship, and I want my man to do the same. I think it's the wrong approach to hold back because then your partner is either putting more into the relationship than you are, or he's holding back too. Both are not ok to me.

[fonduegirl]

Right?

[Miristheiss]

Define privilege? Are we talking about sex? Why wouldn't you give your husband privileges? That makes no sense.

Boyfriend makes sense because that is how girls get used and dumped and pregnant with no father around by treating their boyfriend as if he were a committed husband and how modern women get body counts of 20-50-100 because every guy she's dated for 2 weeks is treated as if he were her husband. Girls shouldn't do that.

If you are not talking about sex then you need to be specific about what it is you mean.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

Well it's probably true, but nowadays so many women are willingly giving it away like candy. It's why a lot of guys aren't committing.

[Izzy_3991]

I totally agree with you! If anything, women are encouraged to have sex with whoever and whenever. Of course, men with no morals are completely for this way of thinking.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

..👍

[fonduegirl]

So you expect your girlfriend to police around about sex or something? Lmao

[BoopBoopBeep]

Guys aren't committing because too many women forget they need to bring something to the table. I'm not suddenly going to commit to a zero-value-added woman just because she'll sleep with me.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Quit trying to rope men into marrying you. That's what I think.
You can be an amazing couple without an expensive ass ring, an expensive ass wedding and an expensive ass piece of paper.
Marriage means fuck all. Women are insane

[WanderingLoveWizard]

"Marriage means commitment!"

Bitch, I was with my girl for 7 years and bought a house with her. If that's not commitment, I don't know wtf is

[Juxtapose]

Well said!

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Lol, thanks man

[Juxtapose]

Certainly 👍

[Unit1]

Sounds to me like a terrible excuse to not be in a committed relationship and not being a normal girlfriend.

Needless to say about the countless of husbands and wives living like roommates, that probably hate each other while some long term boyfriends and girlfriends treat each other better than the married ones do 😆😁

[Unit1]

If there are "husband privileges" then there must also be "wife privileges". This goes both ways. What are those privileges anyway? Why not live as good as married if not Even better?

[Nikki1989]

No, there is a lot of truth to it. Give a man an inch and he will try to take a mile.

[LiamJHayden]

If a girl wants eventual marriage with the guy, giving him all of the privileges without the commitment is probably not the best way to achieve that goal. Not that it does not happen. It does. But it makes it less likely.

[JSmuve]

What the hell are "husband privileges"? Sounds like you've been burned one too many times and are jaded.

[lightbulb27]

it's correct. I think maybe ok once there's sufficient commitment depending on stage of life.

[Anonymous]

Forgive me if I'm slow but

What are husband privileges to you?

Is it sex before marriage? Is it cooking for him? Living with another?

[Izzy_3991]

For me, it means sex before marriage, living together, being a homemaker for the house when it isn’t yours, etc.
Think 1950s housewives but without marriage.

[fonduegirl]

What does that even mean?

Don't have premarital sex? Don't spoil your partner? Don't play their mind games?

I swear to god, conservatives have phrases for everything.

[Juxtapose]

If you're not putting your all into the relationship like I am, I'm going to check out o/

I don't have time for jaded women.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Bingo

[SolitarySolace]

Sounds like sexism to me. So women can have special privileges because they’re women (feminism) but men can’t?

[fonduegirl]

Hahaha XD agreed

[shades777]

this line if thinking makes no sense. Its a two way street, im sure you got a vibrator and Jesus to keep your pussy wet but a married man has needs and this sort of thing leads to marriage counseling or divorce.


So pick your poison

[abc3643]

And one of those privileges should be having children.

[BCRanger10]

My thoughts are that that is a true statement.

[RingOfFire]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/1nnLJcTrlhs

...

[Anonymous]

You girls love to live in an echo chamber and censor reality.

[Anonymous]

Out of curiosity--what are the "husband privleges" that boyfriends shouldn't get?

[Astarlessnightsky]

What are husband privileges in the first place?

[Izzy_3991]

For me, it means sexual intimacy, cleaning and cooking for them when needed. Helping them in other areas of their life. Encouraging them and supporting them. Children and childcare, etc.

[Astarlessnightsky]

Sounds like any regular relationship, you don't need to be married to do all that.

[Izzy_3991]

True. But is the man going to stay when times get tough or just run away because he isn't legally bound to the woman?
Lots of women have children and the men flee. Hence why there are so many single mothers and children born out of wedlock.
Gutless men love how women are encouraged to have many sexual partners. The modern-day feminist idea of “becoming like men” is behind this idea of thinking and men aren't arguing against it. Free sex without children (thanks to the many forms of contraceptives) is great for men

[fonduegirl]

Izzy, sorry to butt in yet again.

But the whole traditional concept is sexist and biased.

Like, women shouldn't let others use them as housekeepers at all. In India, this kind of traditional mindset is common.

Personally, I'd appreciate a maid more than my romance itself. It's that bad here lmao.

[BoopBoopBeep]

80% of divorces are initiated by women.

It isn't the men that are running away.

[slatyb]

What does that even mean?

[Izzy_3991]

Usually, it means women shouldn't give out the goods freely unless it's their husband.

[slatyb]

"Freely?" Trying to trade sex for security doesn't work and never has worked. Have sex because you want to have sex.

[fonduegirl]

Completely agree! Sex ain't no privilege!

[alice55]

good saying.

[whistlingwh0res]

All men are thief

[Jazzy54]

I embrace it.