Do guys agree with the "don't argue with your man," rule?

Question

I saw a quote that says: "Don't argue with your man. Men don't like women who argue with them. You can suggest but don't argue." I want to know how guys feel about this. Thanks.

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

Well honestly if its a two way street, so how often does he argue with you? I mean nobody likes arguments, but I always listen to what she had to say, but if a decision has to be made at some point you got to pull the trigger... so it all depends on what your talking about and if you think its worth arguing about.

I mean for me I hated it when my ex-wife would argue with me over finances or money... I mean I paid all the bills, I worked and she had no job and when she did work I still paid all the bills. If I wanted to buy something I would tell her that I am thinking of buying this or that. I would listen to what she had to say... but if I wanted it and decided to buy it then I did not expect any argument. She spent money on things and I never said a word... so the arguments usually ended like this,

"You buy things and I never say a word, so I expect to never hear a word about the things I buy for myself when I talk to you about it I am not looking for your permission, I am just giving you the courtesy so there is no argument later... so don't get it twisted." I would remind her that I pay all the bills, we have no debt, all the credit cards are paid, nobody is staving, the electricity has never been turned off, we got money in savings, you live in really nice home, you have nice stuff, so don't get it twisted I am not asking for permission, you protest in noted and I will decide for myself if I really want it or not. Truth 50/50 chance if I did it or not after just because I knew she would bitch and it wasn't worth it. Note I said ex-wife for a reason.

But when it came to things like what restaurant do you want to eat at then I just went with whatever she wanted... because it wasn't worth any further discussion about it to me. Of course we would go to where she wanted and she would still bitch and that pissed me off to because I just spent $80.00 on a meal and all I wanted to hear was a thank you.

But she is my ex-wife for a reason... so choose your arguments carefully. And if he is not consider your prospective or suggestions, then you got to ask your self how important is it to you, because over time it wears guys and I would assume women out.

N192K001 · Accepted Answer

lol  That depends on what "argue" means here . I love argumentation! Bring in the premises, citations, and data, and topple logical-fallicies, so the truth (and/or truth-pieces in each others' points) is found! But if "arguments" are personal attacks, then f— those underhanded tactics! But then again, they're declarations of defeat & admissions of 100%-depletion of any/all substantive-points to be offered. With  constructive ,  truth-seeking  argumentation, plans & conclusions can be devised that take into account both sides' valid points &  concerns,  plus  new options can be discovered , and even  invalid concerns can be finally put to rest . But with meaningless "arguments" seeking domination regardless of the cost (truth included), life is better without such things, since nothing o value will be won by any party.

DermalPunch · Accepted Answer

Arguing is mostly a fruitless activity. Unless you just want to take out stress in someone which is inadvisable. I don't think suggestion is the best way. Mentioning is good. For example, Oh I see Tina is sending you heart emojis. What's that about? Then you can succinctly state how it makes you feel and request the action you would loke to see happen regarding Tina.

Pinay_ako · Accepted Answer

🤣 who said this? I’m laughing coz if I can’t argue or fight or hash about issues we have in our relationship to make it work, then stay single. It’s a two way street. I won’t stay silent for very long 😂

Lionman95 · Answer

I´d say yes in a way that arguing often starts and ends with people attacking other. It´s not an exchange of facts but of emotions that often come across to a guy that he is talked down by her and make him feel like being an obstacle not a partner. It´s often the way of communication that´s the problem for us because it makes a guy feel like he´s an additional problem to her in such a situation but not part of the solution. When a woman talks loudly or screams at us that feels like an attack on who we are not only on what we did.
That´s why many guys rather avoid agruements because they make us get angry and feel like we need to ourselves.
What would be more helpful instead is a way that is less talking us down and that is also trying to find a solution right away so that we´re motivated to solve the problem and change our behavior.
I know that´s not easy especially since many people weren´t raised learning to discuss at home and it needs both partners to really talk about the problem and just their emotions but it´s still possible to try.

BullShark · Answer

Most guys would agree but as for me, I don't. Not particularly.

If I've made a mistake and I'm wrong about something, it's my partner's job to keep me level headed and look out for what's best for me so that I don't look like a fool. But that being said, I don't mean to straight up start calling me out if we're out together or with friends because that's really just embarrassing, which I'm afraid a lot of girls seem to forget and take it in a comedic sense when it really isn't. In the unlikely case, I'd appreciate it if she pulled me aside and excused us, and then we can discuss it together on when we're alone later.

And this goes both ways. If my S/O is doing something wrong as well, I'll discuss it later on in private instead of calling her out and embarrassing her in front of everyone. If you truly love your partner, you'll never deliberately embarrass them like this, regardless of your gender or orientation.

ethanallen · Answer

A woman will become more influential in my life if she is circumspect and offers counsel when asked and asks to offer counsel when she sees an opportunity to share insight that will aid in decision making. Ultimately, if a man is with a woman whom he doesn't value for her contribution, then it is a relationship that won't last because the woman will realize she is only to provide sex, cooking, housekeeping and a social calendar. Intelligent women want more than that. A man needs more than that.

razelove · Answer

I'd agree not to argue with each other in public period, it's bad to under cut each other. In private, you have to be able to communicate though, otherwise you get cheating, abuse, behavior that subverts each others efforts or the relationship, and eventually leads to a nasty break-up. You look back and realize you don't know a damned thing about each other.

That works fine in an NSA relationship, but not an actual relationship where you work together on goals, like trying to have a family, buy a house, retire, or even just wake up in the morning and support each other throughout the day and evening.

God_of_Thunder · Answer

Everyone argues in a relationship. It's just going to happen, at some point.

I don't want to be with someone who avoids arguing at all costs. Then she'd just be suppressing her own personality in exchange for keeping me happy. I don't want to be responsible for that, and it's not fair to her.

I think it's more important that both people know how to resolve arguments appropriately, and be able to move past them once they're resolved. Anything else is just unhealthy.

Domanihatu · Answer

I honestly think it comes down to whether the topic is worth arguing over or not. If it is a topic you feel strongly about, then sure, go to bat for your belief (because standing up for what you believe is a huge part of who you are)… But, I know there are a lot of people out there who are like me and thrive on debate, we enjoy playing devil’s advocate, we take joy in the struggle to make a point. And, it is that simple delight that has gotten me into trouble on more than one occasion. I have only recently learned the art of NOT engaging… Because when you like to debate, when you like to argue; it is a little too easy to push the argument too far and really upset the other person. In the past, I have managed to ultimately anger people who were lifelong friends (and I actually agreed with) to the point I had to come back and apologize because I took arguing the opposite point too far.

Ill_made_Knight · Answer

Argue... A woman needs to be able to voice her concerns and have input just as the man does.
I get that some ladies actually do prefer to leave the decisions and everything up to the man, but that's just not my style. I need a partner in life and I actually need the interaction to feel confident that all is well.
In my experience a partner that has gone silent is a worrisome thing.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Unbelievable, really. I’ve only ever heard of the reverse rule. How many “Yes, dear” do you hear from men vs women. I’ve literally NEVER heard a woman say that, ever.
Personally, i’d say the most important rule is this, “Pick your battles large enough that they matter but small enough that you can win.”. If both men and women did this consistently, not only would we have less conflict and more natural compromise, EVERYONE would be happier!

genericname85 · Answer

on the one hand side, i wanna say this is bullshit. of course you gonna argue about something in a relationship. you won't avoid problems by not letting her express the problems she has.

on the other hand side, i frequently experience women just being irrational and creating drama out of thin air. which obviously nobody likes. i would say neither men nor women should do that shit but i never saw men do that.

BrownSugar00 · Answer

I think that's bull! So what you or some are saying is that it's ok for a man to say what he likes and how he feels, but a woman has a right to remain silent and take whatever he's saying to her? But about the arguing, people who love each other are going to argue.

Lilas · Answer

If you're in a relationship then you're mature enough for augments and discussions! You don't fix problems by avoiding then!

Both should be able to express their minds with respect and maturity, finding à healthy balance of understanding and listening is a must...

It's a relationship not a prison!

PeteBy · Answer

Is that a thing? I have learned through experience just to let her have her own way. It's not worth the hassle of making her angry lol

Women are masters at reverse psychology, I don't know how they do it but you end up doing what they wanted anyway.

Bmories99 · Answer

I would much rather discuss and make decisions with my wife than without having her opinion in the matter. I will say sometimes it's a discussion other times it's an argument either way we both take our time to express our thoughts and opinions with put interrupting or disparaging each other. We then make a decision on the matter.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Yes. Don't be a bitch. If you have an opinion, tell me what's on your heart. I care! Just don't yell at me and call me names and accuse me of shit.

Marshymallow · Answer

I’m just gonna put this out there. Obviously I’m not a guy but ain’t no way you’ll spend so much time with someone and never argue about anything. It doesn’t have to be a heated argument just even little things. That’s just unrealistic

ShadezMcgee · Answer

It's not so much arguing that is the problem, it is the frequency of how much they argue and what the argument is about. Is the argument over a dispute of values, decisions, etc over something stupid like her wanting to start drama because she is bored? There is a huge difference between the two.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't want to be in a relationship where there is no ability to work the hard things out, and that is typically through both calm conversation and arguing. My only rule is that out of respect for our privacy as a couple, we do not argue in public. Emphasis "we."  It's no ones business unless we want to tell them what we're going through.

pizzalovershouse · Answer

Not always cuz some things have to be let out like you peed on floor an I had to clean it goes both ways cuz other wise we let anger build till we break up I'm not saying it it out in a non way try to be constructive when you say it like you dont say to a guy your getting fat you say let's work out together

Dazed0N0Confused · Answer

I can suggest, but don't argue? Um, no. I'll "suggest" & "push my suggestion" if it is a bigger deal, but if you're being a dick or doing something I disagree with morally, we might end up arguing.

Pyrofox · Answer

It's more like don't embarrass us in public rule. If you wanna show your unstable mentally do it at home. Otherwise you make us both look like we need to be in an asylum.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

I generally agree with it, but the problem is that men have to be down with actually hearing women's suggestions.

RavVid · Answer

Absolutely. Happy with suggestions but I'll dump you if you are argumentative. I will have power struggles at work and don't want them at home.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Arguing as in: raising your voice or getting 'emotional' is a thing I hate. But when there's a disagreement on details of life, I'm always open to hear the reasons.

BlueScorpio · Answer

No. That's unrealistic. Couples are going to argue from time to time, if he's not willing to listen and understand you're also a human being with thought and feelings and vice versa then cut them loose.

LazerBean · Answer

If you have to make this a rule, the relationship isn't going to work out anyway.

boredgal · Answer

Works both ways. I don’t get it, if a woman expresses their feelings its deemed “arguing” and they get called “being a bitch” but when guys argue they’re called “smart and admirable for standing in what they believe in.” Awww so much crap.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

"Wives don't nag anymore... they discuss!"  - Editor Gunnison, Rear Window

Andres77 · Answer

It’s a cooperative effort. You’re both adults. Neither has authority over the other. You can disagree but one reprimanding the other is not appropriate in my eyes.

Waldoe · Answer

I do NOT enjoy arguing with anyone... ever... you can offer a different opinion... but don't ARGUE... Life is already a pain in the ass, don't be one too

Silver158 · Answer

nah argue with him if you think that's the correct course of action. just avoid having relationship arguments in public because you'll get some white knight telling your boyfriend not to talk to you like that lol

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

If a man uses this line, I know he's a pig and he's not worth my time or respect.

Anonymous · Answer

Your welcome to argue provided you can argue and not simply insist you have your way.

Gavyn · Answer

I think both partners should be allowed to disagree, but I draw the line at *arguing* for any reason. It’s pointless and only serves to further divide couples

Anonymous · Answer

I have never met a man who said this. However, I definitely stick to the "Agree in public, debate in private" rule. No one likes being argued with or debated in front of a group of people. So if you disagree, do it in private.

Comeon865 · Answer

A lot of guys ard immature and love to isntigate arguments or debates but i told one guy i dont respect that he likes to try to argue with women.

Anonymous · Answer

No. It's about respect. You can respectfully disagree. We guys think you women out out of your minds at least half the time. But we just learn to smile and nod. Because you have to pick your battles.

worldscolide · Answer

Arguments happen. I think that rule is not right. There is a limit with me, I will end the conversation if I feel like it's going nowhere.

nawtee_me · Answer

Argue? I like a woman with an opinion of her own. It may or may not be right but she is entitled to her opinion. As long as we can agree to dis agree I am all good with it...

fonduegirl · Answer

It's generally a bad idea to argue with your partner on controversial topics.

LordOfThePines · Answer

I don't. My partner has an equal say in anything, she can argue if she wants just as much as I can. If your man is put off by merely an argument, he's just a weak man.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

Arguing is healthy. Too much of arguing is not. Not arguing at all is toxic too.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

A respectful girl won't argue with her man, she can always find a way to be soft and make him understand things in her feminine way!

baserunner611 · Answer

Not so, explain or information him, sometimes you must understand men we are stupid sometimes

Snakeyes7 · Answer

I don't mind arguments but it must be something worth arguing over. If I'm going into a screaming match over where to go out to dinner every day, that takes a lot of the fun out of the date as you might imagine.

MrPickles13 · Answer

I think it's an outdated "rule" and never should have been one.  I think that partners should always be able to be open and honest but try to not get into arguments and try and stay level headed.

marmalademan · Answer

depends if the women is intelligent and logical then its good to argue for a better result but if the women just complains without reason or logic then no

MTC29 · Answer

I was taught opposite: never to argue with a woman.

Anonymous · Answer

My wife and I have been together for 10 years and have never argued. There is truth to this.

JesseJayNeak · Answer

We’re already fighting the world. We don’t need women to be part of that fight

IndyZee · Answer

Like everything else, there's a time and place for everything. It's not fair to say that women can't argue with men but men can argue with women... but needs to be supportive of the other and not make each other look bad in front of others.

Anonymous · Answer

I live by this, whatever my man wants of me he gets, without question.

Anonymous · Answer

Its inescapable everyone fights, so no I don't agree with it. Since I'm lesbian I guess I won't have to deal with this 'rule'

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Arguing is stupid regardless. By arguing you aren't going to magically make a person change their mind.

Monica1984_ · Answer

Only if you have proof. I don’t make an agreement unless I do research.

jengeorge26 · Answer

I don’t argue, but I’m very submissive and let them have their way.

TroyDT · Answer

No. If I am being a dunce she'd better argue with me.

007kingifrit · Answer

i would say don't try to have the last word because a lot of women do that, but men don't. it's immature

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

Never heard of it. I do think it is actually valid but the way it sounds is what I believe would throw people off

Anonymous · Answer

i think that's toxic as fuck. arguments can be a healthy part of a relationship.

hafinjun · Answer

Of course, it's a shame having those who brake the rile can't , any longer, be beheaded🤒

Do guys agree with the "don't argue with your man," rule?

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Do guys agree with the "don't argue with your man," rule?

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