If my girlfriend loves me but mostly prioritise her friends, Should I do the same?

[Anonymous]

she's my neighbour but temporary long distance for an year.

I put a lot of effort in this.
We talk every night for 30mins. But rarely have deep conversations or romantic/flirty talks from her side.

She loves me. But, she put very less effort and mostly like to spend time with her friends during free time and approach me only for any need or to gossip about someone (except that 30mins)…

should I do the same and approach her when I need her?

[CoolCatMar1]

I think friends and girlfriend/boyfriend have to be on the same priority level. Of course the love you have for a SO is different from a friend but they still are the same level of importance friends have been there for you and girlfriend/boyfriend is someone who needs attention and time for the relationship to work so yes if someone prioritizes one or the other more they outta that window or do the same to them😂... Only if you are married the saw is way more important in both cases because you want to start a family and honeymoon etc etc... But you don't leave your friends anyway of course.

[CoolCatMar1]

The SO is more important***

[CoolCatMar1]

I don't know why it autocorrected it to saw😂

[Sasha0426]

Yeah, sure. Why not? 🤷‍♀️ Stoop down to her level.

[BigDog1989]

She's being sarco dude

[PussLoyalRespect]

I'm in a similar situation and doing the same made us grow apart, have New experience separately and Lost that Intimate connection. Most of All, trust was lost on Both sides cause we both was putting people first who cared less and putting people last who cared more. Y'all need to acknowledge each other as Numero uno, else she is saying your not her "One" and I bet it makes you feel like she holding out for me. Right.

[qwert1234]

You do you. Do what you think that will show her you love her.

If it's long distance, it's hard to prioritize you because her friends (or hobbies) are "within reach".

Keep constant communications, schedule online dates and so on.

If you feel there is an imbalance in the relationship - make sure you let her know. It's always good to know the other side so you can decide clearly on how to proceed.

Good luck.

[serious_miss419]

Don’t do it just because she is. That’s you being silly.
Do it because you want to. If you don’t want to then that’s all cool. Don’t get even, instead, use your words and communicate with her how you’re feeling. Set time aside go on a date and talk it out.

[Asker]

Thank you

[dynamicyandere]

This right here. Don’t match her. Be true to you. You do you.

For example, if they forgot to get you an anniversary gift, that doesn’t mean you should forget as well.

If you’re a good boyfriend, keep being a good boyfriend.

And if she’s not being the girlfriend that you deserve, then that’s on her.

I say DON’T stoop to her level.

Work something out.

And if you two just aren’t right for each other, don’t be afraid to walk away.

Another analogy is let’s say we’re talking about quality boyfriends and girlfriends on a scale of 1-10.

If someone is behaving like a 5 and you’re behaving like a 10, it doesn’t mean you should behave like a 5.

Instead, if you’re behaving like a 10, find someone else that will behave like a 10.

[Asker]

@dynamicyandere thanks buddy. That was really a useful advice

[Anemone978]

Yes never give someone more love or priority than they give you.. it only leads to misery.. treat them the same as they treat you..

[Asker]

Thank you

[james_d0007]

Spot on!

[Beautyblossom2]

Yeah. This applies even if it's her 1st relationship. Whichever one of you try to go faster than the progression of your relationship, the other one's gonna freak out or not appreciate u enough. You should both try to be on the same page. And all this shouldn't be too hard to communicate n solve👍

[RavVid]

Hate to say this but it is indicating how important you are to her is my take. Is it always you calling?

[Asker]

No she also initiates. She also complains if I don’t attend. But mostly that happens when her friends aren’t available

[RavVid]

You clearly see the problem. I think you need to ask if she is right for you. Perhaps she thinks you are always there when she wants/needs you. GOT boyfriend box ticked.

You need to ask if this is good enough and if it isn't tell her so. It isn't a matter of correcting bad behavior but whether the feelings she has for you suitably strong. I think you think not

[blondegrrl]

Yeah she is using you to feed her ego and be a sounding board for her problems. Nope ge your own friends and even leave her if she doesn't respect you more than that. She only goes to you to gossip? That's not a good sign.. it shows that she doesn't care about your problems but wants you to care about hers

[Noahzayed-]

This is better than her being toxic and obsessive.

You should learn from her before you ruin this relationship without realizing.

[BatsinCaves9]

Are you her first boyfriend? I don’t know the history behind you two, so I can’t give general advice.

[Asker]

It’s both of ours first serious relationship. Its been 3 years.

[Beautyblossom2]

Yes. A girl could be like this if it's her 1st relationship

[WhitneySnow]

You should prioritize your friends too if that’s what she’s doing

[Vegasrunner]

You should probably prioritize another girl.

[Gent207-2]

Tell her how you feel

If she's not receptive break up with her

[DextroShade]

Yes, if you aren't her first priority she shouldn't be yours. If her friends are single they are probably pushing her to cheat anyway.

[Subflics]

This is a common reason women leave their relationship if their friend circle is mostly single because they are jealous

[Anonymous]

She is using you for her free time and when she has her friends available she does not care about you. Simple as that.

[Asker]

Yes man. I feel the same. But she love me. Even cries when I ignore. Do you think I should reduce my efforts and use her for my free time?

[Opinion Owner]

Rather than playing games sit and talk to her and tell her what you feel. Most of the relationships are fucked up because people don't want to speak what they feel, also the more you keep it inside the more you will feel frustrated. I have been in same situation. So speak out and then see if she is putting in the efforts and dividing the time equally between friends and you. If no improvement you know what to do. Life is too short to be around someone who doesn't value you like the way you value them.

[Opinion Owner]

If you love someone you will never put someone in this situation, always remember that. Never let anyone use you.

[Asker]

Thank you buddy. Got it.

[Drumlin2001]

Dosen't sound like she really loves you.

[BigDog1989]

No, you fucking douchebag

[KrakenAttackin]

She probably doesn't have much substance.

[belle_kai]

Communication is key

[Anonymous]

You should do the same regardless.

[sheenagwapa]

she doesn't live you

[EaterPeter]

No, you do your thing